Legally seperated.

[jakey five]

Hi.

Ok so when i met girlfriend, she was married. But it wasnt a normal marriage, they had only been married for six months and in that time they had spent a total of 17! days together. They met each other, married a week later and then because of a job commitment she had to move across the country. And thats not all! He wanted to marry, she did not want to make the commitment. So she told him that she still wanted to see other men when they were apart, and he agreed.

So when she moved over here, she met me, left her husband and now were a couple.

Anyway, thats my situation. Im not here for you to judge us, ive been with her for a little over a year now and everythings still great. I know our situation sounds a little weird. I think its weird explaining it to people at least. I dont understand how one, she would agree to marry him even though she diddnt want to and two how he would agree to let other guys see his wife! But thats what happened.

So its been about a year, a little more, since she left him. And they're still married. This annoys me. She works for an oil company that constantly sends her overseas. She has been gone for a few months now and wont get back for a few more, but that isnt the problem.

I want her to do something that says she is officially not with him anymore, i think ive been patient enough. She says that its hard get the divorce started because they're on the other side of the world and the husband doesnt want to get divorced. He still wants her back.

Anyway, is she lying to me? How hard is it to actually initiate a divorce? what about legal separation? How does that work?

I asked her about it and she said she cant do that either and it would have to wait until she is home again. I dont understand why.

Could someone fill in the blanks on how all that works?

We live in california by the way, if that makes any difference to the divorce laws.

Thanks in advance.

[Rich]

Every state has different laws concerning divorce. In most states you can be considered separated if you've been apart for over a year.

She can file for divorce at anytime that she wants. With him not wanting one it will be a contested divorce that will drag on for a long time. Ultimately he has to sign the divorce papers and if he doesn't want to do that, then you two can't get married.

She just needs to file, not ask for any maintenance or alimony and hopefully he'll eventually sign the papers. Typically he'll sign once that he finds someone new and wants to marry that person. Then he'll sign the divorce papers.

Words of wisdom. The courts suck and lawyers will suck you dry financially. The longer that it goes, the more that she will spend.

Good luck.