ezride926
02-10-2004, 07:52 PM
Hi,
I am new to this forum and my fiacee really need some feedback on an issue. We are both 46 and have been together almost 6 year's but live 85 mile's apart, I am from the city and she is from a very small rural area but both in MI.
Here is the story and I'll try to keep it as short as possible, from day 1 her ex husband has caused trouble for us, keep in mind the small town she live's in, we were not able to do thing's in her area because we might run in to him or his family (he has 11 sibling's) and I was told they are drinkers and problem causers.
My fiancee has 4 boy's, 2 older he raised and 2 younger she raises (9 & 13) her ex has 6 children total 2 from a previous marrige and none of the oldest 4 children have made it through high school, the ex doesn't think school is important. This is a man who allowed his 13 year old to drop out of school and now this same boy at age 18 in March has to try and do high school at night for the next 3 yrears. The ex is known to abuse alcohol, cocain and god know what else. He lost his home just about a year ago do to being irresponsible and is now living as man and wife with his ex sister in law in a mobile home.....starting to see the picture? This man ignore's the birthday's of the 2 youngest boy's my fiancee is raising and has allowed the older 2 he raised to ruin their financial life's already. This man gets thrown in jail for not paying child support. There have been accusation's of child molestation at his home when the one he raised was 15 and my fiancee questioned him and took his word that nothing happened, he had undesirable's living with him at the time and we do know the were gun's fired at people over this incident. This is a man who has no concept of visitation, he has picked the 2 young boy's up from my fiancee's Apt. while she was at work and took them out of town with out her knowing only for her to come home from work and panic not knowing where the kid's were, this man has to be hunted down on the weekend's he is supposed to have them so that they can see their dad but usually he pawns them off on other people so he doesn't have to deal with them. My fiancee and I get along very well when together (soulmate's) and I try to take care of the 2 youngest like they are my own, I am a single dad myself although my son is now raised and doing well. Her and I never get time alone, vacation's etc. because we almost alway's have the kid's and as far as living together we are seeing a studant social worker about that issuse. I only have gone twice and my fiancee has been going a few months now but I see a studant social worker doesn't have the skills needed for us. I hope I didn't get to carried away but I felt I needed to present the whole picture.
Now, I just spent almost 4 day's with her and the boy's at her place and with Valentine's day next weekend I was looking forward to some alone, adult time at my place but yesterday my fiancee's ex called and said he wanted to see the boy's for a few hour's in the evening (HIGHLY UNUSUAL) and my fiancee and I both knew something was up, later that night my fiancee called me and told me that her ex doesn't want to take the boy's Valentine's weekend although it is his weekend to have them and my fiancee agreed and can't understand why I get upset, she claim's I'm causing problem's and this type of thing has gone on for almost 6 years! I am fine having the boy's 24/7 if thats what it takes because at least this way we know what the plans are every weekend. She refuse's to take him to the friend of the court over visitation because she say's she doesn't want to cause trouble......am I missing something? I see him causing trouble and her allowing it. I also need to mention that when the 2 younger boy's are with her ex the youngest usually call's and wants to come home in his words "I'm bored and want to come home mom all the adult's are out in the barn drinking beer". I could add more but won't I think you all have the picture, I love my fiancee and her boy's very much but I feel like my need's and our's as a couple are being over shadowed by an irresponsible selfish ex husband and yet I'm the one accused of starting trouble.
Thank you for any input on this
I am new to this forum and my fiacee really need some feedback on an issue. We are both 46 and have been together almost 6 year's but live 85 mile's apart, I am from the city and she is from a very small rural area but both in MI.
Here is the story and I'll try to keep it as short as possible, from day 1 her ex husband has caused trouble for us, keep in mind the small town she live's in, we were not able to do thing's in her area because we might run in to him or his family (he has 11 sibling's) and I was told they are drinkers and problem causers.
My fiancee has 4 boy's, 2 older he raised and 2 younger she raises (9 & 13) her ex has 6 children total 2 from a previous marrige and none of the oldest 4 children have made it through high school, the ex doesn't think school is important. This is a man who allowed his 13 year old to drop out of school and now this same boy at age 18 in March has to try and do high school at night for the next 3 yrears. The ex is known to abuse alcohol, cocain and god know what else. He lost his home just about a year ago do to being irresponsible and is now living as man and wife with his ex sister in law in a mobile home.....starting to see the picture? This man ignore's the birthday's of the 2 youngest boy's my fiancee is raising and has allowed the older 2 he raised to ruin their financial life's already. This man gets thrown in jail for not paying child support. There have been accusation's of child molestation at his home when the one he raised was 15 and my fiancee questioned him and took his word that nothing happened, he had undesirable's living with him at the time and we do know the were gun's fired at people over this incident. This is a man who has no concept of visitation, he has picked the 2 young boy's up from my fiancee's Apt. while she was at work and took them out of town with out her knowing only for her to come home from work and panic not knowing where the kid's were, this man has to be hunted down on the weekend's he is supposed to have them so that they can see their dad but usually he pawns them off on other people so he doesn't have to deal with them. My fiancee and I get along very well when together (soulmate's) and I try to take care of the 2 youngest like they are my own, I am a single dad myself although my son is now raised and doing well. Her and I never get time alone, vacation's etc. because we almost alway's have the kid's and as far as living together we are seeing a studant social worker about that issuse. I only have gone twice and my fiancee has been going a few months now but I see a studant social worker doesn't have the skills needed for us. I hope I didn't get to carried away but I felt I needed to present the whole picture.
Now, I just spent almost 4 day's with her and the boy's at her place and with Valentine's day next weekend I was looking forward to some alone, adult time at my place but yesterday my fiancee's ex called and said he wanted to see the boy's for a few hour's in the evening (HIGHLY UNUSUAL) and my fiancee and I both knew something was up, later that night my fiancee called me and told me that her ex doesn't want to take the boy's Valentine's weekend although it is his weekend to have them and my fiancee agreed and can't understand why I get upset, she claim's I'm causing problem's and this type of thing has gone on for almost 6 years! I am fine having the boy's 24/7 if thats what it takes because at least this way we know what the plans are every weekend. She refuse's to take him to the friend of the court over visitation because she say's she doesn't want to cause trouble......am I missing something? I see him causing trouble and her allowing it. I also need to mention that when the 2 younger boy's are with her ex the youngest usually call's and wants to come home in his words "I'm bored and want to come home mom all the adult's are out in the barn drinking beer". I could add more but won't I think you all have the picture, I love my fiancee and her boy's very much but I feel like my need's and our's as a couple are being over shadowed by an irresponsible selfish ex husband and yet I'm the one accused of starting trouble.
Thank you for any input on this