cultureshock
10-09-2008, 01:25 PM
Hi, so i have a story to tell that only my best friends and closest relatives know about, oh and the girl im seeing. I warn you, it's a bit pathetic, a little daunting, and a bit complicated. I've lost all hope in recieving a "good" solution because the way i see it there is none.
But i'm desperate, every piece of advice i've recieved is either "its not worth it", or "theres nothing you can do", OR its a comment about her side. In pure desperation ive come to these helpful forums to seek some more advice, but with a much better resource.
Have i got you hooked yet? I hope so because this may get a little long.
I'll be completely honest, and hope the other one doesnt see this, Haha.
First off i'll introduce myself. I'm david, freelance graghics designer, im 19, i've been through alot and earned the right to say "been there done that". life was never easy for me but i always seemed to get what i want. im an easy going guy, never egoistical, nor shallow. i take pride in who i am but dont think to highly of myself as i know there is plenty of room for improvement. going to school part time...and i have a younger sibling.
the girls involved are Katie(18 now), her two sisters Jennifer(mid 20's) and sarah(15). Katie lives in Ontario, canada, I live in Florida.
The main issue is from when i first tried to see her and she wasnt able to pick me up and we faught over that. this is where it started.
so this is the story....
nearly 4 years ago i met a girl online through a social website, her name is katie and I though she was the most beautiful girl ive ever seen. so i sent her a message and we started chatting and instantly there was a very interesting connection. hard to say because this is...online,and not real life, but our convos lasted for hours and there was always high interest. We were young.... and we hit it off soon after a few weeks. The relationship didnt last long, only a couple months, and after that we got back together again. this process repeated itself 4 maybe 6 times in this nearly 4 year relationship life span. ill spare you alot, and just say we "got back together" around march of this year and weve been "together" ever since. its been a very smooth ride this time. before we got "together" we agreed to do it differently this time because each time we broke up, it hurt a little more. and last time, it was nothing less of devastation.
Well, out of that devastation something stuck with me. Something bad, that i knew could possibly hurt our future. Well i was right and i believe i should have prepared myself better for this. So here is the issue and how it happened. :rolleyes:
December of last year we had a falling out that lasted a couple months. It finally ended around christmas time and it was pretty painful. Only expected. Yet this time it was different. We were more angry at eachother than usual, and constantly ed at eachother... I tried to walk away, and i did i though, for a while. Then around new years i was happily partying and drinking, and then i get a message. its from Katie, messaging me and talking smack. obviously she wasnt done so we got into it and argued, about everything. I was getting highly irritated because it was new years, so i let go of everything and let my rage out. Not a good idea. These fights lasted on a couple weeks and i made her cry quite alot, something rarely seen for her as she sees crying as a weakness. Eventually i made her cry to her family( hey i cried to, im not the only bad guy here), which totally embaressed her as her family heavily depends on independance. Her mom and dad got angry at me, Her older sister got involved to defend her, but her little sister wanted to stay out of it so we stayed friends as we have in the past year.
So i got more emails from katie, bashing me and what happened and all that, how dumb i was to try and see her with not enough money..etc.
Truth be told, when i went to see her for the first time in 3 years at that time, i had 500 bucks on me, 400 of it was spend on getting there by bus, 50 on food, and 20 on currency exchange. the rest was lost(silly me =\ )
So i tried to explain how i sacrificed so much, literally starved for a few days coming back home, trying to see her to make the relationship healthy again, etc etc. yes it was a stupid act, but i knew we were going to break up again so i wanted to try my best to prevent that.
Okay back to the story!
So i resorted in something totally stupid and idiotic which got me into my very regretful position. yes VERY regretful as it is coming to bite my right in the ass now.
I intentionally flirted with her little sister (sarah), because i knew katie would find out. I did it to get back at katie for hurting me, so..i wanted to hurt her back. well yes thsi was stupid, idiotic, and something beyond fcked up. i wish i never had done it, but i was to hyped up on being hurt and trying to make her feel the way i did at the time.
So katie did find out, she told her older sister Jennifer, and jennifer started emailing me threatening me and totally bashing me. I didnt fight back at jennifer, she had me, and i didnt expect it, so i coward up and submitted. I apologized and i had to stop talking to all of them. So i did.
.........a month or two passes by.........
And surprise surprise me and katie start talking again. Same with me and sarah, i apologized to her for using her like that and i was very ashamed.
We work things out and we were pretty happy to be talking to eachother again because both of us came so close to fully letting go and moving on.
Eventually we...hit it off again. agreeing to do it differently and not hurt like that ever again. Its been pretty smooth ever since...
Problem is.. Her older sister Jennifer doesnt know.
This time with a couple thousand dollars, i flew to see katie and be with her for a week. It was beyond amazing and I finally realized this was the girl i wanted to be with the rest of my life. Grow old with, Have children with, make her happy, and just do everything with her. Ive never felt so on top of the world before, it was phenomenal. This was in august of this year.
Shortly after that, she decided to plan a trip to come here now in florida and see me for two weeks, for christmas and new years.
Well, we're both in college/university now...matured more and have learned alot of things...
Welllll... She doesnt like lying to her family. Her older sister threatened her by saying "you better not be talking to him or be going down there to see him", she basically went on to say shed disown her. Her parents dont really mind anymore, but her older sister still has a grudge against me and doesnt want Katie seeing me AT ALL PERIOD.
Shes had to lie to her older sister and hide me, which she doesnt like. So this has kinda gotten to her now.
So with her parents not really supporting her through school and all that, Jennifer is the only one that helps her out, and is her only support, Jennifer is all katie has over there. And if Jennifer were to find out about me and katie, Katie would lose jennifer.
So after talking about this I was toldby katie that Jennifer would be chosen over me, Which i understand 100%.
So katie has decided that her coming to see me in december...will be the last time we see eachother. this totally broke my heart. She cant deal with the fact that jennifer still hates me and that shes taking a risk about this, and if jennifer were to find out then katie is left with nothing. We'd break up after december pretty much but doesnt want me to think about that while shes here. She said if she wants me to be happy in the future then its best to cut off early..
What makes me happy is her, and i have to fight for her now.
I dont want to lose her again. after pretty much begging her, i asked her to try and fix it afterwards, before she decides to end this. and she approved.
So I have to talk to jennifer to get her to somehow approve of me, or...not care that much that meand katie see eachother. I have to do something about this problem.
I have to get Jennifer to not hate me so much, so that it doesnt affect katie anymore.
Guys/Girls, this is a huge task for me, I feel like this is my imminent doom...Ive never done something like this before, Ive never gone up against anyones family members....I hate this so much ive lost sleep over it, Constantly trying to think of a plan... And I have none...
i truly love this girl...i gotta fight for her and try to keep her.
can anyone Please tell me your thoughts on how i could make this better? any ideas or bits of advice?
Coming on here was my last hope of finding an answer. After finally being with her, i cant give up so easily, i cant let her go so easily.
thank you so much for reading this! much appreciated! :D
David
But i'm desperate, every piece of advice i've recieved is either "its not worth it", or "theres nothing you can do", OR its a comment about her side. In pure desperation ive come to these helpful forums to seek some more advice, but with a much better resource.
Have i got you hooked yet? I hope so because this may get a little long.
I'll be completely honest, and hope the other one doesnt see this, Haha.
First off i'll introduce myself. I'm david, freelance graghics designer, im 19, i've been through alot and earned the right to say "been there done that". life was never easy for me but i always seemed to get what i want. im an easy going guy, never egoistical, nor shallow. i take pride in who i am but dont think to highly of myself as i know there is plenty of room for improvement. going to school part time...and i have a younger sibling.
the girls involved are Katie(18 now), her two sisters Jennifer(mid 20's) and sarah(15). Katie lives in Ontario, canada, I live in Florida.
The main issue is from when i first tried to see her and she wasnt able to pick me up and we faught over that. this is where it started.
so this is the story....
nearly 4 years ago i met a girl online through a social website, her name is katie and I though she was the most beautiful girl ive ever seen. so i sent her a message and we started chatting and instantly there was a very interesting connection. hard to say because this is...online,and not real life, but our convos lasted for hours and there was always high interest. We were young.... and we hit it off soon after a few weeks. The relationship didnt last long, only a couple months, and after that we got back together again. this process repeated itself 4 maybe 6 times in this nearly 4 year relationship life span. ill spare you alot, and just say we "got back together" around march of this year and weve been "together" ever since. its been a very smooth ride this time. before we got "together" we agreed to do it differently this time because each time we broke up, it hurt a little more. and last time, it was nothing less of devastation.
Well, out of that devastation something stuck with me. Something bad, that i knew could possibly hurt our future. Well i was right and i believe i should have prepared myself better for this. So here is the issue and how it happened. :rolleyes:
December of last year we had a falling out that lasted a couple months. It finally ended around christmas time and it was pretty painful. Only expected. Yet this time it was different. We were more angry at eachother than usual, and constantly ed at eachother... I tried to walk away, and i did i though, for a while. Then around new years i was happily partying and drinking, and then i get a message. its from Katie, messaging me and talking smack. obviously she wasnt done so we got into it and argued, about everything. I was getting highly irritated because it was new years, so i let go of everything and let my rage out. Not a good idea. These fights lasted on a couple weeks and i made her cry quite alot, something rarely seen for her as she sees crying as a weakness. Eventually i made her cry to her family( hey i cried to, im not the only bad guy here), which totally embaressed her as her family heavily depends on independance. Her mom and dad got angry at me, Her older sister got involved to defend her, but her little sister wanted to stay out of it so we stayed friends as we have in the past year.
So i got more emails from katie, bashing me and what happened and all that, how dumb i was to try and see her with not enough money..etc.
Truth be told, when i went to see her for the first time in 3 years at that time, i had 500 bucks on me, 400 of it was spend on getting there by bus, 50 on food, and 20 on currency exchange. the rest was lost(silly me =\ )
So i tried to explain how i sacrificed so much, literally starved for a few days coming back home, trying to see her to make the relationship healthy again, etc etc. yes it was a stupid act, but i knew we were going to break up again so i wanted to try my best to prevent that.
Okay back to the story!
So i resorted in something totally stupid and idiotic which got me into my very regretful position. yes VERY regretful as it is coming to bite my right in the ass now.
I intentionally flirted with her little sister (sarah), because i knew katie would find out. I did it to get back at katie for hurting me, so..i wanted to hurt her back. well yes thsi was stupid, idiotic, and something beyond fcked up. i wish i never had done it, but i was to hyped up on being hurt and trying to make her feel the way i did at the time.
So katie did find out, she told her older sister Jennifer, and jennifer started emailing me threatening me and totally bashing me. I didnt fight back at jennifer, she had me, and i didnt expect it, so i coward up and submitted. I apologized and i had to stop talking to all of them. So i did.
.........a month or two passes by.........
And surprise surprise me and katie start talking again. Same with me and sarah, i apologized to her for using her like that and i was very ashamed.
We work things out and we were pretty happy to be talking to eachother again because both of us came so close to fully letting go and moving on.
Eventually we...hit it off again. agreeing to do it differently and not hurt like that ever again. Its been pretty smooth ever since...
Problem is.. Her older sister Jennifer doesnt know.
This time with a couple thousand dollars, i flew to see katie and be with her for a week. It was beyond amazing and I finally realized this was the girl i wanted to be with the rest of my life. Grow old with, Have children with, make her happy, and just do everything with her. Ive never felt so on top of the world before, it was phenomenal. This was in august of this year.
Shortly after that, she decided to plan a trip to come here now in florida and see me for two weeks, for christmas and new years.
Well, we're both in college/university now...matured more and have learned alot of things...
Welllll... She doesnt like lying to her family. Her older sister threatened her by saying "you better not be talking to him or be going down there to see him", she basically went on to say shed disown her. Her parents dont really mind anymore, but her older sister still has a grudge against me and doesnt want Katie seeing me AT ALL PERIOD.
Shes had to lie to her older sister and hide me, which she doesnt like. So this has kinda gotten to her now.
So with her parents not really supporting her through school and all that, Jennifer is the only one that helps her out, and is her only support, Jennifer is all katie has over there. And if Jennifer were to find out about me and katie, Katie would lose jennifer.
So after talking about this I was toldby katie that Jennifer would be chosen over me, Which i understand 100%.
So katie has decided that her coming to see me in december...will be the last time we see eachother. this totally broke my heart. She cant deal with the fact that jennifer still hates me and that shes taking a risk about this, and if jennifer were to find out then katie is left with nothing. We'd break up after december pretty much but doesnt want me to think about that while shes here. She said if she wants me to be happy in the future then its best to cut off early..
What makes me happy is her, and i have to fight for her now.
I dont want to lose her again. after pretty much begging her, i asked her to try and fix it afterwards, before she decides to end this. and she approved.
So I have to talk to jennifer to get her to somehow approve of me, or...not care that much that meand katie see eachother. I have to do something about this problem.
I have to get Jennifer to not hate me so much, so that it doesnt affect katie anymore.
Guys/Girls, this is a huge task for me, I feel like this is my imminent doom...Ive never done something like this before, Ive never gone up against anyones family members....I hate this so much ive lost sleep over it, Constantly trying to think of a plan... And I have none...
i truly love this girl...i gotta fight for her and try to keep her.
can anyone Please tell me your thoughts on how i could make this better? any ideas or bits of advice?
Coming on here was my last hope of finding an answer. After finally being with her, i cant give up so easily, i cant let her go so easily.
thank you so much for reading this! much appreciated! :D
David