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countryboi
02-28-2005, 06:07 AM
Hey, this is my first post here. i've read some stories similiar to my case but i'd really like an opinion to fit my circumstances... because they're quite a few. Thanks in advance to whomever can help me out!

I'm an 18 yr old college student who goes to ohio state. I hang out with a group of about 10 to 15 people. Around 2 months ago I started to really get to know one of the girls well. She would compliment me on occasion and i would smile and thank her. As the past two months have progressed we've been seeing a lot of each other just sittin around conversating about anything that can come to mind. We watched a lot of movies together and segreated ourselves from the group when hanging out to talk to each other.
As of right now, and around 1 month ago, I began to become intrested in her as more than friends, but after seeing her turn a guy down right after he said, "I really like you a lot" i am extremely hesitant to let her know how i feel. Yet i feel that it is implied that i like her because we are really flirtous; however, she has two other guys who are into her. They are both decent competition, but she is overall confused about everything.
She's told me a lot of things about who she likes and what she wants in a guy. They kinda lean toward my personality and how our friendship fits her description, but not directly. She says she expects two people in a relationship to have the foundation of a friendship before moving on. I've been thinking about asking her to come home with me for a weekend, because i have to drive back bymyself to college and i'd really like someone to talk to.
My questions are... The anatomy of our relationship is strictly friends right now but i believe affection is implied. So what should i do to progress things? I've witnessed being straightforward is a turnoff to her... so my conclusion as of now is time.

And is it too early to ask this friend back to my home, because she's never been to my state or experienced "country culture." And could it be taken as more serious than wanted as in "Mom this is my mate for life" type of obligation, because i really just want to get to know her better, while she sees where i come from and how i lived back home.

eightball61
02-28-2005, 01:20 PM
You both have a tight bond and thats a great start to a good relationship or friendship. Right now you are stuck on what this whole thing really is or could be. I know you dont want to ruin the bond you both have but if you never share your feelings to her then latter on down the road you may be kicking yourself for never saying anything.

Life is about taking risk and chances and you need to take some here. I know you are afraid of her actions but maybe try asking her during a normal conversation what she think about you. If you like what you here then proceed to ask her what would she think if you both were a couple.

You both have conversations about this kind of stuff and its not a bad idea to slide stuff in so you can get some background. This may be a better approach rather than just coming out and asking her out. Its all about the risk though and you should give it a try so you dont regret it latter.

countryboi
02-28-2005, 09:11 PM
Thanks Eightball for the reply. I see your point... I'm thinking about kinda hinting up to what i'll finally ask her... two weeks from now i have something planned for the two of us if all goes well. She's of chinese decent so i'm going to cook a traditional chinese cuisine and take her out to a movie. A question i have off on the side is, should i take her out to the movie theatre or have her come to my dorm room to sit and watch a movie alone on like a bean bag... us both on a big bean bag seems like it would be good for physical connection but i don't know if i would be exactly rushing it and how speical it would make her feel in contrast to taking her out to the theatre.
I think this night i have in mind will convey my feelings rather than say them... hopefully i can get my mind sorted out sometime!

eightball61
02-28-2005, 09:22 PM
Just keep the hinting in progress then work your magic from there. The idea about seeing a movie at your dorm is not a bad idea but she may not feel comfortable with it. Just bring it up and see what she says. If she doesn't dig it then recover it with going out to the theater. You have something good going here but the big question is whether if she sees you as just a friend or more.....??

Pamelina
02-28-2005, 11:03 PM
What a nice idea--making a special Chinese dinner for this girl. Shows you are being thoughtful and that you care about her. And she'll definitely take notice, I'm sure.

I agree about being subtle, though, til you can see how she feels. You know how you feel but figuring out where another person is coming from, if they don't tell you outright, can really take some time.

Rich
03-03-2005, 12:45 PM
Being that you were in ear and eye shot of her turning down that other guy, maybe she did it because she wants to be with you? Did you ever think of that?

Dude, life's too short to wait. Just go for it. Why can't you still lay your foundation of friendship while you're dating? Who is to say that you need to become friends before you date?

As you can see on this site in previous postings, that being friends first doesn't necceasarily mean that the relationship will work. So screw that thought process.

Right now you're both young and experiencing life. Dating is a big part of that. Just go for it. What's the worst that can happen? She turns you down? So what, there will be others. You're not looking for marriage right now anyway, so get your courage up and ask her out.

Rich
www.awesomerelationships.com

countryboi
03-07-2005, 06:42 AM
Just a small update on my situation. I asked her out on two dates, one out to dinner and one back to my home. She had "plans" all week with her group project and felt that going home was invading "my personal space". I came back to college today and talked to her, she's going "out" with one of the guys that currently like her, my competition, but she says it's only friendly. She explained herself before i had a chance to ask so i suppose that's a good thing, but I'm on the brink of giving up. i just kinda got a little frustrated after hearin about her goin out with this guy... because she "seems" to never have time for me. I don't know if she's just avoiding goin out with me or what, but i believe i'm going to settle for being friends with her.

eightball61
03-07-2005, 01:41 PM
Dont give up yet....Ask her out in advance for a few more dates and if she just comes up with exuses then it will be ok to give up then.