My relationships a mess...I need help pls

[Miss G]

Im in a long distance relationship, its been 8 months now. Whenever I see him, hes always getting , the first thing he wants is . He's more conerned bout getting into bed and sometimes i do feel pressurized. Like I couple of times Ive said as a joke, your using me and he laughs and has a scarcastic reaction saying...'of course, I only want you for ' and I dont know if its a joke. Sometimes I think to myself. like when I see him, cant we just go to the cinema or go out and watch a film, or just be in his arms. I do text him quite a bit and try to call him, but sometimes he never has time for me and always tells me to call back later and whenever i spk 2 him on fone, msn messenger or by text, its always a two minute conversation. This is wha makes me ask myself, am I bein used?

I was upfront and told him that I thought there was too much intimacy in the relationship, that I felt hurt and used. He came up with the same answers as I expected he said that i only see you now and again and that 'we do all the talking on the fone' I used I jst wna b able to go out and he said that 'wel to be honest I have got much cash to blow around' Also that if he was usin me he would only ask to see me or ring me wen he wantd buh i said thats not the case because seeems like wha is happenin nw lyk im bein used etc... dnt knw whether its the truth or a pile of excuses...

Yesterday we had an argument...he said 'why dont u say i love u anymore? Dont you love me nomre? Feels like you dnt want me, miss me or love me nomre? Y do i always have 2 b the first to say i love you etc?' buh the fing is i didnt want 2 say i love you? because im not sure anymore :( I dnt want 2 hurt him by saying it? How do i knw if im in love? :confused:

Whenever im wiv him i feel like im bein used and that he just wants me for my body and im hurtin and wen im not wiv him on a brk it hurts so much cos i cnt stop finkin bout him and just end up in tears?

help pls :(

[eightball61]

This is a good reason why I always like to repeat myself when I tell posters that they should take things slower into a relationship. I am a strong believer if you wait some to have it will show truelly what the person wants. People that just want will pressure it rather than wait and go with the other persons flow. Its ok if someone was to ask but pushing is a different thing.

Typically in relationships both partners show the best of themselves at first to get a good impression. The real person doesn't actually come out until you both settle into the relationship after sometime. I truelly believe it best to wait all together on moving into . There are other ways to share intimacy just than .

In your case though you have allready giving yourself up but if you wish to take it slower then just be serious about your demands and if he truelly respected you then he would compromise and respect your wishes.

[Planescape]

A long distance relationship is tough thing to maintain my g/f and I met online and we started going out after 9 months of knowing each other. After we started going out we'd see each other 2-3 days out of 2 weeks at most and during those days there'd be a fair amount of intimacy but there was always time to go out, to talk and relax together. It can be done but you might need to press the issue and tell him your concerns but make sure he knows you're being serious and that you're worried.
The fact that he's getting agitated about you not saying 'I love you' etc is a good indication (in my view anyway) that he does want you for more than just . Another thing to go against that he's using you is if you were going to use someone for would you really do it in a long distance relationship? You'd try and get someone closer so it can be more regular.

While it doesn't sound like he makes a lot of time for you two to talk while you're apart that could be down to him keeping himself busy so he doesn't miss you.

Tell him you'd like to calm down the a little and just relax or whatever it is you'd like to do otherwise. If he loves then hopefully he should listen and take it on board.

[xxsirvtecxx]

sorry to say, but this is just my opinion....and this is exactly what i dont want my current g/f ending up with but anyway...

Your guy is only interested in your body sorry to say...the majority not all but the majority of guys just want and more of it...the more you give it to us the more we expect it....ya know what i mean, but by all means im nothing like that, but just would like you to know that he's just using you for your body...and it seems like he's turning everything on you like your the wrong one for not saying i love you and what not..i think this guy is pathetic...but then again i dont know the whole story..but hey, thats what i think and you deserve someone that respects you...loves you, and just doesn't want you for just your body but looks past all that and into your heart....personally i think you should cut him off for a little bit..meaning if you really love him and he loves and RESPECTS you he can go without for awhile...

[smackie9]

How old is he? If he's 19 or younger, that all they can think about. Date an older guy that lives closer to you that will spoil you and just hold you. Stop wasting you time with this guy.

[Miss G]

Thanks for your advice everyone, found your opinions useful...