Some say it's normal, some say it's not...

[Beachykeen]

Hi,

I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 20, soon to be 21, we've been in a relationship for almost 3 years. I consider us to have a healthy life. We began to have about 8 months into our relationship, because I wanted to wait. About 10 months ago he got the internet, and since then he has been frequently looking at sites. Before the internet, he didn't have any o's. So at first I considered it a stage where he was just excitied to be able to look at it because he now had access. When I initially found out he was looking at , I looked at his history once in a while, and saw that he was looking at about 5 days a week. It bothered me, and I confronted him, he got insulted because I said it was gross. Which I realize I shouldnt have said. But why look there for when he has me right here. I know he is attracted to me, as I am to him. Currently we have about 2-3 times a week. Which is less than it used to be, but I'm happy with the amount. Anyways, about a month ago, he stopped looking on sites because he has about 3 downloaded ones. So now I don't know how often he looks at them...which bothers me because I don't know how much is too much or unhealthy. I ask him once in a while, and as far as I know, he honest about it. He'll even look at it before I come over to see him, and that's when I'm like "well I don't want to have now, cause you've already done that today" and it's just not the same...I hope I'm not over reacting, cause I'd hate for this to be turned into something bigger....anyways, any opinions would help. Am I overreacting and worrying for nothing? I just think is dirty...so looking at it once ina while is fine, but not all the time, espically when you don't have to cause he has me to have with...

[eightball61]

You are not over reacting and this is just your opinion about these types of sites. I will say from a male point of view it has been known to be normal for men to continue to look at . I personally see no wrong in it myself unless it runs into the life. If he is doing self pleasure he needs to compromise and give it to you also. I personally also like the real thing but will look from time to time on the net.

There is no wrong doing in looking at these things but different people have different opinions. You particular dont like it so I dont suggest you both both it together to spruce things up but that is an option to explore. You can explain to him more about how you feel but just let him know you dont want it to run into the time.

[smackie9]

He's 20, he's going to look at and maybe go to the peelers with his buddies. That's what young guys do. Stop worrying some much. He's not comparing you to those girls in the . To him it's just looking at body parts. Hey, you're almost 21. Plan a ladies night out for some male strippers, just for you birthday girl!

[Rich]

Maybe this is telling....and maybe it isn't. Why do you think that is gross and disgusting?

You say that you have pretty regularly and that's good. But what kind of ? Was he your first and vice versa?

Maybe he feels like your life is boring, which could account for the slow down in the amount of times per week that you do it.

One might be able to guess that maybe because you think that is gross or disgusting....that maybe you're not into trying different things with your BF. Maybe that's why he's checking out those sites.

How's your life and don't just think in terms of quantity? How's the quality? What's your view of ? Do you enjoy it or tolerate it for your BF's sake? Are you opne to trying different things.

If you're open ually? Then you might want to leave a note on his PC telling him that he can do more than look if he was to come to the bedroom. :-)

isn't gross or dirty. Let him have fun with you and he won't look elsewhere. Fun....up until a point that it's ok with you both. You both need to be comfortable with what is taking place.

Rich
www.awesomerelationships.com

[inquisitive]

My personal view on is that I don't want my SO to watch it/look at it all the time. I don't mind watching it together, I like watching it together once in a while. What I would be upset about is that he's looking at it and, by the sounds of what you said, masturbating to it before you come over. My viewpoint is should not come before with your SO.

If he knows you're coming over he shouldn't need to look at, and to, .

Other than that Rich had some good suggestions, and questions.

[Rich]

Sounds like he might have some type of fetish likes.

Are the sites that he visits the same type? Are they specific...like blonde, midget chicks with one leg? LOL

I'm being funny of course, but you get the point. Maybe he has fantasies about the topic that's taking place on the sites that he goes to.

Everyone has fantasies. Might be worth checking into and asking. Asking in a non threatening or laughing at way, of course.

Rich