I am close to giving up

[scarby558]

I have been with my fiance for 3.5 years. I love him deeply. We have been engaged for 2 years. When I try to talk about a wedding he decides he does not want to discuss it. He has some problems with his father. His father has been married like 3 or 4 times and he does not want to make the same mistakes as his dad. I get it. But he won't do anything to help it. I don't know what to do.
Our problems extend much further than just that though. You see, he lives in South America and I am from the USA. The US gov won't let him come to the USA. Hence, I am stressing more about marriage so he can come to meet my friends and family. So I am 21 and I have been spending the last 3 years of my life traveling back and forth from the USA to Colombia. I would like to finish school someday.
He is an electronic engineer... and he is waiting for a job in Saudi Arabia or somewhere where there is oil because he wants to work in the oil fields. He recently informed me that with this kind of job... I can't go with him and he could be gone anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple years. They don't tell them. I told him that I can't keep living my life like this. I have plans. I want to finish school. I asked him to make a choice and he chose his job. I love this man so much. I feel like I will die if I walk away. I don't know what to do.
Can someone tell me something... I just don't know what to do. I know I should leave him. I just don't know how.

[smackie9]

Read between the lines......he is basically telling you this isn't going to work. You both have very different priorities......he's not coming right out and saying it but he is leaving the task of ending the relationship on you. Put your feelings aside and take a good look at his attitude towards this....he is choosing his career over you. As heart breaking as it is, you do what's best for you and your future.

[daygoballa]

it's obviously that he's not in love with you. he didn't even consider making something work. He's not the one for you. If he has any feelings for you, he would definitly make an effort to make it work. you are only 21, go live your life. Go finish school and be with someone who actually wants to be with you. I was with my ex for 6.5 yrs on and off. She left me last week for someone she met 3 wks. I am 26 now and I at times regret wasted all these yrs with her but that was the choice i made. Make a smart decision with your head and not your heart. Good luck!

[adoodle]

I don't see how you can even be together with all the travel to see each other. If it were me, I'd opt for someone accessible and closer to home rather than this very difficult situation and long time spans, costs involved with this.
His future plans don't even include you.. so what else is there? nothing.

Guess you could look at it like this: he's just not that into you.

There should be no upset, just accept it and move on. There are plenty of men around and you should be able to find one better than that one.