I'm Confused!!!

[blark41]

Last Thanksgiving, (I was living in Florida at the time) I went to visit my brother in Georgia. He had invited a guy he knew at work to join us for the day since his family lives in Colorado. My brother and his wife spent most of the day cooking and most of the night fighting... So they weren't around much. Anyway, his friend and I had, which was agreed to be, one of the greatest nights for both of us. We stayed up ALL night just talking. I really felt like we have this really great connection and I am really into him. The problem is: I am back to living in Ohio and he is still in Georgia, so its not just a 6 hour drive anymore.. its more like 12, which makes things difficult. We talk contantly and he has mentioned more than once that I should move to Georgia. It would be so easy if I could just pick up and leave, but we are not officially together, so I am not sure what to think.

Also, we are both young. I am 20 and he is 19.. So apart of me is afraid to jump into a relationship like this so young, but there is something really good there and I want nothing more than to be with him. He is being deployed to Iraq in December (with my brother), so thats really hard too. I have a idea of what thats like since this will be my brothers second tour to Iraq. I think I am crazy, because I can actually imagine having a future with this guy.

I'm not sure what to do!!!! Any advice, PLEASE!

[eightball61]

This is a really hard one to reply too and that is because any decision you make could be the decision to change your life. I really don't have much to offer here but to offer my cents here I wouldn't make the move. Sure you've talked to him and you see a future but you should let it develope once he's out of the service. I say this because if you don't know anyone in GA or have anyhting going for you there then you'll be very lonely especially one he leaves for duty. So whats the point of moving when no matter when he deploys you'll both be apart, right?

[blark41]

Yeah, probably not the best idea to move to Georgia.. Then do I pursue a relationship with him and do the long distance thing? How do I have that kind of conversation with him? I mean, we haven't talked about it and I want to, but I dont know how to bring that up.

[eightball61]

This is an area that I can try to help but it all really boils down to your decision...

Either if you move to GA or not when he leaves then it will belong distance. If you get the chance read this sites forum called Long Distance Relationships. You will find they are not easy but it might be easier for you since you both have not had a close connection as of yet aside from a few nights. It won't hurt to try but you'll both need a lot of trust in each other inorder to make it last.

[PrincessB]

I moved to another country for my ex. We were young, inexperienced, and it ended badly. I have to tell you that it was the most amazing experience of my entire life! It was the coolest most exhilarating thing that I've ever done but I also made sure to have a way home in the event that I needed to leave.

He was a perfect gentleman and treated me like an absolute queen. He stood when I entered the room, did everything for me and wanted to give me everything in the world. Whatever made me happy nothing was too much to ask. He took me on European vacations for my birthday, we traveled so he could take me to his favorite rollercoaster parks because he knew I loved rides, and he even moved to my home country for me. We had planned an amazing life together. He took me to his favorite Gothic cathedral in Czech Republic where he proposed at the top of the castle steps because the tower he wanted to do it in was closed. He went through hell to get the ring but that was no problem for him and it was straight out of a fairytale.

That's the nice part but the reality is that he has an obscure mental illness, type I diabetes that he didn't control because he used it to manipulate the people around him when things went sour between us, and after we became engaged he became physically abusive. I had to stay at a women's shelter and tried to leave him several times but he physically would not allow me to and would make me feel bad for leaving him so helpless.

I was a fifteen hour flight from my friends and family. He took my phone away, wouldn't let me go out without him, refused to let me talk to people unless he was there to monitor the conversation, I even had to call an ambulance when he threatened to kill himself and did a good job of faking an attempt because I was going to leave him.

The reason I'm sharing this with you is because this man was an upstanding, charismatic, highly educated, highly intelligent, and amazing guy. We shared a strong connection and couldn't live without each other and I am lucky to get out with my life.

Do what you want but make sure you have the means to get home in a worst case scenario because I did and it wasn't enough.

[blark41]

Wow! I really appreacite the advice!!!!!!