Ever felt like I am feeling now?

[exeter guy]

In the middle of february, the girl I was in love with felt strongly that me and her should be just mates, and since then I haven't been feeling great. It's a long distance relationship, we've never met, and she decided that she didn't love me last July, after we had met at the start of June through the net.

She said that the reason she wanted to break up then was because she thought we were going too fast and that she wasn't ready for another relationship, after her ex had cheated on her. But in February, she said that in her future she couldn't see us being anything more than just mates. I was willing to even move away to be closer to her, and I loved her with all my heart, but now there is a hole right through my heart.

I've tried to move on but I really can't. It's upsetting me a lot, and today I heard that she was with someone last night and they gave each other hand jobs. That upset me a bit, as I still have strong feelings for her. I can't help the way I feel about her, and I know she only wants to be mates and I want her to be happy, but it's really hard. She keeps talking about other guys and stuff, but when I offered to go and see her, everytime she kept putting it off.

I don't want to upset her, but i'm finding it really hard to move on and I miss the way that we used to be in contact with each other a lot, but now, because she's "changed", she doesn't want me. I would have changed myself and done anything to have her back, but I know i've gotta move on. It's heartbreaking though.... :(

[eightball61]

She said that the reason she wanted to break up then was because she thought we were going too fast and that she wasn't ready for another relationship, (


How can you be going fast when you never met?


It may have been fast for her on the recent break up of a bad relationship but it hold to hard a LDR with not meeting the person you are saying "i love you to". She musthave a lot going on right now in her mind from the breakup, the cheating, you being so far away, ect. It is healthier for her to meet someone more close by because she will be able to share feelings not only by typing them out but having the warmth of someone close.

Breakups are never easy and you have learned that. This is a girl that you have never met and what are the chances of meeting her? You are attracted to her from words and not physical contact. You have not been able to expirience a real relationship because you both have never been close in contact to hug eachother.

LDW relationship can work but when dealing with someone that you never met makes those stats go down for success. This is all about dealing with it though. Its hard but your mind will eventually let go and move on. You can't just snap your finger and expect things to be ok for you. You know this though and you have to just deal with things right now. The human mind is a powerful force and like I said one day you will look upn this and just laugh it off while you are with someone you can share true intimacy with.

[exeter guy]

I kept asking whether we could meet up, but she kept putting it off and putting it off. I can't just let go of my feelings for her, and if i could turn the clock back to june when I first spoke to her, i would appreciate the relationship more and would have put more into it.

I spoke to a mate of hers tonight and he fancies her too. He wants to ask her out and i told him to make her happy, but at the end of our conversation, he said something that really upset me - he said that he was told that she likes him more than me but - when i've spoke to her before, she said that her and her mate would only ever be mates.

It also seems like she's got over this very quickly, while nearly a month on, I am still feeling the pain. :( I would do absolutely anything to be with her, I was even thinking about moving away so I could be closer to her earlier in the year.

All my thoughts lead straight back to her though. I want her so badly, I need her so badly, and I can't think of spending my life with anyone else. I would do absolutely anything to get her back, and she deserves to be happy, but I want to make her happy.

I'm really trying to move on, but i'm finding it virtually impossible and i've been crying a lot over the past month. :(

[MissCheivious]

I'm not fully understanding this situation. :confused: You two never met or you met just once? How many times did you physically see her? Were you two intimate? Are you both close in age? Maybe if I know a bit more, I could help you out a little more but so far, it looks like you just need to move on. I know that's easier said than done but, if you're talking to her friends about her and they're telling you conflicting things she's said, she might be a liar. Again, if I have a little more info, I could give you some better advice.

[exeter guy]

We've never met, and i've never phisically seen her, mainly because she kept putting off me going to see her. We were intimate over the phone and by thext, and i'm 1 1/2 years older than her. It's very hard to get over her, and i'm thinking about maybe not talking to her for a while.

[MissCheivious]

No offense but, how can you be in love with someone you've never met? I can understand if you have a strong friendship with someone you've met online or spoke to over the phone but not to the point that you're saying you're at. All you have right now is the persona she's created for you over the phone or in a picture. That's not the accurate person and you don't actually know her. Why do you think she kept putting off to meet you in person? Did she ever give you a reason? That right there is a big warning sign that she might not be all she's tried to convince you that she is. I'm not belittling you for falling for someone who you've spoken to and have a good friendship with but, you need to seriously look at all the signs she's given you. She doesn't want even want to meet you. How is that a relationship? You also said she was intimate with some other guy! What could that tell you? She's willing to see other people and have intimate relations with them but, she cares about you but won't meet you? That doesn't sound right. You need to seriously consider even speaking to this woman again. There are so many things wrong here that I can't even believe you'd even speak to her, period! It's your choice on what you'll do (of course), so whatever choice you make, good luck to you. :)

[exeter guy]

She never gave me a reason why we never met, and was willing to meet me until last month, when she said that she had something on the weekend I was due to see her. It's hard to explain how much I care about her, and how hard it is for me to let go. She's a lovely girl with a great personality, but I'm gonna stop talking to her for a while for my own sake, else if I find out she's with the guy who spoke to me last night, gloating about that she liked him more than me, well i'm gonna be totally heartbroken. She says they're only mates, and I want to trust her, but in my mind, i'm not sure whether i can. The reason I wanted to meet up with her was so we could get to know each other a little better and find out more about each other.

As the song says, don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?

Thanks for your advice anyway.

[eightball61]

You have to just except the proper thing to make this relationship work is not here. She puts off seeing you and other things on top of that. My answer to this is jst move on and date someone closer like I stated before. I know you have deep feeling for her over the net but the physical touch of a partner is much different. Don't use the excuse you can't get anyone else because that is bull....You can meet up with someone. Sometimes it takes longer for others but you will meet up with someone close. You want a relationship to grow and she is in this just to have someone to share feelings with while being home at night. Not a healthy situation for you...

[exeter guy]

We spoke last night and I asked her whether she wanted to meet up as mates, and she was fine with it, so we're going to meet up in the summer. I think it could be a chance for the both of us to get to know each other a bit better, but the problem is that my feelings for her could grow stronger. Right now i'm thinking about isolating her for a while and hopefully that could help me get over her.

[eightball61]

Just keep everything as a friendship stand point until you know for sure that you both will meet. You have the right idea about getting over her but right now its doesn't look to promising for anything to happen out of this. Try reading you post all over and see what we see. There is no point in holding onto something you can't have.

[exeter guy]

Thanks for your advice.

I think that you are right, and I shall try and move on. I'm going out to a party on Saturday night so I expect I shall meet some new people there, and who knows what might come out of it???

Maybe this could be the remedy for me to get over her...

[eightball61]

Let us know how Satuday goes and please be safe :p

[exeter guy]

Will do. Can't wait. :D

[CalistaClap]

Be happy that you never actually met face to face. That way you don't have the lingering memories.

This is obviously something that wasn't ment to be. If she keeps putting off seeing you, even as friends, then it's best that you accept it and move on.

Maybe cutting contact will be the best soluation. At least for a few weeks.

[exeter guy]

UPDATE: Saturday's been cancelled as too many people found out about it and there wouldn't have been enough room, and I fell out with the person who was supposed to be hosting the party as she said I was having a go at her. Man I things up a lot. :(

I also had a dream last night about my ex. I'm trying to get her out of my head but it's really hard and I just can't do it. I am trying, and I thought meeting new people would help, but it looks like I won't be meeting new people for a while. :(

[eightball61]

The party just wasn't meant to happen but just maybe still go out with a group of guys to a local pub on sat.

[exeter guy]

I'm going pub on friday night with my best mates - should be cool, and i'm looking forward to it. Maybe it'll help me take my mind off things, having a few drinks and playing pool.

[eightball61]

I'm going pub on friday night with my best mates - should be cool, and i'm looking forward to it. Maybe it'll help me take my mind off things, having a few drinks and playing pool.


It will be a nice time....When you go out try to have fun and enjoy the male bonding and see what happens fromt here. Have a good weekend :)

[exeter guy]

Cheers. I need it after the week i've had.

[eightball61]

Well say cheers to that when you are toasting with friends :p