Confused?

[Painfullyinlove]

Ok here is the stroy summed up. I met this girl back in November. We met while we were both in relationships with other people. Well my relationship was reaching and end soon anyway so i went ahead and broke it off. This girl was having problems with her relationship and we had been talking to each other about our problems. It kind of brought us closer together and we decided to give our relationship a try. Well i am starting to think that was a big mistake.

I have gotten over my X and still believe that that was the right thing to do. But she is haveing second thoughts and is looking back thinking what if she would have given him another chance. We have broken up twice before and are on the verge of breaking up again right now.

I am very understanding because this was her first true love and she had no time to get over him before we started dating. She now says that she is confused because she loves both of us and she knows that one of us is the one she is supposed to be with but she doesn't know which one. I feel that she is the one for me and i love her very much but i can not take much more of this.

My question is what should i do. Should i stand here and wait it out hopeing that she will get closure from her previous relationship. Or should i just give up and walk away. I know that giveing up is not what i want to do but sometimes i feel it would be so much easier. I know she loves me and i know i love her but i am confused as to what i should do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[eightball61]

My question is what should i do.



You should do what you mind is telling you to do. A few errors I noticed to the start is that you both started off way to soon into things and thats most likely why it brought things to the way they are now. You both have broken up twice before and you stated that it may happen again. Personally I think it be best to let her go so she can figure out what she really wants. What she needs is space and time.

He mind still wonders off about with the other guy and you at times. He mind has to be fully denicated to one person. Right now thats not the way things stand and thats why space is needed.

[Painfullyinlove]

Ok so i should give her space and time. Well the past two times we broke up i have offered her all the time in the world and all the space. I did not call her she calls me when she feels comfortable. The problem is was that she was calling me everyday. And then 4 days later she tells me that she has made up her mind and i am the one that she wants to be with.

Just a second ago after i posted the first message she called. We had agreed that we would talk only once today and that would be later tonight. But she said that she couldnt' take it anymore and had to call me. I dont want to be mean to her but i also want to do what it takes to give her her space and time so that things may work out later.

What advice do you have of giving her her space without being mean about it?

[MissCheivious]

I'm sorry to be blunt about this but she needs more than space. She needs to be decisive and final. She's using you as a safety net and that's not fair to you. She knows whether she made the right choice by breaking up with her b/f to be with you or not. Her problem is that she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants the new relationship with you but she also wants the option of being able to go back to her ex just in case it doesn't work out with you. Believe me when I say this, I've been there and I've done that. The best thing you can do is give her complete and total space which means don't talk to her. You're taking yourself out of the equation and her choice is made for her. If she sees her life completley without you and she can't stand it, she will have made up her mind. If she choose you, you have to put your foot down and tell her to stick to her choice and be mature. It's pretty common for this to happen but like I said, it's not fair to you. You basically know what you want out of life and if you have too many options (as in her case), you get confused and greedy. Don't question this as anything except her being unsure of herself, not you. This is her problem, not yours and your job (if you want this to work out), is to take the matter into your own hands and take control. Don't talk to her once a day or see her or anything of that nature until she can make a clear choice and that choice is you and you ONLY. Good luck. :)

[eightball61]

And then 4 days later she tells me that she has made up her mind and i am the one that she wants to be with.

?

Thats what I mean.....its enough of these mind games. If she can handle this anymore then its in your best interest just to move on. Its not doing you any good staying with her and getting confused all the time. Try this for once..."Do what you think is healthy to you".