A Break up thats been hell

[Herbert]

so heres my story just want u guys to give me some advice and what u guys predict in the future (big but worth reading)

so about a month ago i was dating a girl that i had been dating for 2 years and a half... we used to argue alot and what not and when i would talkto her on the fone she would annoy the crap outta me or say some stupid crap to piss me off. so i would hang up and be like i'll call u later and she was be like AAHHH NOW BLAH BLAH and then would keep calling and calling till my parents tell her im not here.

Then the next day we would be all good again....so anyways back to the story one day shes all up on me kissin me in school. at the end of the day i offered her a ride cuz it was snowing and my sisters bf was offering one and she was like nah i wanna talk ....and i was like but its cold and snowy whatever so when i got home i called her and we talked for a lil bit and then my friend comes over b/c he wanted to put some songs on his ipod so i was like "i'll call u back" so after i put a couple of songs on his mp3 i call her back and she doesnt pick up. i leave messeges and everything just str8 blowing up her house fone and cell. so then im worried u know then the next day shes online and im like hey why did u pick up when i called and she said she "didnt hear it" so i was like wtf then she told me she wanted to tell me something online and i was like no call me and she was like no i wanna tell u hear and then i was like call me or its over so then she called me and u know she breaks up with me .... and i usually dont cry for anyreason but when she told me i started ballin crying like a baby and her reason were that we argue too much and im too jealous and i was like wtf i can change blah blah u know.

Then i get into a deep depression and i start crying with my whole family and shit. so the next day i was thinkin of going over her house and having a lil chat to see whats up and see if i can get her back. so i go over there and while we were talking she wouldnt look at my face and i was like look at me and she would u know look away then i told her that u know ive done alot of thinking and i wanna make u happy and i wanna make things right and so she just says i dont want that i wanna try new things and im like what the hell happend to "i dont see myself with anyone else than u" and shes didnt responde so i start crying in front of her and begging for her on my knees (no bullshit) i looked like a dog beggin for a bone and she used to talk about getting married (later on)and im only 17 and shes 15. so that shit didnt work so i have the attitude like u know "im not givin up" cuz i love her to much.

so a couple of days go by and i had an idea to give her a dozen of roses and a card. so i asked my english teacher to walk in the middle of her 2nd period math class and deliver that shit to her.....then during lunch she gives me a hug says thank you and what not and we started talking and she would ask me all these stupid questions like "what are u doing for valentines" and i was like ".....nothing..." she was trying to make me jealous i can tell and she would say "oh im going to dinner with a couple of friends blah blah " u know trying to act like shes doing shit without me and so i was like cool and then i asked her so what u think about us? and shes like im not changing my mind......that broke my heart so i went to my counslers room and cried for about an hour and was just like it . so then a week comes by and she starts buggin me online telling me what shes gunna do blah blah and im like trying to do reverse phsy u know act like i dont care and then she asks me "are we friends?" and i was like "why should we be friend if we had something more than friendship" and she was like "well i kinda like this guy" so after i heard that i got soo worked up and i felt like the devil was inside me and i scared my mom cuz i was going crazy through out my house screaming why why why and i punched the shit out of a door that my hand went throu it.....so then im really pissed and im like it she needs to die so i tell her "dont talk to me, dont look at me ,dont call me" and she was like "why" and i just logg offline. For the rest of that whole week i was so depressed and felt so lonely and u know i didnt eat AT All I LOST 40 POUNDS in a month....(till now) and i would having butterflies b4 school b4 classes and b4 lunch because i see her everyday and u know everytime i bring myself up someone talks about her or i gotta see her... so then yeah i then i would hear bullshit from a friend of mine that she likes this guy and shit and im like look man i dont wanna her that.

lol its alot but its worth reading cuz now it gets intresting
so my mom sees that im gettin really skinny and im gettin really sad so she takes me to a therapist........lemme tell u that shit didnt help me for shit. so anyways u know after the past few weeks i would see her and u know i would crumble into lil peices just waiting to get picked up and so a couple of days ago my friend talks about her and im like wtf man dont talk about her man and hes like ur still not over her and im like no...... and hes like why are u so pressed over her u didnt even have and i was like u know what ramon we did and lots of it. and so i shut him up and so then he went off asking her to make sure i wasnt lieing and she comes and shows me the im and calls me an asshole and im like " u ramon(my friend) told me all about ur lil guy that uve been talkin to for 8months behide my back." and then she says all this shit and u know alot of cussing and calling each other es and then i express the why i feel about her and i tell her that i hate her and i love her at the same time blah blah and then she goes "why are u trying to make me jealous huggin up all those gurls " and i was like why do u care u broke up with me remember . and then she was like dont do that infront of me and i kept saying why do u care. and then she was like what about u and tellin me about u liking some guy and she was like "i only did that to make u jealous" and im like wtf . to make the long story short she tells me shes gunna call this guy that shes been talking to for a while to chill and im like "oh ur gunna suck his arnt u?" and she gets all mad and so then we end off at "dont ever talk to me again" and so i felt really good makin her sad cuz she was like "im not talking to u anymore this convo is over im upset im gunna go call "the guy" to make me happy" and i was like i could make u happier but u didnt want me. so anyways yeah thats whats going on now where not speaking to each other when i see her i still get butterflies and shit and when i mess with gurls she stares and everything
.....i pray everynight to god to let me get over her and everything but i love her too much u know easier said than done......some of my friends are tellin me that shes so used to me that the guy that shes with shes not gunna like and that she might regret and come back to me ......but i dunno i mean i still want her we were perfect when we didnt fight and stuff and its hard to let go ur frist love u know but i dunno what i should do any suggestions or predictions? it would help

[MissCheivious]

Hmmm....this is easy. Let her go! You won't do that but that's my advice. Do you really think you could be with her after you know she's been talking to some other guy behind your back? You're not even sure if she's done anything and you're already wanting her to die. You're both young so I can understand why you feel like you're never going to get over her but, you will. Trying to make her jealous isn't going to help you get over her. The best thing you can do is if you truly want her back, ignore her. That means, no phone calls and no chatting online or through friends. That's if you're serious about getting her back. If she calls you at home, and you're there, act like you're not. After a couple of weeks of her trying to call you with no answer, she'll make more of an effort. She'll use the friends excuse to keep you in her life and continue to make you jealous, if you want her back, tell her that "yes" you can be friends but DON'T go out of your way to talk to her and let her come to you. Don't try to make her jealous, it will only blow up in your face. When she tries to make you jealous, tell her you're happy that's she found someone (you don't have to mean it!) and since she's your friend, you wish her the best. That will flip her out. Like I said, you should let this go but I know you won't so, if you do the things I said above, you should at least be able to mess with her head a bit and get her thinking. You have to be cool and collected and that's easier said than done. It's up to you. When you get pissed about her attempts to make you jealous, just remember that it will make her more upset if you wish her the best, even if inside you're really mad. Good luck.

[Herbert]

thanks for the advice i will be trying that ...but u know its hard to just let go when i was with her for so long and with her like all the time but ever since i blew up on her she hasn't tried to talk to me

[MissCheivious]

Give her some time, she'll want to talk to you again. Don't bring up any of the past when you do talk to her. Focus on the present and like I said, be happy for her no matter how you feel inside for now. :)

[Rich]

Herbet-

What you need to try and do is to step back and realize that you're only 17, you're in high school and that you have a whole big world in front of you that you're just now going to start heading into.

What you also need to realize is that you don't love this girl but that you're infatuated with her instead. There is a difference.

True love incorpoarates respect, honesty, maturity, trust, acceptance, openness and equality, plus so much more.

You and your GF are still young and in no way come near to having anything close to a mature and loving relationship. You two were infatuated with each other and you thought it was love.

On her end maybe her infatuation with you had worn thin. Maybe it was the way that you treated her or your temper. You comments about wanting to kill her, having her die and going on a rampage through your house, are scary.

My advice to you is to realize that your life will go on. That you're going to date many women and to let go of your anger towards this girl. Just let her go and move on.

IMO you should work on who you are as a person. Work on your maturity, intelligence, temper and the way that you communicate. College women won't tolerate a "kid".

Life goes on and you'll be ok. This relationship has taught you some things. Learn from it. Learn from all of your relationships.

Rich

[eightball61]

I know that she would be hard to let go but its the right choice. You have bent over backwards for this girl and nothing has changed. You have done many sweet things like getting her roses and nothing is still appreciated by her.

You are in the mindset where you just want to have someone and grow a future relationship with them. Her mindset differs because she is still young and not ready to settle yet. You are still young yourself but more mature than she is or most people your age. You soon will be 18 though and graduated and then you will enter the real world. Between the ages of 18-21 you will be in a new world of meeting new people. You will meet new groups or partner of interest. Try exploring to see what falls in you lap. Right now you want something that you can't have and its making the situation that much worse.

[Herbert]

yes i understand that but during lunch when im minding my own buisness talkin to some of my friends that are girls my friends always tell me shes staring at me to see every move i make and thats like confusing me u know.

[smackie9]

Her staring at you means that there's a part of her that hasn't let go of you. You both are going through relationship withdrawal. Remember, with each passing day, you will think less and less of her. The day will come when you don't think of her at all. It's hard to believe at this time, but you are still mourning the loss of love. The future may seem uncertain with out her, but I can guarantee you, down the road, that you will meet the girl of your dreams. I think you need some time to focus on yourself and build some new friendships. Surrounding yourself with friends is the best medicine. :)

[eightball61]

yes i understand that but during lunch when im minding my own buisness talkin to some of my friends that are girls my friends always tell me shes staring at me to see every move i make and thats like confusing me u know.

Friends can setup for a lot of confusion but what you need to do is mind your own. If they tell you or talk to you about her then just tell them you dont want to talk about it or hear about it. They are not maikng anything better by saying things. You need to make a decision that is right for you on the confusion. This girl has not giving you hope yet after all your efforts. If she is playing hard to get then she is doing it the wrong way. Its time to just let her go and its her lost.

[CalistaClap]

She wanted to break up with you, and she did. She didn't lead you on, she didn't cheat on you to make you go away, she didn't lie to you, she just broke up with you becuase she felt that you argued too much and you were too jealous. (I can kinda see it from your post).

You are 17, she is 15. If she feels that she is a victim of a jealous b/f, I totally commend her for having enough self worth to break up with you.

No offense, but you don't seem to be all that respectful to her.

Quote" call me or it's over"

Just do both her and yourself a favor and let her go. It just wasn't ment to be.

[Herbert]

well i only said that cuz i wanted her to call me and i guys its a imature thing u know when people say "if u do this its over blah blah" but the fact is i care for her and i wanted to make things right

but i only have one problem. When i try to forget about her something or someone has to remind me of her and then i start thinking of that quote "If u love something let it go.If it comes back than its yours. If it doesnt never was" and i dont wanna think like that cuz if she doesnt comeback i dont want to be depressed and upset but its soo hard not to think that way like....i keep thinking that shes gunna come back when im over her. like when i was with her i didnt really care u know i would have feelings of breaking it off but after she left me i now know how important she is to me and shit.but hey im trying to move on but its not much help with me seeing her everyday :(

[MissCheivious]

Here's the thing, only you and her know how you feel about each other and how messed up things are. Everyone here is impartial and we can only go on the information you give us. You wanted advice, even if it's not what you want to hear. That being said, you and her are playing games with each other. That's to be expected since you're teenagers. If you want her back, tell her! What's the worst that can happen? She'll laugh at you? She'll say she has a b/f? She's only telling you about guys so you'll get jealous. You fall into the trap, no one makes you. You getting on with your life and talking to whomever you choose will only push her further towards you if it was meant to be. No one likes to be forgotten and she'll defintely think you're moving on if you act like you don't care. If she's staring at you, stare back. She'll know that you know she's alive but you choose not to talk to her because you're moving on. Moving on and forgetting someone isn't easy. It takes a long time depending on how you deal with stuff. You're going to think about the good times just like SHE is! If she's trying to show you how "over" you she is, she's not. Play her game too. She won't be able to take it and then, next thing you know, she'll be calling. Take my word, women respond to being ignored (not all women but some ;) ). Ask yourself is she worth all this game playing, if she is, go for it. If she's not, let it go and don't think about what might've been, start making things happen for yourself and don't dwell on things. It's not going to change the past at all and all you do is end up bitter and lonely.

[eightball61]

If she's not, let it go and don't think about what might've been, start making things happen for yourself and don't dwell on things. It's not going to change the past at all and all you do is end up bitter and lonely.



I agree with MC here and you need to look foward rather than backwards. Its doing you no good to sit there and mope on something that you can't have. You have done everything you could and that was sweet of you. There is nothing more you can do. Its her mind that has to change. This just proves why I say a person can't change another persons mind because that person has to change it for themselves.