anguish
02-16-2004, 11:45 AM
Hi everyone,
I have a problem in my life right now and I need some advice.
We are a group of 6 friends, 3 male, 3 female, who do everything together. 2 of the males and females are in relationships with each other. Myself and the other girl are not in a relationship with each other - however, she is in a relationship with someone. They have a child together. They also have a volatile, not violent, relationship. I've known my friend for around 5 years since she moved 200 miles to where I live for her job.
She's not had a great life, she's not had much love in her life from her parents (Dad is an alcoholic and her mum moved to another country when she was 15). I know it sounds cliched, but because of this, she has slept with a lot of men in her life - she's 21 - I'm older.
When I first met her, she was dating one of my friends, who I don't see that often now. I've always been very protective of her and I've even hit someone who was calling her a 'slut' after she had with him. I've always been a shoulder for her to cry on and I've always listened to her problems and tried to give her advice. 2 years ago, we went through a stage where we were having with each other.
She tells me that she isn't happy with her current partner, who I get on with very well, and she tells me she doesn't see her relationship with him lasting though she does love him. She says their age gap (12 years) is too much as they are too different. I'm going to be moving into a 3 bedroom house soon, and I'll be living there on my own. My friend has, jokingly, asked on a few occassions if she could move in with me. I've said No and few times, but I've answered Yes more than I've answered No. I realise that this would involve her child coming with her and I can live with that as he is great.
About 4 weeks ago after a nite out, I couldn't get a cab home and had to stay at a friends house, where this girl was also staying the nite. As it was, we ended up sharing a single-bed. We joked and talked and slept. The following week, she asked me to stay the nite again as she was staying at our friends house again. I declined on this occassion as I didn't think it would be a good idea. As I didn't stay, she then got a cab home even though it cost her $30.
It's only been the last few months when my feelings towards her have changed - I don't know if I'm in love with her as I've never been in love before. I don't know if I can tell her how I'm feeling - if she says no, then I don't know if I'll be able to face her again.
All of my friends say that I'm a very deep person and I don't let my feelings show - they say, emotionally, I'm a closed person, but that's only due to me being hurt in the past. I find it hard to open up to people and prefer to deal with my problems myself.
What do I do? I know that this Friday, there is a good chance we will be sharing a single-bed again.
Thanks for reading and I hope I've not bored too many people.
Anguish
CA
I have a problem in my life right now and I need some advice.
We are a group of 6 friends, 3 male, 3 female, who do everything together. 2 of the males and females are in relationships with each other. Myself and the other girl are not in a relationship with each other - however, she is in a relationship with someone. They have a child together. They also have a volatile, not violent, relationship. I've known my friend for around 5 years since she moved 200 miles to where I live for her job.
She's not had a great life, she's not had much love in her life from her parents (Dad is an alcoholic and her mum moved to another country when she was 15). I know it sounds cliched, but because of this, she has slept with a lot of men in her life - she's 21 - I'm older.
When I first met her, she was dating one of my friends, who I don't see that often now. I've always been very protective of her and I've even hit someone who was calling her a 'slut' after she had with him. I've always been a shoulder for her to cry on and I've always listened to her problems and tried to give her advice. 2 years ago, we went through a stage where we were having with each other.
She tells me that she isn't happy with her current partner, who I get on with very well, and she tells me she doesn't see her relationship with him lasting though she does love him. She says their age gap (12 years) is too much as they are too different. I'm going to be moving into a 3 bedroom house soon, and I'll be living there on my own. My friend has, jokingly, asked on a few occassions if she could move in with me. I've said No and few times, but I've answered Yes more than I've answered No. I realise that this would involve her child coming with her and I can live with that as he is great.
About 4 weeks ago after a nite out, I couldn't get a cab home and had to stay at a friends house, where this girl was also staying the nite. As it was, we ended up sharing a single-bed. We joked and talked and slept. The following week, she asked me to stay the nite again as she was staying at our friends house again. I declined on this occassion as I didn't think it would be a good idea. As I didn't stay, she then got a cab home even though it cost her $30.
It's only been the last few months when my feelings towards her have changed - I don't know if I'm in love with her as I've never been in love before. I don't know if I can tell her how I'm feeling - if she says no, then I don't know if I'll be able to face her again.
All of my friends say that I'm a very deep person and I don't let my feelings show - they say, emotionally, I'm a closed person, but that's only due to me being hurt in the past. I find it hard to open up to people and prefer to deal with my problems myself.
What do I do? I know that this Friday, there is a good chance we will be sharing a single-bed again.
Thanks for reading and I hope I've not bored too many people.
Anguish
CA