*sigh* Someone please help me get rid of my bfs obsessive ex...

[JimmysSlave]

She is texting him at all hours, everyday and emailing him etc, and he is letting her do it! He doesnt see that there is anything wrong with it - unlike me who is getting quite pissed off at the whole situation... She calls his mum all the time and hangs out with his sisters and the only person that seems to care about how I feel about all this, is me!!!
Any tips on how to get rid of her???

[hmmm]

Im in the same situation with my partner, his childs mother is all over him and his family.

Does he still like her? Stick up for her? And talk/ answer her when she calls etc? What impression do you have of how he sees their relationship now?

[eightball61]

It's hard when he is allowing this to happen because it'seasy to have her number blocked on a phone and have her email blocked too. He and his family needs to step in however it seems they have a liking for her over you. Without knowing the whole story I'd have to say you're in a tough position if the family like this girl and is not giving you the chance. Over all it's your life and your choice so if you see no give there your best bet is to go in a direction that will fully make you smile.

[PrincessB]

The ex is not the problem, your bf is. She is not obsessed because she is welcome in his family and the only one that has a problem is you. OUCH! If nobody cares how you feel but you then the answer is sooooo obvious! You probably can see right through it but the truth hurts in this one and that can be hard to face.

The best way to deal with this is to get rid of him. She is not your boyfriend so it doesn't matter what she does because he has to answer to you and not her. He is allowing this which means: He's not that into you, he's not over her, and you are not going to win.

I hate to say it but sounds like you're Phil ie: Fill up his time until he and this girl get back together.

You can try confronting him but he will either break up with you or tell you what he thinks you want to hear.

Sorry to sound harsh and that this probably isn't what you want to hear but do you want to keep sharing a man? If you do, then keep what you're in. If you do not want to share him until he ultimately gets back together with her then kick him to the curb.

[Howard]

Why does she call his mom?

[JimmysSlave]

She calls his mum to "chat" and have "coffee". It was him that broke it off with her cos he was no longer in love with her, they were together for about 2 and a half years I think, and were broken up well over a year before I came along (him and I have been together 15months). She was madly in love with him, and according to his friends and family, still is. She never wanted to break up, it was all him and she ended up getting real nasty over it. If they had remained friends when they spilt, then I wouldnt have a problem with them being mates, afterall, she is appart of his past and I dont wanna try and take that away from him. However, that is not the case. I trust that he wouldnt cheat on me and I know he doesnt her back as a gf, and thats not my issue. His mum described her to me as a "happy, bubbly person who doesnt really know her boundries" basically - the complete opposite of me! Lol
I just dont get WHY he (and her for that matter)suddenly want to be on such friendly terms?? He offered to block her number and email, I said no as I dont feel that would actually solve the situation. She is obsessive and would only find another way to be in contact with him. Short of sending one of those "back the off !" emails, Im at a loss of what to do... I dont wanna stoop to her level, or make myself look obsessive or insecure...

[MattHelm]

I agree with PrincessB. Your bf is allowing this behavior and he can stop it. He needs to tell her that he's dating you now and to stop contacting him. Then you can take him up on his offer to block her number an email.

It sounds like he may feel guilty since their breakup was his idea, but he needs to man-up and end it for good, not drag you into it.

You are not obsessive or insecure, your bf and his ex are. If he won't end it out of respect for you, then I hope you will respect yourself and consider finding a guy without so much baggage.

Good Luck.
-MH

[PrincessB]

I wasn't meaning that Jimmyslave is obsessive but she certainly is the one with the problem and since nobody else is quite seeing that, please allow me to explain.

Bf doesn't have a problem because men LOVE! attention whether its from girls they want or not. He has a gf that he's crazy about and his ego is fed by the jealousy or perceived gfs jealousy of his ex. She's always around feeding his ego with fantasies that's he's so irresistible woman can't get over him and that may be why he's keeping her around. Either that or he doesn't have a backbone and if this is how he handles relationships then Jimmyslave needs to run and not look back. Sounds more like the guy is just a guy thinking like a guy though.

The ex doesn't have a problem because she is welcome to make the calls, visits, and spend time with his family. Although it may be over; her imagination is fed with ideas that there is still hope and that if she waits they will get back together and live happily ever after.

Now I would say that is a big problem for Jimmyslave! I totally feel for Jimmyslave but the ex isn't being obsessive or psycho as the bf has done a good job of letting this girl think their connection is too deep to be disconnected (let me know if anybody needs a clarification of this too). The girl hasn't gotten the point because nobody is making the point to her which is leading the poor girl on. I feel sorry for her thinking she has this fated connection with Jimmyslave's bf because she sounds like a dumb person. I'm not going to agree that the ex is obsessive because the ex's behavior is being encouraged. Nobody seems to be going out of their way to tell her to bugger off for good and she doesn't seem to have a problem at all. All she thinks she has to do is stay in with the family and wait to get him back.

If she was blocked with a restraining order and still coming around I would agree. I'm sorry but nobody is respecting Jimmyslave in this and the ex isn't being blocked out of the lives of the bf and his family.

Until this girl is blocked from the bf and family completely the behavior is considered welcome.