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PatheticZable
03-06-2005, 07:22 PM
I've been currently dating a girl for 1 1/2 years. About 6 months into we had a few breaks that lasted a couple of months that we were off and on. Well for 2 months after that we stayed together and again went on another break. It took us about a month to get over that and we stayed together for about 5 months before again she wants to go on another break. On only one of the breaks did she want to see other people but she made sure that on this one she didn't. We have worked out the problems we had and everything seems to be happy between us but yet she doesn't want to get back together yet. She hasn't decided yet if she is or not. I know she loves me but she checks out more girls then I do. I believe if we broke up for good that she would date a girl before she ever dated any other guys. But overall our relationship is pretty good and she wants to move in together next year and get married sometime after that. But I don't understand we we keep going on all these breaks. Furthermore, she never wants to have . We have probaly only done it a total of 5 or 6 times in the past year, the last time being on Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why that is either ? I know she loves me but maybe not in love with me ? What is your advice and do you think we can keep it working and stay together once we get back together.
IMO it's time to move on. After all, what are you trying to save here?
You're in a relationship that constantly goes on breaks and you don't have or are intimate all that much.
The fact that you keep having to take breaks from each other is a sign that this relationship doesn't stand a chance of suceeding long term.
IMO you should just end it and fine someone else. Unless you like to keep hitting your head against the wall.
Rich
www.awesomerelationships.com
eightball61
03-07-2005, 01:44 PM
It clearly shows that she is not ready for anytype of relationship. I mean if she did love you then she would stay with you to work out the problems together. Taking a brake to me is just a sign of running away because they can't handle a real relationship. Here there is no point of holding on because you are holding on to nothing. Sure you have deep feelings for her but her feelings differ....Relationships take the effort of two.
MissCheivious
03-07-2005, 03:34 PM
Sometimes is a barometer of what's going on in a relationship. That being said, if this girl is biual or unsure of her uality and not having with you, that should tell you something. I don't doubt she loves you but, lots of people who are mixed up about their homouality try to be "normal" and be in a hetroual relationship. She is what she is. There's nothing wrong with that but, she is wrong in trying to force herself into what society or whoever thinks is acceptable or right. I'm sure she cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you but your "breaks" aren't healthy. If the two of you have taken that many and she still can't figure out who she is, no amount of time will. She's using you as a safety net and unless you want to be used, I suggest you tell her you'll always be there for her as a friend but nothing more. I know that's tough but it seems like that's the only fesible thing to do here. If you keep this up, you'll only come to resent her and/or she'll end up hurting you more. It's really up to you because you know her better of course. Good luck in whatever choice you make. :)
PatheticZable
03-09-2005, 01:25 AM
I told her that I'm tired of her going back and forth and never knowing what she wants and all these breaks. I basically just wrote her a note (because she can't ever talk about these things) and said that she needs to decide soon otherwise I'm just going to give up on her. I just gave it to her today so I haven't really gotten any response yet.
eightball61
03-09-2005, 01:14 PM
She still is not making up her mind....See what the note does but just use that as the last straw and closure because if you keep to her under these conditions then you will continue to be lost and confused.
CalistaClap
03-09-2005, 02:39 PM
If she actually admitted that she doesn't know if she's or not, then why would you attempt to stay?
That is something she has to discover on her own. And having you there isn't going to make that any easier.
What happens if you get married, have a few kids, then she realizes that she's a ?
She's "came out" enough to tell you that there is a possibility, so let her go.
If she is , no matter what you do, you can't change her mind.
CalistaClap
03-09-2005, 02:39 PM
If she actually admitted that she doesn't know if she's or not, then why would you attempt to stay?
That is something she has to discover on her own. And having you there isn't going to make that any easier.
What happens if you get married, have a few kids, then she realizes that she's a ?
She's "came out" enough to tell you that there is a possibility, so let her go.
If she is , no matter what you do, you can't change her mind.
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