Need Some Advise About A Break

[dhosera1]

So a week ago my girlfriend tells me that she needs time and wants to take a break as the relationship in her eyes wasnt going the greatest. She calls me everyday and also texts me and always tells me she loves me at least once a day. She says that she is just overwhelemed with everything lately and that she just needs time to hang out with her friends and such. She isnt after a different guy and doesnt want one she says and I do believe that. I dont initiate any contact and only talk or text when she initiates.
We spoke on the phone last nite which I told her that I missed her and she said the same. I told her that it was very hard to be away from her, not knowing if she wants me anymore. She said that she just feels so free and missed me but not as much as I did and she didnt feel the same way.
I guess I dont know what to do. We do spend alot of time together and I would be willing to let her spend more time with her friends and such but why does it have to be with not seeing me at all? She is coming over tonight in which I plan to talk to her about it and I guess I just dont think it is going to go well.
If I am willing to see her less in order for her to see her friends more then what more can I do? If her single friends find a boyfriend they will abandon her just like they have in the past. I guess I dont know what to do. I am lost.

[smackie9]

I always recommend to everyone if you want a relationship to stay fresh you need a life outside the relationship. Doing everything as a couple, after awhile you feel you are losing your individuality. You feel kind of trapped, and think is this all there is for me. I think this is what has happened to your gf.

[jt3611]

Hey man, I'm in almost the exact same situation and it sucks! So I def. feel for you! With my gf its stress from school and two jobs and just needs time to sort things out. Its rough when you don't feel any different towards her and knowing she is having fun without you.

You basically have to give her the space she wants or else you'll push her away even farther. Honestly though it sounds like she's getting best of both worlds. Knowing you're still there waiting, sending lovey texts and still seeing each other (kinda contradicted yourself on that so I'm not sure if you are or not) but having the "freedom" of a break so she doesn't feel bad about doing stuff or acting flirty with other guys and such.

But you have to be honest with her. YOu need to be honest with yourself even more importantly. I wouldn't say break up with her but if she doesn't come around in her thinking and you're still sitting there after x-amount of time then you need to move on. It might take that to make her realize what she's got with you. But you have to be ready for the negative consequences also. Trust me its hard but its a necessary step!

How long have you dated? How old are you?

[dhosera1]

Well last night she came over for a talk. She said she wants to break up. I am defeated. I loved her more than I ever thought possible. I left nothing unsaid. I told her she is making a huge mistake and she said that is exactly what she needs to find out for herself. She wants time away from me to be herself and do her own thing. She said she just needs to know that I am the one. She has never had another serious relationship and just doesnt know if I am it. So we broke up. She is very upset I can tell. I know she is having a hard time but she said this is something she just has to do and she never meant to hurt me. I told her I cant make her stay and I have to let her go. I cant allow myself to not have someone feel the same way I feel about them. So I must try and move on and thats what I intend on doing. I am literally heartbroken but time will tell. She said she still wants to text me or talk to me every now and again and we left it at that. What do you guys think? I really need some outside advise.

[smackie9]

The I'll text ya is just a long goodbye. Just remember you will meet someone that will make her become a distant memory.

[jt3611]

Hey man sorry to hear it. I wouldn't drag it out, occasionally communicating is probably only going to make it harder on you. It will stir those feelings up for both of you. I would cut it clean. Move on with your life and if it's meant to be then it will work out. If not you will find the person you were meant to be with. Good luck Bro

[Helper]

Hey man it sounds like a small problem, and it can be solved real quick.

I recommend you give her the space she needs, but also step back and pull away from the relationship abit.

If you do that, she will not take you for granted and she will miss you, which means she will want to come back to you. People want what they cant have.

But I think that if you do get back together, there are some issues you will have to solve. Try to find out what happened that led to her iniating a break, and see how you can fix it from your side. It will be probably be something small, such as neediness/clingyness, insecurity, relationship has gone repetitive etc. But dont worry it can be fixed :)

Anyway let us know what happens, Im keen to help :)