Advice please ..... :( Im heatrbroken, hes changed his mind

[janeyjane]

Hi there people, im new too this site and was wondering if anyone could help me. Im 21 nearly 22 years old and my boyfriend is 24 years old. We been together 21 months. Well all this started is when my flatmate decided to move home but cause were contracted to stay there til October 2009, and from septmber 2009 i loose my job. So i AM struggling to find somewhere to live on a low budget for the october time, now my boyfriend as a 3 bedroom house i thought well by october we will of been together for 2 years so i asked him and at first he said YES so i was excited but then for 2 days he was being funny so i asked him whats up and he said basically NO you cant move in hes not ready its too early. So of course im gutted cause i fort we get on, but anyway after thinking i asked him does he ever want to live together with me or anyone and does he want kids (now hes already got a 3 year old that i dont know how often he sees as it changes every week) and he said yes to the living toegther in the future but never to the kids. So i said basically we got no future and i decided to stay with him for another couple of months to a year hoping i can switch off my feeling of i know we aint forvever (im heartbroken cause i really wanna spend my life with this man). No just so you get the jift of our relationship i see him a monday for an hour or less (basically for ) and wednesday from 4pm to 8pm (BUT ive changed that last week i said i wanna stop) so wednesdays i stop over night now. Then see him friday when ive finished work at 8pm and stop at his and then saturday morning til 12noon as he goes out with the lads drinking and then sunday all day unless im working or choose to do something with the girls.
I dont wanna settle down til im at least 25/26 years old, but i wanna at least of spent 2 years with a man i choose to do this with. Im gutted also cause all my friends seem to be settling down and even having kids. Im gonna be stuck.

MY ACVICE needed is:

Do i stay with him and accept were never have kids?
Am i right in staying with him for a couple of months to a year til im ready to start looking for someone to move on with?
Will he ever change his mind?



PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME .......


xx

[eightball61]

You're too much on a timeline....You dont want to settle until 25, you want a want for 2 years to make a decision, you want, you want, you want...but what about your partner needs? This is what a relationship is all about....you both sit in the driverseat. It's ok to have expectations but if they are not meetng like you want them to your only choices are to find a route that will furfill them or try to adjust them.