Should the ex be a friend or lover?

[rockstarpajamas]

My boyfriend of two years and I broke up a last week, I initiated it. The problem was that he stopped paying much attention to me and always wanted to hang out with friends and rarely alone with me. We had a lot of fun together and were more like best friends, but he was not very affectionate. I tried talking about it, but it went nowhere.

Also, we had starting arguing weekly - mostly because I felt like he didn't care. The only resolution to our arguments we could come to was breaking up, which neither of us really wanted, so we'd just leave situations unresolved - and then they would worsen.

We agree that we are still just as in love with each other, just we weren't working well. We decided that we care about each other so much that we want to be in each other's lives. We really have no choice but to be at least friends because we have the same group of friends.

I've seen him almost every day since we broke up, and we hung out alone for a couple hours today (it was nice, really). It's been a roller-coaster because sometimes it upsets me to see him, but other times I'm fine with it and it's fun. He's handling it a lot better than me, which hurts, strangely. However, I regret that we broke up, although it seemed the only thing to do at the time. Ultimately, I know that whether we are together or not I will be dissatisfied with the situation.

Is being friends the right approach, or should I try to win him back? And how should someone approach either option?

[thena414]

Work on being friends first then if its going great and you guys still have a connection work on making it a relationship again.

[eightball61]

Deep down you want him back but just went for the break-up hoping this would change his mindset, right???

To be honest I think you're being a little selfish here. Remember, he was your boy. He was the one that went with you out of all girls out there. It's ok to hang with friends or be with friends more often than one would like because remember he's still coming home to you. Also, you would have mentioned this but at least he's not sneaking around either.

[eightball61]

Deep down you want him back but just went for the breakup hoping this would change his mindset, right???

To be honest I think you're being a little selfish here. Remember, he was your boy. He was the one that went with you out of all girls out there. It's ok to hang with friends or be with friends more often than one would like because remember he's still coming home to you. Also, you would have mentioned this but at least he's not sneaking around either.

Here he just wants some alone time like you should want some to. Hanging with friends is ok. My opinion would differ if he was sneaking around, making plans with you then breaking them off all the time for friends, ect. but from what we know he's not asnd this is why I think you're being a bit selfish.

You require a little more attention and that's perfectly ok but as seen here he can't commit to that because he's doing what he likes to....you both just need to find a balance.