How to stop thinking of her and stop crying..please help!!

[lostfirstlove]

Hello. I just wanted to know how in god's name can i stop thinking about my ex. We had an intense 2 yr relationship. She has 2 past marriages and a 10 yr old child. We were great together, but my family was totally against her because of her past. My friends and family gave me enough negative **** and I was too afriad she would leave me if i committed to her. We broke up a few times....god knows i made a couple of really bad mistakes, but i was the nicest guy to her and her son... But the last time we broke, I didnt talk to her for 2 months and decided to think about this clearly....i realized all my mistakes and went begging asking her to take me back..my family spoke to her and begged her to come back....initially she said she had moved on....i begged her to think about it, but after 2 months she said she was going to stay with the other guy. In fact, in less than 4 months, they are moving in together and they are talking about marriage. The last day we spoke, she told me many things..about how that guy had asked her to be his girlfriend and how his family was this and that..each and every word was like a bullet and devastated me totally...we both are highly educated and smart....but she is moving in with a truck driver and that all the more keeps tearing me apart....i am too broken...been crying for god knows how long and every single minute, all i can do is think about her and how i made my mistakes....cant see anything in the future....as much as i would never say a bad word about her...the pain is too much to bear....i spoke to a counselor...but nothing....the ex's last words echo in my ears every single minute especially the nights...lost my friends and family over this...feel so alone....will this ever end??? what do i do??

[eightball61]

You're alone and you have no way to help you move on. You lost friends but you can gain new ones, you can find ways to better yourself, make goals to achieve, ect. You need to give yourself a push instead of sitting in shame.

[lostfirstlove]

I tell myself everyday, it will be ok, god is there....then last night, i had a horrible dream....her words just beating my brain and woke me up....

my cousin told me the same that i would eventually move on...i just dont know when...its like every minute a tiny part of me is dying...the more i try to stop thinking of her, the more it hits me....the way she said she was moving in with him and they were discussing marriage and the way she was happy...omg...it was like each word was a slap on my face.....

i have always been most unlucky in love....she was the greatest thing that
happened to me...she was my friend, my lover, my partner ...and as much as i feel i deserve to be shot for bringing tears to her eyes....i want to stop this pain...

i was thinking today morning....rationally...i evaluated all the pains i have gone thru in life....every good thing that came to me, god took it away in a little bit....i never questioned it, just kept fighting...felt thats how people grow and i need to be tough...for 10 yrs now...i just looked forward...

but this time....i am tired of fighting....just simply tired....my job is a struggle every day...i have been fighting for 4 years everyday mustering my strength....but my heart and mind are giving up....whats the point of having so much to offer when you dont have anyone to offer it to...

i am not depressed...nor will my brain let me kill myself.....but for the first time i wish god would just take my miserable life....because if god tests someone's patience this long...then i give up.....i had so many friends, family...a great girl....in one moment....everything lost....nothing is left....
i broke that girl's heart 4-5 times...for that i would gladly give my life as penance...i deserve my punishment and am ready to own up to my mistakes...but this is not over...is it??? anyone?

[eightball61]

but this is not over...is it??? anyone?


It is over and this is why you're having a hard time moving on. You are depressed too but fail to see it. Your words and feelings prove that you are. It's not a bad thing to be depressed because we all face it. Some can easily get out of it while others can't. Since you've tried doing this yourself and its not working then maybe you should go talk with a professional to help guide you to something different.

You have a lot of closure that you need to deal with and this is why you can't let go. Seeing a professional can try to help you deal with the closure to help move on. Give it a try :)

[Helper]

Wow sounds like you got it really bad.

We are all here for you :)

I think going out and doing some fun stuff will get her out of your head.

Go back to the gym and start working out.

Do things everyday to help someone else (do a good deed)

You recognise your mistakes, which is awesome. Just make sure you dont make the same mistakes again. And dont jump into another relationship yet. Take your time.

[lostfirstlove]

thanks helper...believe me when i say...bad is a mild word...more like horrible.......i try to pick the pieces of my mind, heart and soul everyday...been trying to find my strength for sometime....i guess my pain is different....when i realized my mistakes and begged her to forgive me...it was too late....sometimes its just missing her, her smile, her laugh or talk....remember, she was not just my love, she was my best friend...but sometimes i get these small nightmares..of imagining her with him....it wakes me up, rattles me and shakes me....the big thing is not too many people fight to get their ex back when the ex is with someone else....everyday trying to get her back was a nightmare.....we would talk on the IM all day and then she would go home to him, she was having dinner with him, going out, having ....its not an easy thing to deal with....i am at work right now and the tears are coming out....i am controlling myself so strongly....
I dont know how to face this problem...i am doing it head on and not trying to take any drugs or alcohol to dull the pain.....but my god...it hurts...i can physically feel my heart and chest hurt....lost most of my friends and family over this...they dont want to help or they can deal with the fact that i am too broken....pray to god everyday...to show me the light or path to happiness....or just end this miserable life....but it fels a bit good to hear you say that there is light at the end of the tunnel....i cant see it to be honest...but maybe god will have mercy and show me....
i dont think i am in any shape to do anyone good, or just do anything...i force myself to eat...force myself to work...but it takes all my strength....

[smackie9]

Experiencing the end of a relationship is no different than dealing with a death. You must grieve in order to get relief. Slowly you will start feeling better after 2 weeks to a month as you start to look forward to a new future. You will eventually start to go out and socialize. Things will start rolling along and before you know it you will feel comfortable in your own skin again. So cry, release your pain. Come here anytime you need anymore support.

[lovingcouples]

If love is true, whatever problems you may have in your relationship, you would stick on till the end. Your love is true but I doubt about hers. From your message I understand, she has already had 2 past marriages and her 3rd man was you. Here too she could not stick on to this relationship with you for long. She has moved on with the next guy. This would go on.... I believe she is not giving any importance to a relationship and rather to her fancies. I know it hurts a lot but it is better you two have separated. There is no meaning in a relationship when there is no love or the partner is not faithful. Just go on with your life and let God give you the strength to bear this.