Chris0305
03-10-2005, 06:05 PM
My fiance and I have been together for a little over two years now, we had met in high school. We have always had a good relationship, we both always appreciated one another, gave each other space/time, complimented one another honestly, were out-and-out honest with one another, and always trusted each other. We did have troubles here and there, but normally we talked them out and ended up with no obvious hurt feelings... at least I never held any of it against her. Her parents have made it rather difficult for us to be together as well, mainly because her father dislikes me. I have planned a great many things for my future and it always seems these things fall through due to other circumstances, and this seems to have made him believe that I am a detriment to his daughter. My ex and I had spoken about this, as we do all things, and she seemed to be ok with it.
I have a child to another woman, this occured before my ex. My child lives with me and gets along great with her, but I still feel this may have affected her. We have spoken of this multiple times and she always just said that as long as we had a child together she would be ok.
Recently she decided to go off to College (we are both in our 20s) over 3 hours drive away, I was worried that she would not come back till I was able to get things situated with myself (as I wish to return to school as well). I supported her though and have continued to do so, but we had our share of arguments while she was there... over the stupidest things.. we both equally accepted the blame for these arguments. She told me recently though that she is mean because she misses me and that this is the manner with which she believes she can cope. Things were ok for a few days and then just this week, she ended our relationship. She says that she is no longer in love with me, that she just thinks of me as a friend. I feel that I have wounded her somehow and driven her away, that I must have somewhere along the line portrayed my support in a way that scared her off. That perhaps my financial inability to afford a car right now and still pay the bills, take care of the baby, and help out my family scared her into believing her father. Is there any way I can salvage this relationship? This woman is very important to me and I despirately need help, if there is any way with which I can win her back... I want to go through with it. I do not know what to do, as talking to her about it has not worked. I felt that maybe she was telling herself she didn't love me, in order to protect herself and me as well. I also thought that perhaps those around her were encouraging her away (as she has a few male friends up at school, all of whom like her, though I trust her when she says she does not reciprocate those feelings). I am not just clinging to her over comfort, but the fact that I know I do love her for who she is and do not wish to lose such a lovely person. Please help me if you can or just tell me the truth if I should cut my losses. Thank you.
I have a child to another woman, this occured before my ex. My child lives with me and gets along great with her, but I still feel this may have affected her. We have spoken of this multiple times and she always just said that as long as we had a child together she would be ok.
Recently she decided to go off to College (we are both in our 20s) over 3 hours drive away, I was worried that she would not come back till I was able to get things situated with myself (as I wish to return to school as well). I supported her though and have continued to do so, but we had our share of arguments while she was there... over the stupidest things.. we both equally accepted the blame for these arguments. She told me recently though that she is mean because she misses me and that this is the manner with which she believes she can cope. Things were ok for a few days and then just this week, she ended our relationship. She says that she is no longer in love with me, that she just thinks of me as a friend. I feel that I have wounded her somehow and driven her away, that I must have somewhere along the line portrayed my support in a way that scared her off. That perhaps my financial inability to afford a car right now and still pay the bills, take care of the baby, and help out my family scared her into believing her father. Is there any way I can salvage this relationship? This woman is very important to me and I despirately need help, if there is any way with which I can win her back... I want to go through with it. I do not know what to do, as talking to her about it has not worked. I felt that maybe she was telling herself she didn't love me, in order to protect herself and me as well. I also thought that perhaps those around her were encouraging her away (as she has a few male friends up at school, all of whom like her, though I trust her when she says she does not reciprocate those feelings). I am not just clinging to her over comfort, but the fact that I know I do love her for who she is and do not wish to lose such a lovely person. Please help me if you can or just tell me the truth if I should cut my losses. Thank you.