Handling infidelity

[JakeT]

My gf of 3 years has just confessed that she has been cheating on me over a period of several months with her a family member's husband. I suspected it all along but could never prove it. She kind of spilled the beans on her own accord whilst in a conversation that skirted that topic. To compound matters we have a long dist relationship & one of the 'justifications' she put forward was that she had just moved to the new city & needed help with things & one thing led to another & soon she was in his arms & bed

I was devastated when she told me & still feel sick on my stomach. Apart from fessing up, she says that she is sorry & that she loves me. I know I should run like hell but after my initial tears in an almost surreal state I asked whether she had learnt any lessons & she said yes to several. She also said she was not going to marry him although he has left his wife & is pressurising her for marriage. I told her that we would work things out in a rational & mature manner & that I would not react emotionally. We then had the most awesome . What to do ? Really dumb move on my part isn't it ? Problem is that I still love her.

[eightball61]

They really messed up the family I'm sure. It's easy for him to run however she is still in the family. If and If mean if you both worked things out hate would be present at family social events. So aside with your own insecurities you'd be placed with a girl that has no one and only she has herself to blame. The family would not like you too just because of her past actions. If you stick its going to be a long process where most end as a break-up anyway. Now is just your choice to stay or stick and waste more valuable time of your life.

[Rich]

If one thing lead to another and it just happened...then she has no will power or respect for you. Her relationship with you was not enough to prevent her from spreading her legs for another guy and a married guy at that.

What's so special about this girl???? If it's just , then don't proceed as if you expect to make her your wife. As your wife will she have the will power to say no to any other guy with a smooth line. If she gets a job where she has to travel will you trust her that she won't be banging other guys while she's away??? A few drinks after work with a co-worker and yada yada yada.

I also like the fact that it wasn't a one time moment of weakness, but she continued to sleep with this guy behind your back. I guess she has continual moments of weakness. Or maybe she thinks that you're just a schmuck who she can do whatever she wants to.

No trust is no trust. No respect is no respect.

[jhauser]

I have to agree with what has been stated. There are way too many negatives here and not enough reasons to stay together. You are not attached through marriage or have kids (I presume) and she is letting you know they kind of person she is right now and will most likely be in the future. Your best bet is to get out of this situation.

Getting involved in a married guy on several occasions is a tell for any women that they are not strong minded and are not secure with themselves to avoid those situations. She is giving you the break you need to leave- I feel you should take it. Letting her back in now will only complicate your life and delay the inevitable.