Am I wrong

[scrubthatduckie]

Hi, I am in the Coast Guard and I have been in a relationship with my now fiancee for a little over 2 years, we have been engaged for about 6 months. We have been talking about the future and she wants me to get out of the military. I love my job and don't really want to get out. Her problem is that she doesn't want to leave her family and have kids while traveling. I try to tell her that in order to finish 20 years we would only need to leave this area for about 6 of the next 14 years but all she will give me is 3 years away from home. With the 3 years I plan to go somewhere to give myself a higher priority in billet choices so I could come back to her hometown. We would just have to do that one more time but she refuses. I know this all sounds confusing and long but the bottom line is I am willing to spend the rest of my life here with her if she would give me 6 years away and she doesn't seem to be willing. Is there any hope for this relationship? Is it wrong for me to want her to go with me? I am not sure if I should try to keep the relationship going or just break it off to save ourselves heartbreak later on.

[eightball61]

There is hope for anything but you both need to give a little to recieve a little. If you retire in the military then she'd have you a lot sooner to especially at a younger age of retirement. It's hard but this is life. Many spouses hang on and can do it as long as they see the benefits to the future. This is your career though and if this is a dream/goal I wouldn't give it up.

[PrincessB]

She knew your occupational aspirations when she became involved with you. It would be wrong for her to expect you to give them up for her. She is being selfish and you will resent her for the rest of your lives if you give in.

I'd also like you to consider that it is possible that you give in and it doesn't work out. What then? You have everything to lose by not pursuing your ambitions.

[Diablo]

You shouldn't give up your career. Anything that's a problem before you get married, gets worse afterwards. I hate to say it, but it sounds like you have to choose between her and the military.