SaraBurns
09-15-2009, 03:54 AM
I have been with my fiance for almost a year. We had been dating for about 3 months when he proposed. We moved in together in July, after 8 months of dating. Since moving in together my fiance has confided in me his belief that he has a drinking problem and asked for my help. I found a treatment center for him and made all the arrangements, after 4 days he left. Ever since he has been back he has been different, as has our relationship. He began drinking again after one month of sobriety...but the drinking isn't as heavy as it was, and has actually allowed him to sort of open up to me, a little.
The reason for this post is that lately, I feel as if I am the only one actually TRYING to keep this relationship going. My fiance, more or less, thinks that I should feel LUCKY because he is with me. And I do...or at least I did.
So many things have changed, most of them involving our personal life. Emotions aren't shared, there doesn't appear to be a physical attraction from him...in fact there seems to be more of a detachment from me.
And all of a sudden, I find myself wanting to detach from him. I anticipate the demise of our relationship, weather it be myself or him that actually finalizes the end of it, and I have begun to change my mindset, change my opinions, change my whole way of thinking so I can suffer the least amount when it finally does end.
The ONLY reason at this point that our relationship would end would be because he is not willing to make any changes in order to improve it. He has withdrawn physically, emotionally, ually and in every other aspect one expects in a relationship. I have tried and continue to try to rekindle the flame that was once there but without his participation.
I feel that I deserve more from a relationship, from a man...my son deserves more from a father figure. Am I wrong? Dear, God someone TELL me if I'm wrong.
And while you're at it, tell me the best way to come to terms with possibly ending this relationship that I have come to base my entire future and the future of my 3 and half year old son on...I beg you!!
The reason for this post is that lately, I feel as if I am the only one actually TRYING to keep this relationship going. My fiance, more or less, thinks that I should feel LUCKY because he is with me. And I do...or at least I did.
So many things have changed, most of them involving our personal life. Emotions aren't shared, there doesn't appear to be a physical attraction from him...in fact there seems to be more of a detachment from me.
And all of a sudden, I find myself wanting to detach from him. I anticipate the demise of our relationship, weather it be myself or him that actually finalizes the end of it, and I have begun to change my mindset, change my opinions, change my whole way of thinking so I can suffer the least amount when it finally does end.
The ONLY reason at this point that our relationship would end would be because he is not willing to make any changes in order to improve it. He has withdrawn physically, emotionally, ually and in every other aspect one expects in a relationship. I have tried and continue to try to rekindle the flame that was once there but without his participation.
I feel that I deserve more from a relationship, from a man...my son deserves more from a father figure. Am I wrong? Dear, God someone TELL me if I'm wrong.
And while you're at it, tell me the best way to come to terms with possibly ending this relationship that I have come to base my entire future and the future of my 3 and half year old son on...I beg you!!