Friends with EX

[bdtraders]

My SO told me when we first started going out that she was still friends with her ex husband (the father of her children) who she also grew up with as a kid, and that if i had an issue with that then me and her would never work. I was fine with it, (yes i get insecure sometimes, but i battles those demons inside). My ex wife and I are still friends, and she has had a new SO in her life since xmas. My ex will call me sometimes to get my opinion or just to say hello or ask if it would be ok if she saw my son (he was 2 yrs old when me and my ex got together and grew 8 years with me and her together so she really loves him.).
The issue is that my current SO gets mad because me and her still talk as friends, we dont see each other, we live 60 miles apart, we only talk to say hello, or she will call and ask if she can see my son.
I have told my SO that i will continue to talk to her just because of the history that me and her had and the connection that her and my son have, and seh has either two choices, for me to be open and honest about it and tell her about the conversations orif it bothers her that i will not let her know when we talk.
In my opinion my SO is just scared (and shes admitted it) that me and my ex might get back together. I tell her me and my ex are just friends like her and her ex and theres no way that I want to get back together with her, i want to move forward with my SO. My SO says that i should cut all contact with my ex becuase my son isnt hers so she needs to get over it.
What are your opinions, my ex is a good friend and has helped me alot in my current relationship, giving me real truth and opening my eyes to my own faults and siding with my SO at times, and was the key person that told me if i trully loved my SO when i broke up with her in january that i should try everything in my power to make it work and dont let my family influence my decision. But on the other hand i dont want to upset or make my SO miserable or insecure even though she can still hug and hang out with her ex.

[eightball61]

Is her and her ex still talking?

[bdtraders]

on and off, some days shes all friendly with him other days she wants nothing to do with him. But honestly NO not as much as when i first starting dating her, she has backed away from the friendship level with him alot, alot of it has to do with he dosent pay child support and that pisses her off to all ends.

[eightball61]

on and off, some days shes all friendly with him other days she wants nothing to do with him. .
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Well if she can talk to him off and on then you should be aloud also to talk to your ex. I can see if thier relationship was just strickly over thier child rather than "how are you doing" then i can see her case about you talking to you ex....but this sn't the case. She is talking to an ex about whatever and you should be aloud also.

Again this brings up the issue about control. She wants to have the control over you while she can do and you can't. My girlfriend is the same way.....Remember the phrase "treat others the way they treat you" or somthing like that??? well anyway, next time she complain about you talking to her or doing something that she normally does then throw it right back in her face on how she does the same thing.

Personally, I feel a relationship shouldn't be this way but what needs to be done needs to be done. I girlfriend today is tired and blah...blah and decided to take her stress out of me. I understand that ths shit can happen but when I take my stress out on her she freaks so I through it back in her face about her taking it out on me and how she says the same thing. I am not playing a game with her but my goal is to be firmer and stand up for myself. I believe I am doing well at that so far and you need to do the same. Once I see no hope in anything I will pack up and leave and if you see the same thing then you need to do the same.

[bdtraders]

Yea I have been being firmer and I have been more like my old self the last few days and shes noticed that im taking alot of her stuff anymore and that i will leave.
Now i just have to keep it up and not fall back into wussy land like i have tended to do with her in the past.

[eightball61]

not fall back into wussy land like i have tended to do with her in the past.

Its not about being a wussy..Its about standing up for yourself and not allowing others to step all over you. This advice just doesn't go for your relationships. Its goes also along friends or everyday people. I was in a meeting with me and my boss and she stated she like how I make suggions and approach things if I dont agree with something but when we have a staff meeting she like me to say stuff there rather than alone to her. I told her that I am afraid to speak up becaus of what others may think. I went to a staff meeting the other night and I spoke up and felt really good to do so.

You have your life to run and its not for someone else to run. When you are in a relationship you share your life with that person but also you share your opinion like the other person will. You GF is not afraid to hold anything back and you shouldn't either. You need to be firm like she is so she can see for herself what she is and may not want.

She is off talking to an ex and she gets mad when you do it. I would get mad if my girlfriend was talking to an ex but if I was doing the same thing by talking to an ex then my opinion would differ because I would see only that side to the problem. In a relationship a person has to be able to view both sides to a problem in order to get a full understanding. A relationship is a 2-way street and you have to treat it that way or else she will continue to run it into a one way street and over power you.