Just wondering

[PreciousYaya]

Hey guys,
I was just wondering if you are in a serious relationship with someone, how long before they meet your parents? I have been with my bf seven months, and he still has not met my family. To me its weird because the way I was raised, my parents either knew the guy I was going out with, or met him whenever I had a date. I want him to meet them, but he was raised differently, and tells me he's not ready. He says that he'll meet them when the time is right. He also has not introduced me to his family. Is it too soon?

[eightball61]

This is really something for you both to work out. You know the relationship better than we do at this point and what seems right and what seems wrong. I will say though you both need to compromise and work it all out together. The only issue I see is if his parents dont even know about you yet or your parents don't know about them. He is right and it all matters on timing and this could be a big deal to him bu you both have been together for 7 months. To me I believe its time for that meeting but if this is a big belief to him them you just may have to work with him and wait longer.

Does his parents know about you? or your parents know about him?

[bdtraders]

It my opinion that you meet parents when you both are comfortable. Do you or his parents live nearby or far away. I find it hard to belive that if you all live near each other that you all havent met each other yet.
I know with my SO I met her family withen weeks of datings her, but she has only met a few members of my family because of issues they have over the way we started dating.
But IMO its up to you two. Are you both avoiding parents or not going to family things because you are not ready to meet? If it means alot to you that he meets your family jsut tell him that. But you have to respect his wishs also if he dosent and see what his reasoning behind them are.

[PreciousYaya]

well
I have mentioned him to my parents. They know a lot about him. I know he has mentioned me, but not sure how much he talks about me to them. The thing is that he was with an ex for 8 years about, and they broke up. A month later we started dating. I'm nervous about meeting his family because they really got along with the other girl, and I'm not sure theyre ready for the idea of me. My bf even mentioned how his mom told him that he'd get back with his ex then they could get married. Knowing this makes me feel uncomfortable because i feel like they already dont like me. I mean its our relationship, but I also do not want his parents hating me. I think hes ready to meet my parents, not sure if i am. Um we live like 30 min from each other so it wont be difficult to get together but dont know

[bdtraders]

Heres what I have learned in my current relationship and about our parents, hope it helps.
My GFs parents and family met me early on and were accepting to me "as long as i trully cared for her". My familly didnt want anyhting to do with her and that killed her alot. You see she was the other woman and my wife at the time and my family got along great. Well my family hated her (even after my ex got over it), and to this day still really wants nothing to do with her, but they tell me they are working on it.
I let the best get to me by my family to leave her cause it would never be right, so i did. I was wrong i learned i cared about her alot, even though her and I have our problems and issues that we work on daily.
My family (mostly mother) and I have had a huge talk where i told them that yes i love them but i also love her also, and if they cant accept my trying to make my life happy then they cannot accept me, but right now she is the person i choose to be with and that me and my ex are over. If they choose to not meet her then thats their choice, but it will also limit the time they see me and my son, im not being mean, but im not going to put my GF in a situation of feeling uncomfortable at a family get together, and i refuse to leave her at home, becuase to me me and her are one until a day comes that we are not together again. My mom most recently said that she can see i trully love my GF and is sure me and her will get married someday , so she will work and is working on putting things behind her, but to give her time.
My point to all this is, I care about my SO very much, so much that if my family cant accept her right now thats fine, they dont have to, but it will limit the group family things we can do because I also wont be a part of them until they accept her. I dont love them any less, but I wont alienate her from my life for them.
So focus on your BF and if everyone meets they do and if they dont, then evalute your relationships and figure out whats important to YOU.

[eightball61]

I'm nervous about meeting his family because they really got along with the other girl,


You are his new love....I am sure you feel nervous after hearing all that from the mother but its time that she accept that he has moved on and made changes to his life. He needs to stop being a momma's boy and allow nature to take its course and have the relationship grow. It may take a while for them to accpet you because the other girl was with him for 8 years but they have to eventually accepted the fact this is his life and you are his new love.

If you both are really that serious about making this relationship work further into the future then maybe try a meeting all together. Talk to him and arrange a dinner where all parents and you guys can meet to talk things up. This may be a good way to get it al out in the open rather than waiting to meet one parent at a time. The decision though comes on him though and what he wants to do but he does have to realize that the time is coming where you have to meet them and he should meet yours.