my grandparents and my gf

[thoumas]

hey, im 15 about to be 16 and my gf is 17 about to be 18. So she comes over sometimes and when she does my grandparents (mainly my grandmother) watch her like a hawk. she is really uncomfortable here and the reason for it is because my grandparents dont trust ME. so how do i get them to trust me enough to stop watching SO cloesly. i dont expect them to stop watching completely but i want her to be comfortable around my grand parents (btw, i live with my grandparents) so what do i do to get them to trust me. i mean, its not like we plan on doing anything. but my grandparents dont believe that.

[eightball61]

The reactions could be because of how they were raised in their generation. To them they may see her as threat and/or a newbie into the family. If they don't trust her then it will take time so invite her over and try to get her to engage talk with them more. If she hides then it may only make things worse. If things don't change then maybe your grandpareants have reason not to trust and then would be the time to ask.

[Howard]

Why is that they don't trust you,Aren't you old enough to not be watched?

[Rich]

As parents and grand parents we often don't trust because we have all been there an done that. We know what we were like back in the day and we don't want that to happen to our children / grand children. By happen I mean having and getting pregnant.

Your grandparents have taken you in because of this issues with you step mom and dad, but they don't want to have to take care of your baby too if you get this girl pregnant.

That's what they're untrustful of, raging lobidos.

[thoumas]

Why is that they don't trust you,Aren't you old enough to not be watched?


yes, i beleive im old enough, and the reason they dont trust me is because when i was younger i was constantly in trouble and they still remember that. (i havent been in a while) so they dont trust me. Also, they got married at 18and 14 and my father got married at 18 and 14 so they think i might follow suite. (of course i wont)

[Howard]

yes, i beleive im old enough, and the reason they dont trust me is because when i was younger i was constantly in trouble and they still remember that. (i havent been in a while) so they dont trust me. Also, they got married at 18and 14 and my father got married at 18 and 14 so they think i might follow suite. (of course i wont)



So they're thinking you might get into trouble again,Have you tried to gain their trust again?

[Diablo]

It takes time to regain trust. Also, your gf getting pregnant would be a concern, such a thing happening long ago may explain why you're being raised by your grandparents and not your parents. Also, you're 16, before long you'll be on your own and living by your rules. You'll have much more freedom than you do now, but also much more responsibilities and pressure. You should realize that your grandparents are just looking for you and just accept it. They may be a little overprotective, but they may have good reason to be.

[PrincessB]

Its suspicious to their generation that a woman turning 18 years old is involved with a 16 year old. Age doesn't always matter but you're in a range right now where a few years makes a big difference. Its the difference between having a license, getting into bars, ability to purchase alcohol and tobacco legally, and the difference in life's priorities. Where you live it may not be that big of a deal but I know where I live it would be. I know because when I was 16 I was dating a 21 year old that went out to bars and I couldn't, was living on his own, and had concerns about bills and his future while I was worried about getting home in time for curfew and making the grade. The number may not matter (age) but when people are going through such rapid life changes and priorities are constantly changing there are responsibilities and freedoms affected by age that matter. The legal age where I live is 18 so hypothetically your gf would be entering an entirely different stage in her life. That could be something your grandparents are taking into consideration, however unreasonable it may seem to you right now.

You say you are not planning to do anything when the gf is over. That's EXACTLY what your grandparents are concerned about. You think an 18 year old woman is with you for your brains? Sorry dear. You may have a strong connection and get along well but a woman's hormones rage at that age too. Sometimes you get caught in the moment and things happen that aren't planned. You are at a time in your life when you feel invincible and there's a sense of "it won't happen to me" or "I wouldn't do that" but you're human and 16, which means you're fallible.

You're in your grandparent's house so respect their rules and respect yourself. If you need privacy with your gf then go to her house or find a hang out. You're not going to change your grandparents opinion on the matter and its not a matter worth damaging your relationship with them over.