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scubagirl72
09-21-2009, 08:26 PM
We started off as coworkers and over the past two years it has turned into a great friendship. He is in a fulfilling relationship and so am I.

I really do consider him one of my best friends and we tell each other everything. It always seemed 'safe' because we are both romantically involved with other people. He is like the brother I never had.

He is so kind and thoughtful, would share his lunch with me when he knew I was too busy to get or prepare my own... surprised me by changing my car's burnt out breaklight for me... would loan me CD's that he knew I would like... always very sweet. He is just that type of guy.

I will admit that from the first time I met him I felt a 'spark'... like he was a kindred spirit. But I am also mature enough to know that a 'spark' can be a dangerous thing, especially when we are both involved in long term relationships.

I used to tease him about having a huge crush on him and the humour actually eased the ual tension I was feeling. Although when I was in close proximity to him I would feel it again.

We had spoken about our relationship and he was very honest and said that he'd thought about going further with it but that it wasn't worth risking what we both already had and I agreed 100% with him.

When we stopped working together I thought that I would slowly lose touch with him, but we have kept in contact and hang out fairly often. We have been very open with our partners and they are fully aware of our friendship.

Now... here's the problem, we went out the other night, just the two of us, not an uncommon thing. But, I had quite a bit more to drink than I normally would. I'll admit that my memory of things is a little foggy but I do know that we kissed in a more than 'friendly' way.

I'm afraid that we may have destroyed the platonic friendship we had and I just hope that we can get passed this and go back to what we had before. I do love him dearly and would hate to not have him be a part of my life.

I spoke to him the next day and we agreed that it was better to not ever say anything to our partners about it and that we will never, ever let anything like that happen again. It would just open up an enormous, ugly can of worms.

eightball61
09-23-2009, 11:09 AM
Ofcourse things will be wierd going forward. You both have talked about it and know the wrong doing since you both have partners. It would be an honest thing to do to tell your partners however it was just a kiss and both admitted that this wont happen again. At this point if you both hang out again then you'd have to seperate feelings to friendship and if not then its best to part ways.

You have to keep in mind that your partners trust the friendship that you both have. You both have broken that trust and needs to stop there. Again the friendship may be wierd going forward but just try to feel it out so you don't lose a good thing.

thoumas
09-24-2009, 04:01 AM
i probably wouldnt tell my partner... but i sure wouldnt try and have the same relationship with eachother. you to are bound to make another bad decision if you do. also, i dont think it would be a good idea to go out drinking with eachother again. if you to are ever free at the same time though, it sounds like you would be a good match.

i hope this all pans out for you.

sincerely,
T.J.

scionkid
09-25-2009, 12:01 AM
My uncle would always tell me if you really want to know what someone thinks about you get them drunk. Both of you crossed the line, if your relationships with your partners mean anything to both of you, you should end all contact, because you two crossed that line now it just take either one of you having a real bad day and talking to the other to take the next step.. but its all up to you, you know what should be done,

Caroline2009
11-28-2009, 04:44 AM
My uncle would always tell me if you really want to know what someone thinks about you get them drunk. Both of you crossed the line, if your relationships with your partners mean anything to both of you, you should end all contact, because you two crossed that line now it just take either one of you having a real bad day and talking to the other to take the next step.. but its all up to you, you know what should be done,

My uncle used to make me do inappropriate things with him.

http://relationshipforums.com/forum/showthread.php?p=44169&posted=1#post44169

Caroline2009
11-28-2009, 04:45 AM
http://i944.photobucket.com/albums/ad284/prettygirlspantry/lavender.jpg

Rich
12-01-2009, 06:26 PM
Was that a joke, Caroline?

Howard
12-01-2009, 08:26 PM
Was that a joke, Caroline?



You mean the picture of lavendar? :confused:

PrincessB
12-05-2009, 09:00 AM
I have to agree that you broke the trust your partners had in your friendship and you should come clean. Its only fair. If you can't be honest and honor the person you're with then you may not deserve to be with them.

You can't go back to the way things were either. Unfortunately, this is one of those life lessons where you must live with the consequences of your actions no matter how ugly it may be to face.

You did wrong but that doesn't make you a horrible person. The true test of character and integrity is what you do now.

Rich and Howard: I have to agree with Rich. I found Caroline's comment sketchy. Did the "Moderator" remove a pic? hmmm... the mystery continues....

CassandraR
12-05-2009, 10:10 AM
Apart from the kiss factor your post sounds something similar to me, I too had a crush on a co-worker about five years ago, even he liked me and shared a great friendship and we parted our own ways of life without breaking the platonic relationship we shared for one-n-half year. Regarding your matter, there is no need to worry about because it is better to keep it secret, the way we did in our relationship. Our partners were very possessive about us so we didn't shared anything about our friendship with them.

Howard
12-05-2009, 12:30 PM
Rich and Howard: I have to agree with Rich. I found Caroline's comment sketchy. Did the "Moderator" remove a pic? hmmm... the mystery continues....

But what was up with the lavendar pictures?