lost

[rigdig]

i was with the same women for 16 yrs and we have a 17yr old daughter and a 10 yr old son ....anyway 2 yrs ago i fell(i am sitting here with a cast on from my 3rd operation) and 2 weeks later i left..... i felt she forced me into leaving as she made living with her a living hell... well i have made my feelings clear to her that i still love her.... but all i get back is "i dont know if i love you"... i have tried 3 times over the last 2 yrs to work it out .... to me she was my soulmate and i dont want anyone else ... now i feel like i am losing my son as i cant provide the stuff she can.... she is a nurse making really good money ( i helped her get her nursing degree 2 yrs before we broke up) .... i dont get to see my daughter that much as she is on the go so much but i have had my son 3 or 4 days a week but i now feel he is likeing the fact that she can give him more than i can ... i am emoitionally drained and always seem to make the wrong move ... i always said i would be a better father than i had but i just dont seem to make the right moves

how do i get over her and save my relationship with my kids

[eightball61]

Your focus at this time should be one thing at a time. You have many things thats making your mind spin around with thoughts but its not getting you anywheres. If you feel you did the right thing at leaving then try to put that to rest and forward your focus on your children and your surgries. IT does take 2 people to love and if she can't love you back and after attemps things failed you made the right choice.

Right now, you are looking at the finacial side of things. Money will not by comfort with your children. You can plan to do other things with them besides spend. Sit with your children and and explain why thing are the way they are. You 17 yr may understand but the 10 yearold may not. When you son is over I know you are limited because you are in a cast bust try to do as much with him as you can. If he is into video games then by a play station and have time with him battling on what ever games. IT depends on his interest but find ways to keep active but cheap at the same time.

The other suggestion I have if you can afford it is to see a counselor to help you out and guide you through this. You need someone to talk too thats close and thats most likely why you feel this way right now. If you can't afford it then do some research in your local community or new paper to see any clinic or support groups they may offer.

I hope this suggestion helps some and please feel free to post anytime.

[rigdig]

i thank you for your insight .... its nice to have a place to post ur thoughts and problems and get a responce that helps

i do play with my son as much as possible ... we have a good relationship but i just feel it slipping away as he gets older and his mother gives him more.... planning a camping trip this summer... hoping that helps ... as far as my daughter goes ... i talk to her as an adult since she is 17.... we can have good conversations but i just dont get to see her much... i dont worry about my relationship with her as i do with him.... but i know i am a good father , so i hope it works out in the long run

[eightball61]

but i know i am a good father ,



& thats all your children ask of you to be ;)