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rcd
03-19-2005, 10:43 PM
Hello, I’m new here and I’ve come with a problem (go figure).

I’m 21, my girlfriend is 20, and her friend (Missy) is 19. My girlfriend and I live together and my girlfriend has started to hang out with Missy a lot lately. Now being 21, I have alcohol in my house, and my girlfriend drinks with me as well. About a month ago we let Missy drink with us and since then all the girl wants to do is drink when she comes over. I’ve made it quite clear to my girlfriend that I don’t want Missy drinking anymore here because my house is not the “I know someone who has a house and I can get drunk there” type of thing.

Fine. We decided the girl isn’t going to drink when she comes here. But when she comes over, the first thing she does is goes to the kitchen and scours the place for alcohol -- opens cupboards, opens the fridge, etc. If she finds the alcohol she starts making herself out a drink – most of the time I don’t realize this because I’m in another room with headphones on when they come in. I’m getting quite sick of this and my girlfriend is refusing to put her friend in her place. This girl needs to learn to have respect and that you don’t that stuff in someone else’s home. The thing is, I’d gladly put this girl in her place, but I know she’ll never want to talk to me again and I’ll have to hear about it from my girlfriend (even if I put it nicely to Missy).

Now I can’t even keep my own stuff in my apartment – I’ve had to put the alcohol in a storage room down the hall! I’m not here 24/7 and god knows where else the girl looks. I’ve found her digging through the medicine cabinet for stuff – which also ticks me off because I don’t like my privacy being invaded.

The other problem is that all this girl wants to do is drink when she comes over. I tell her we’re out of alcohol (when I really moved it to the storage room) and she doesn’t stop begging me to run to the store to grab some more. When Missy asks how we drank all that alcohol (because how dare we have a party without her), my girlfriend tells her that I drank it because “He’s an alcoholic”. My girlfriend isn’t a big help when it comes to getting me out of her friend’s begging me to go to the store. My only way out (because this girl doesn’t understand “no”) is becoming an asshole to my girlfriend which when her friend notes this, they both stay away from me.

And another thing is my girlfriend and I don’t get a lot of alone time – what I mean is that we don’t get much time to just sit down and watch a movie together. So when I asked my girlfriend what movie I should get for us tonight and Missy overheard – well, she offered her input after she invited herself. Now I’m stuck listening to Missy talk all night long while I try to watch a movie which I’ve been waiting all week to do with my girlfriend.

My girlfriend knows how much this crap is ticking me off and I hate it. When I find out Missy is coming over I literally just get so in rage because I know it’s going to be hell again. I don’t understand why my girlfriend finds it so hard just to say no to Missy. Missy doesn’t understand the word “no” and that’s not our problem. Missy gets all whiny when my girlfriend tells her she is going to hang out with me on a certain night and cries to my girlfriend about why she can’t be invited. Missy even did this when she found out she wasn’t “invited” on mine and my girlfriend’s vacation!

Advice please :)

smackie9
03-20-2005, 02:01 AM
This Missy girl is very lonely, insecure and has no friends. She wants to feel accepted and to be a part of something. Poor little Missy. Your girl friend doesn't want to hurt her feelings, and she knows she's made a mistake giving this girl alcohol. You are going to have to be the bad guy and tell her to go away for good, if you want things to change. You have to be cruel to be kind. :) Don't worry about Missy. She will find somewhere else to go.

eightball61
03-21-2005, 12:54 PM
This girl Missy has the power to ruin you relationship with your girlfriend. You and your girlfriend need to figure out whats more important to you all. Missy has been welcomed to you home and now has ruined the welcome. You are getting ticked off at her and now is turning to your GF which can lead to a failing relationship.

You both need to figure out a solution to this problem fast before it does settle as a breakup...

Your girlfriend doesn't like to say "no" but what about you? This is you house also and you have the right to say something in the house. This girl is a minor and if she was to leave your house drunk on night and gets into trouble you name will be brought up.

You can prevent this though and the only way of preventing it is not allowing her into your house or sitting her down at your house and tell her that she is no longer aloud to drink there because of the possibilities of what can happen. She is going to your house because she now has a place to hang out and drink and do what she thinks is fun. She over did it and is being very immature. You dont need beer to hang out all the time. This need to be brought up bluntly to her...