old/ current crush visiting

[nayders91]

Well my story is I have an old crush that I have not talked 2 in a long time. So he calls me yesterday and says, "hey guess what? I'm gonna b in IL 4 2 months." He lives in California by the way and I live in IL obviously. So of course my initial reaction is very excited even though he is an old crush. He does have a gf. So that is kind of my problem. I dont wanna c a guy I have a crush on who is taken even though he is a friend. The history of me and this guy is that we used to have a crush on each other but then he got a new gf and started dating her. But everytime something goes wrong in that relationship he always comes back to me expects me 2 flirt back w/ him like he doesnt have a gf. Now he is like "o I never talk 2 u anymore but now I wanna talk 2 u 24/7" Seems a lil suspious, no? Well he doesnt even mention his gf even if I ask him how she is doing, he just tries to change the subject. Idk if I should tell him I cant c him or just suck it up and hang out w/ him while he is out here. Help please

[eightball61]

Best approach is to be upfront and honest with him. May be hard bu he'll understand eventually. If you see him and the GF is not there one thing will lead to another. Best not to be in that situation.

[Rich]

He's looking to score while in IL. Either you want to get together for , or you don't. If he wanted you as a GF, he would have made a move a long time ago.

This is purely ual. Either you want to or you don't. There's nothing longer term here so go in with your eyes open to that fact.

[smackie9]

Just politely decline and tell him you couldn't possibly find time to see him. He'll get the message.

[Diablo]

I agree with Rich. If you want to have a roll in the hay with him. go for it. Be prepared for him to go back to his gf afterward.

[PhalThrax]

Hello, nayders,


But everytime something goes wrong in that relationship he always comes back to me expects me 2 flirt back w/ him like he doesnt have a gf. Now he is like "o I never talk 2 u anymore but now I wanna talk 2 u 24/7" Seems a lil suspious, no? Well he doesnt even mention his gf even if I ask him how she is doing, he just tries to change the subject.

As other posters have clearly stated, this is simply an attempt at acquiring you for ual means. The bold text should be noted in your quote; that's a clear indication of his intentions. His emotional instability and frustration with his relationship is guiding him to an absent relationship, simply from a physical and emotional standpoint. The fact that his girlfriend is cleverly nugatory throughout your conversations with him is the final confirmation that he has absolutely no interest in a relationship.

Don't subject yourself to potential harm; you deserve better than that.

Keep us informed as to how this progresses. Take care.