pete8876
10-20-2009, 07:18 PM
Ok, so here's my story:
I've been dating my girlfriend now for 3.5 years. At the very beginning of our relationship, I'd say a month in, she and her friends family went to Mexico together for a week. When she returned I asked her about her trip since she had no phone access down there. I learned that on her first night there, she danced with some guy she just met for 2 hours. This of course made me feel like shit. A week goes by and we go over to my gf's friends house that she went to mexico with. I see a stack of photos from the trip on the kitchen table and I grab them to look thru them. My girlfriend grabs them from me as if she doesn't want me to look thru them. I ask her what she has to hide from me, and she then lets me look. I see some stuff that truly upsets me. One where her face is pressed up against this guy's face, and another where she is sitting in his bed with him. I asked her if she kissed him or anything like that and she swears that she didn't. As time passed, I gained access to my girlfriends email account, where I discovered that she had about 5 lengthy emails with this guy from mexico. One night, this was months down the road from when the incident occurred, I confronted her about what happened in Mexico again. She swore nothing, and then I asked her if she had ever emailed the guy. She said no. I asked her again the swear that she had never emailed to guy. She said no, and I then told her that I knew she was lying and I had seen the emails. There was nothing inappropriate in the emails by the way, it was just strange how she revealed so much personal information in them.
So anyway, I've stayed with her thru all of this because of love I guess, she is my first girlfriend and I am pretty much her first BF. It has been 3 years since this happened, but it is still so clear in my mind like it happened yesterday. I love her and she loves me, but I can't help being suspicious, especially when she goes out with friends and stuff that she is flirting with other guys and hiding stuff behind my back. I am now 23 and she is 22. I still don't feel like I've received the clarification that I need from her about why she did this. I don't know if i'll ever be able to get over the deception. In the 3 years after this, she's not done anything of this nature and she genuinely loves me, but the fact that she did this once proves that shes capable of it. Had I been the person I am today and the girl I was dating for a month did this, I would dump her immediately. But when this happened I was new to relationships and stayed with here because I didn't know any better.
I love her, but is it worth it to constantly have to deal with these thoughts and stay with her? Any thoughts and advice from any of you on this forum would be great.
I've been dating my girlfriend now for 3.5 years. At the very beginning of our relationship, I'd say a month in, she and her friends family went to Mexico together for a week. When she returned I asked her about her trip since she had no phone access down there. I learned that on her first night there, she danced with some guy she just met for 2 hours. This of course made me feel like shit. A week goes by and we go over to my gf's friends house that she went to mexico with. I see a stack of photos from the trip on the kitchen table and I grab them to look thru them. My girlfriend grabs them from me as if she doesn't want me to look thru them. I ask her what she has to hide from me, and she then lets me look. I see some stuff that truly upsets me. One where her face is pressed up against this guy's face, and another where she is sitting in his bed with him. I asked her if she kissed him or anything like that and she swears that she didn't. As time passed, I gained access to my girlfriends email account, where I discovered that she had about 5 lengthy emails with this guy from mexico. One night, this was months down the road from when the incident occurred, I confronted her about what happened in Mexico again. She swore nothing, and then I asked her if she had ever emailed the guy. She said no. I asked her again the swear that she had never emailed to guy. She said no, and I then told her that I knew she was lying and I had seen the emails. There was nothing inappropriate in the emails by the way, it was just strange how she revealed so much personal information in them.
So anyway, I've stayed with her thru all of this because of love I guess, she is my first girlfriend and I am pretty much her first BF. It has been 3 years since this happened, but it is still so clear in my mind like it happened yesterday. I love her and she loves me, but I can't help being suspicious, especially when she goes out with friends and stuff that she is flirting with other guys and hiding stuff behind my back. I am now 23 and she is 22. I still don't feel like I've received the clarification that I need from her about why she did this. I don't know if i'll ever be able to get over the deception. In the 3 years after this, she's not done anything of this nature and she genuinely loves me, but the fact that she did this once proves that shes capable of it. Had I been the person I am today and the girl I was dating for a month did this, I would dump her immediately. But when this happened I was new to relationships and stayed with here because I didn't know any better.
I love her, but is it worth it to constantly have to deal with these thoughts and stay with her? Any thoughts and advice from any of you on this forum would be great.