I don't know what to do

[kingme]

:( I really don't know where else to turn. My whole relationship is long..but confusing... I'll try to sort it out... I met "Mit" long ago 15 years ago... we dated, then didn't, he got back with his ex she gets pregnant has child... he moves away. two years later he is back and not with her.. she is unfit so he takes responsibility for child. She is unstable and can't do anything for herself, she hounds him, borrows money never pays it back, bounces checks to childs school..her family doesn;t want anything to do with her so they leave her to him to deal with.. the list goes on... I have always been there for him and we moved in for about a two years.. things were good but child was with mother for this whole time cause she said she could handle it. She couldn't...we had to move out so he could take care of his child. But I went to take care of my mom who was ill. Things were fine and we still seen each other. He went back into his own business and things were still going good. He calls me alot during the day up and so do I. Well I called him last week and I caught him at a bad time while he was talking with his son. He was mad that i called in the middle of that.. but how was I to know... then I called later and he was busy. He usually calls me on Sat and he didn't so I called him he didn't answer. I called again later and nothing so he calls about 3pm and says he is at a poker tournament. Sunday rolls around and he doesn't call again.. so I call him and no answer he calls me back at night and all of the sudden he is mad. This has happened before and ok I do have a tendency to call alot. But now he doesn't want me to call him. he says he is busy with work and his son is off next week for spring break... well so am I. i ask him maybe we can get together but he said " I am busy" and that I amd calling at a bad time all the time i have been calling him. He can call me anytime he wants and I never had acted this way. Well I haven't called him but I do want to. What the heck does this all mean and why do I feel like the bad person here? I'm so sick of this stuff. i'm a nice girl who has been here forever for this guy. please help me out

[eightball61]

I'm so sick of this stuff. i'm a nice girl who has been here forever for this guy. please help me out

If you are sick of it then leave it all and move on. You have done many nice things for this guy and his mother for a long time but he never has shown appreciation for it. I could mention that he may be stressed over the whole situation with his ex. and his son but there are ways he could have prevented all of that from happening....First off he could have took her to court as an unsuited parent, also he didn't have to give her money except for child support, or he could have just used a in the first place..... & so with that said this was his mistake for allowing himself to be used by this women.

Now he doesn't want to talk to you anymore.... FINE ....just leave it then. It will be hard to get over but once you notice what I see here you will be glad to make that decision. You have done all you can....you even done more when you weren't even in a relationship with him(you were seeing him). Enough is enough and you doing more just proves it will not get him back nor will it make him respect you.

You are just someone that he knew would be there for him and he used you for that. You are a nice girl and you aloud to be taken advantage of by him. I don't mean to brag but I have been told I am a nice guy and I was taken advantage of that but now I am no longer friends with that crowd because of one little thing.........ready for this one???????





"I stood up for myself ":D :D




& you need to do the same once in a while. If you don't stand up for yourself than this stuff will happen to you. If you allow people to take advantage of you then all it will do is create insecurities and ruin your trust for other people you may meet in the future. I am not saying you have to be this hardcore Lita Ford type women but stand up for what you believe in more often.

I may have this all wrong and I apologize if I do have it wrong but this is what I see and I wanted to voice my opinion. Please take these words into consideration and see what happens.....

ps
you don't need him ;)



:)

[kingme]

I guess sometimes you need a kick in the pants.. This has happened for two long and of course I always let him be in control over the situation. This has happened before where if I call him he says " we talked about this" or "I'll Call you"... It does get old and yeterday i didn't call him... The sun did still come up this morning... even if it was a little overcast!
I know next week will be harder cause i'm in education and I have a week off for spring break vacation. I do plan on spending two days with my best friend and doing some things-but the other days I'm just shopping and I tend to do a lot of excercise when ever this stuff happens. I just don't want to be up at 3am like I have been thinking about all this stuff all over again.
I will give it all a go...

[eightball61]

I do plan on spending two days with my best friend and doing some things-but the other days I'm just shopping and I tend to do a lot of excercise when ever this stuff happens...

Use this vacation coming up like you want to use it. I can't say whether or not you may be stuck in a rut, but the goal is to keep busy and keep away dealing with him. He has stated this to you anyway and its best you just dump his number and move on. These things do take time to heal especially when all your feelings were committed to this one person but timing is your only answer. Use that time you now have wisely to do things for yourself and hang with people you haven't in a while because you were soaked up into this.

Don't fool yourself that everyone is like this because they are not. You will be starting over again but more to the direct of what you want rather than what you can't have. Set some goals for yourself and also things you always wanted to do but never have. It will be the matter if time when you get over this and when you do you will feel like a new person and be ready to date again.

You just have to be strong and stand up for yourself. You may get weak at times and we all do but dont let that weakness beat you. ;)