Divorce or stay?

[queeneve]

I've been in a relationship with my husband for almost 10 years, married for the past 5. We always got along very well, never seemed to have any problems with each other, we never argue, and we feel very comfortable together. He was my first real/long term bf, and my first and only person I've slept with. I've never been really attracted to him, and not that I know what it is due to my lack of experience, but I don't think we have "passion". I've always had doubts but he's such a good guy, really nice and caring, I feared I would lose a good thing and maybe making a huge mistake if I ended it. I am a much stronger and independent person now then I was when we met, and I wonder if I would choose him as is again. I am so confused right now. We recently actually brought this up, and he feels the same way, and we decided to see a couples shrink to help us figure things out, and have gone just twice now, but the things I want different are things I'm not sure he needs to change about himself and I don't know if I'm just being picky or what. I'm not interested in anyone else, I just always was curious and wondered if I was settling. But is that because I haven't dated much, or because my relationship is lacking? I do love him, and enjoy spending time with him, it just seems like something's missing. Unless Hollywood has just skewed my judgment. Maybe I'm expecting something that doesn't really exist. Sorry for the long post, some advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated. ...

[Diablo]

That Hollywood romance rarely exists in real life, if at all. Granted passion is mutual sometimes, but often people feel passion for someone completely wrong for them. I know someone with a degree in aerospace engineering, who should be knocking down a six figure salary. Instead, she's looking at five years in the callaboose and no job when she gets out, because she got involved with drugs and the wrong man. I wouldn't leave a good woman for a pie in the sky relationship with a woman I haven't met and that's about what you're considering. Since he's already discussed this with you, if you still have doubts later, talk to him about it. If he's having similar thoughts, you could at least have an amicable divorce.

[Caroline2009]

My therapist Ron Jennings has been so helpful for me with this. I think you're just a sweetie and you should talk about your feelings.