Newly Single & hating it!

[Dee4]

Hi,
I've just been dumped after two years and being single really sucks. Not having that person around is obviously tough to get use to cause my whole comfort and security zone is gone but I'm managing ok (I think!). What is really hurting me most thou is that all my friends are in heavy relationships and overly-occupied with their boyfriends. At the weekends i flick thru my phone to see if any of them wanta go out but their busy doing their own thing and that's understandable but I feel so lost and really need them. When i was still in my relationship with my ex b/friend my friends were around more then cause we would all go out together with our guys! They're really showing their true colours now and losing a boyfriend of two years isn't as near as bad as losing my pals of over 20years!

[eightball61]

It is a sucky position to be in but you dont want to become desperate can grab a rebound. You date only when your feelings and emotions are ready to again. We all go through breakups and some of your friends will be in your shoes when you are back on your feet...

What you need to do is find stuff around your area that singles do. alot of town and sities have singles groups and you can find them on the net or local paper. You dont have to ditch your friends but what you are trying to do is meet new people, bond with people in your shoes, and find a quicker healing to help you out.

Single life can suck but it also can be good. It sucks right now because you are used of having someone around. When you get over that stage you may like the idea of being free and dating around to see whats out there. Right now you have the chance to do things for yourself rather than worry about what the other person thinks or wants to do. See the positive out of this and only date when you are ready.

[NeverFall]

The good news is that when your friends go through the same thing, and most of them will, you can treat them with the care and love that you needed them to comfort you with. It is also good to be single, you can find yourself and get to know who you really are. Take what you learned from you relationship and apply it to your character, use it and find a person that is trully right for you. I tmay be sometime from now but I have been there and you are going to become a new kind of person. Pick up a hoddie (guitar is a great one) and have fun being you. Good luck and take care!

[Pamelina]

What a hard adjustment you're going thru, Dee. First to lose a sig other, than friends not being there for you. But I think that happens to just about everyone who has been in and is used to couplehood.

Still, I agree that you can really get to know yourself now and find new roads to fun/pleasure. One thing I did when my husband and I ended it, was to start doing all the things I just didn't seem to do when he was around--like listening to music I loved that he wasn't wild for and even complained about. How nice not to have to worry about that anymore. And do seek out other singles for friendship and things to do--you'll see they need you as much as you need them.

[Rykitten]

Dee, I share your pain. I am in the exact same situation. It really sucks when your friends aren't around when you need them most.

Something that has really helped me is my dog. I found her as I was going through the breakup, she's really been a blessing. I know that sounds silly but she really does cheer me up and give me something to do. Unconditional love at it's best. I take her for several walks everyday. It's also a great way to start conversations with people. Guys come up to me all the time when I walk her at the beach. I even had one guy tell me our dogs should hook up! :rolleyes:

If that's not an option for you, try joining a gym. I've spent a lot of time there during the past past month and it's paying off. Sometimes I feel like a loser when I'm there at 9pm on a Saturday night but it's better than being at home feeling sorry for myself.

It will get better, you will meet people. Just try to keep an open mind and don't be afraid to make new friends.