cvazquez
11-18-2009, 03:58 PM
hey i have a problem with this girl that i started talking to online about four months ago. we could talk for hours on the phone and we were planning on meeting this spring break. she is about to enter college, 18, and i'm about to graduate, 21. we had pretty strong feelings except there this one thing holind us(me) back; i was pretty jealous of her past physical experiences. it started at the end of september and slowly grew. yet things were still get good between us until it started get bad in the first week of november. it just came up in a conversation at one time and she was upset. yet things were still good. i actually came over it last week. i was feeling a lot better because we never brought up our past and she was feeling very happy as well as i was (even though we were happy, it was much better since there was no past jealousy problem). yet this past saturday she started talking about my physical experiences in the past, which lead me to think about her physical experiences in her past, and i wasn't feeling too good for the rest of the time talking. but then on sunday morning, i was feeling really angry and upset and i sent her this nasty email, saying how she shouldn't call me or email me because i was feeling very negative and that she doesn't have to hold her promise that we will meet. and then i realized afterwards what i did and sent her all of these apologies email. she was acting strange that sunday, i didn't know how much i upset her. she called me later that night to wish me luck on my test the next day. the following day she seemed she was getting better through emails, but then i had to go to class and she seemed to change her mind. i was sending apology emails on monday and then she wrote me one telling me i can keep the necklace, that she made for me, and that was it. i haven't emailed or called her since, today is wednesday, and i dunno what's going on. i actually thought things were going to get better again when i saw this video she posted on her facebook, it was a happy video that said Smile Again. i thought she forgave me and she was willing to move on. yet she hasn't talked to me since and now i feel she has completely forgotten about me. how could she loose feelings for me after 4 months of talking?? can jealous really do that? it's not like i was ever jealous when she hung out with other guys...she was living alone and she went on a few dates with guys because she had nothing else to do...i thought that was fine actually. it's just that this past jealousy was hurting me, yet i knew it could get better with time. yet i dunno if she's willing to give it another chance. of course i wouldn't be wasting my time with someone i've never met, yet i really felt like she felt too that we were both really worth it. physically, emotionally, we were so connected...except for this one thing. i know i shouldn't contact her because i know she'll be the one to contact me if she's interested, yet is there any hope for me? i just also can't believe she would move on like this because i know she was living a very lonely life...family issues, and i was such a big source of help in her life. she's told me before that if this wasn't solved that she wouldn't be able to do this. yet, i still can't believe that one email would change everything, and she won't give me a chance.