Don't know what to do!

[dazybear]

I was dating this guy "Josh" for seven months and things were so great between us. Although we lived in different towns we made it work and we were both in love with each other. Then in December the week before Christmas I spent three days at his house and things were great while I was there. I left his house on the Thursday. The following day I was going out of town for the weekend to visit some family . I got on the computer that night and he got online and he got off and didn't say anything to me. Then that Saturday and Sunday he did the same thing. By Sunday I was really worried that something really bad happened. Monday he finally talked to me and said that he was having a problem and didn't want to talk about it. Then three days later he was like I don't think our relationship is going anywheres and that we should go on. I thought this was strange because a few days before I went to his house he told me that we had a really good thing going and that I give him something to look forward to. I tried everything I could to get him to talk to me about what was going on but nothing worked so as much as I loved him I had no choice but to accept that we broke up. Then two months later his cousin "Bryan" calls me out of the blue and tells me that he doesn't know what happened between me and Josh but that Josh still really cares for me. Bryan told me that every time the subject of me or what happened comes up Josh gets choked up and gets teary eyed and everyone over there catches him still talking about me. Bryan also told me that Josh said he realizes that what he did was wrong and just doesn't know what to say to me. After about a week of getting Josh to talk to me a little every few days on the computer Bryan ask me to meet them at this club. While at the club Josh actually asks me to dance a lot. Four different times while dancing Josh gives me a really passionate kiss that he would have gave me while we were dating. Also while dancing I looked him in the eyes quit a few times and he gave me this look that you could see that he really cares for me. The club was doing this contest, and while watching the contest Josh held my hand and let me lean on him and it was like we were dating again. Bryan and my friend both told me the following day that they could see it in his eyes that he cares for me. My friend even said that a few times she saw Josh looking at me and that his eyes looked watery each time. He won't talk to me on the phone or anything but he will talk to me every few days on the computer. I keep telling Josh that I would really like to work things out so we can at least be friends but when I tell him that he really never says anything. Bryan says to give him time and my friend says that she thinks Josh might be trying to put his thoughts together. I don't know what to do. I know that Josh still cares for me but how can I get him to open up to me without pushing him away.

[Diablo]

This has nothing to do with feelings. Something's up with Josh that he isn't talking about. He could be in some sort of trouble, he could have a woman from his past complicating things for him, he could have bet more money than he had on a horserace and have people after him; we could speculate forever. But his saying, "I've got a problem" tells me that there's more to it than he and you and opening up. Set aside some time for it to either work out or not. If y'all aren't back together by the end of that time; you should move on. People loving each other is no guarantee that it will work out. And don't try to get Josh to talk about what the problem is. If he wanted to, he would have talked to you about it. It's just something you need to let him work out

[eightball61]

Some people just dont know how to communicate feelings. You dont realy have any control over this. All this comes from within himself. What he needs to realize though if he doesn't learn to be a big boy and go for what he wants then he will lose you again.

I can understand if he may not be a phoe guy but he was open with feelings before when he told you things are not working out. If he was open at that time then I can't see why not he can't be open now. He could be just afraid to lose you all in all. The problem though like I stated he will lose you if he keeps this up. What you can try to do is write him an email and seeing what is up and explain what you want from him. The only way is to be blunt to him and if he is afraid to lose you then he is going abouts it the wrong way right now.

[MissCheivious]

I know you want this to work out so I won't tell you the obvious about letting him go and he's not worth it. Guys are strange creatures IMO. The women they love/care about are almost always the first ones they won't open up to. Whatever your ex's problem is, he's making it your problem by not being at least a bit honest with you. No one runs hot and cold for no reason and more than likely, this issue is all him and has NOTHING to do with what you may or may have not done. If you push him into "working it out", you'll only get him running. Work in a relationship to most people means having to look at themselves and what they do to hurt the ones they love. Most people don't want to be forced into doing that so, as much as it hurts, you need to let him go (for now). Don't seek out talking to him. I know you'll want to but it's better if you let him alone. He knows he's hurt you and he knows he's being an ass by barely talking to you now so, your job is to show him that he needs to open up a little bit and be honest and tell you what the hell is going on. This is your life as well. I'm not saying don't ever talk to him but let him make the first move (not his cousin or his friend, HIM). If you still feel like you have a connection with him, don't let anyone tell you differently. Only the two of you know how you feel about each other but, don't get too wrapped up in thinking he cares about you so much that you don't see when he's being hurtful and disrespectful. Don't forget to consider your own feelings in all this. Whatever issue this guy has, a little time and space will do you both a bit of good. It's hard but sometimes it's the best thing. Good luck. :)