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View Full Version : Someone, please help me with my anger....


gant77
12-16-2009, 09:45 PM
Uggh, I am soo disgusted it hurts!
I don't even know where to start. Basically it's like this, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and his brother had a girlfriend that he had started seeing about a year earlier. Now, his brother at the time already had a girlfriend, but he met a girl at his job,(vulture is her name, you'll learn why) she happened to be the payroll person and she knew who made what, so she planned her move to my BF's brother cause he made A LOT of money. She knew he had a girlfriend but it didn't matter to her. He wanted to have the best of both worlds... the REAL girlfriend (of 10 years), and the Vulture. The real girlfriend wouldn't go for that so he went for the Vulture, but he always loved, and could never let go of the real one.
About a year ago, my boyfriends brother was diagnosed with Cancer and the prognosis was very bad, stage 4 with no hope of a cure. He passed 12/08/09.
Here is where my anger just won't let go.

A week or two before he passed the girlfriend took it upon herself to write out a Will, giving her EVERYTHING! This caused a huge uproar in the family due to the fact she never consulted with the family to see if they wanted senitmental items. She literally itemized EVERYTHING that wasn't nailed down in the house, including a car and all furniture and even workout/exercise equipment that didn't even belong to her, they belonged to my boyfriend, and she knew it. She was counting on everyone being so involed with grief that she could waltz out like a bandit, and no one would question her.

To make it worse, she didn't even show up to the FUNERAL, CEMETARY, or the RECEPTION! She was oo busy back at the house PACKING!!!! She didnt even cry when he passed at the home! She smiled and said he was in a better place now! WTF?!?!?! When we went to the Mortuary to view the brother for the last time, she didn't even go up to the Casket to say goodbye! She claimed she loved him so much, but she does this s*&T???
I had to sit there and see my future mother in law suffer not only the loss of her son, (at 37), but suffer the embarrasment of having to wonder why this person who claimed to love her son to no end, was no where to be found.

She never came to the house or called or anything! She was just concerned about getting everything out of the house and getting the money the boyfriend gave her. She even told the boyfriend not to give the family more than $1000.00 for funeral expenses, even after he agreed to give them $5000.00!!! She wanted to make sure she came away with as much money as possible. During the discussion over the various accounts that the brother had, and who got what, she made sure that the account going to his Mother had the LEAST amount of money in it! She moved most of the money into the accounts the brother was giving her.

She once told me, while the brother was sick, that if he didn't marry her or give her kids, she was GOING TO LEAVE HIM. She wanted to be married and taken care of. I did tell my boyfriend, but he didnt want to rock the boat and he felt that, that's what his brother wanted. I tried to explain at the time she was going to get worse and the family needed to step in, no one did. As the brother became progressively worse, she got more evil! She had the nerve to tell my boyfriend that she didnt want the family giving him any food, except for salads! WTF! Salads for someone dying, who needs to gain weight to keep strong. This Vulture was NUTS!

She eve told the mom that she needed all the keys back because she didnt want people coming to see the brother and that it bothered her to have all the family around. The mom told her that she would gladly take her by her hair, and beat her all around the house!

There are so many more examples of the evilness that is this thing. I believe that Hell has a special place for her, and even the Devil is ashamed of the behaviour! Im just SOOOOOOOOOO pissed at her, I never liked her from day one, and I am just still shocked by the gall of this.

eightball61
12-20-2009, 01:19 AM
Time to present the case to a lawyer.

adoodle
12-20-2009, 04:18 PM
Uggh, I am soo disgusted it hurts!
I don't even know where to start. Basically it's like this, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and his brother had a girlfriend that he had started seeing about a year earlier. Now, his brother at the time already had a girlfriend, but he met a girl at his job,(vulture is her name, you'll learn why) she happened to be the payroll person and she knew who made what, so she planned her move to my BF's brother cause he made A LOT of money. She knew he had a girlfriend but it didn't matter to her. He wanted to have the best of both worlds... the REAL girlfriend (of 10 years), and the Vulture. The real girlfriend wouldn't go for that so he went for the Vulture, but he always loved, and could never let go of the real one.
About a year ago, my boyfriends brother was diagnosed with Cancer and the prognosis was very bad, stage 4 with no hope of a cure. He passed 12/08/09.
Here is where my anger just won't let go.

A week or two before he passed the girlfriend took it upon herself to write out a Will, giving her EVERYTHING! This caused a huge uproar in the family due to the fact she never consulted with the family to see if they wanted senitmental items. She literally itemized EVERYTHING that wasn't nailed down in the house, including a car and all furniture and even workout/exercise equipment that didn't even belong to her, they belonged to my boyfriend, and she knew it. She was counting on everyone being so involed with grief that she could waltz out like a bandit, and no one would question her.

To make it worse, she didn't even show up to the FUNERAL, CEMETARY, or the RECEPTION! She was oo busy back at the house PACKING!!!! She didnt even cry when he passed at the home! She smiled and said he was in a better place now! WTF?!?!?! When we went to the Mortuary to view the brother for the last time, she didn't even go up to the Casket to say goodbye! She claimed she loved him so much, but she does this s*&T???
I had to sit there and see my future mother in law suffer not only the loss of her son, (at 37), but suffer the embarrasment of having to wonder why this person who claimed to love her son to no end, was no where to be found.

She never came to the house or called or anything! She was just concerned about getting everything out of the house and getting the money the boyfriend gave her. She even told the boyfriend not to give the family more than $1000.00 for funeral expenses, even after he agreed to give them $5000.00!!! She wanted to make sure she came away with as much money as possible. During the discussion over the various accounts that the brother had, and who got what, she made sure that the account going to his Mother had the LEAST amount of money in it! She moved most of the money into the accounts the brother was giving her.

She once told me, while the brother was sick, that if he didn't marry her or give her kids, she was GOING TO LEAVE HIM. She wanted to be married and taken care of. I did tell my boyfriend, but he didnt want to rock the boat and he felt that, that's what his brother wanted. I tried to explain at the time she was going to get worse and the family needed to step in, no one did. As the brother became progressively worse, she got more evil! She had the nerve to tell my boyfriend that she didnt want the family giving him any food, except for salads! WTF! Salads for someone dying, who needs to gain weight to keep strong. This Vulture was NUTS!

She eve told the mom that she needed all the keys back because she didnt want people coming to see the brother and that it bothered her to have all the family around. The mom told her that she would gladly take her by her hair, and beat her all around the house!

There are so many more examples of the evilness that is this thing. I believe that Hell has a special place for her, and even the Devil is ashamed of the behaviour! Im just SOOOOOOOOOO pissed at her, I never liked her from day one, and I am just still shocked by the gall of this.


I read your post and can understand your plight more than you know as I am also someone with cancer,
but heres the thing...................... he man who died was not legally married and can leave his money to whoever he wanted. I am sorry to tell you this but even if you contest the will, it may prove fruitless because a person can leave their money to whomever they want.
Just because your dating or living with someone, OR EVEN MARRIED TO THEM, does not mean that person is entitled to any of your assets should you pass away. I am telling you this as a person WITH ASSETS who also has cancer, and I'm married. Even in my situation that I'm legally married, I do not have to leave anything to my husband.
Its the same principal in your concerns of the deceased mans situation
( to be honest, whom he leaves his money to, is not any of your business)
only he wasn't even married.
If he was so concerned about his GF, he would have married her and made a will to give her everything and apparently from the way things actually happened, that was not his intent.
Could be you are unaware of the day to day life he had and why he may have wanted to leave his stuff to someone besides his GF.
I sure don't mean to invalidate your concerns, but just letting you know some facts.
That he had brain cancer, she can maybe contest the will, but don't be surprised if she ends up with nothing. The judge is going to look at it from a perspective that they were not married and he can leave his money to anyone he wants.

adoodle
12-20-2009, 04:21 PM
I am also very sick and will leave my money to whoever I damn well please.

eightball61
12-20-2009, 04:46 PM
Adoodle is correct however it still may not be a bad idea to find a free consultation with a lawyer. Sure they will tell you what you want to hear and may not be worth the fight but a good lawyer may beable to find a loop hole if you feel there is any. If there is not then you do loose out.

adoodle
12-20-2009, 06:24 PM
Be sure you have some money before you attempt to contest a will. That is not a criminal mattr but a CIVIL one and most civil attorneys cost for handling a case liek that will require a 10,000 retainer to work the case.
If your broke and do not have money to fight and contest, your just wasting your time and could be slapped with a FRIVILOUS lawsuit change yourself, end up losing everything you have.

I know more about these matters than I like, only because I have had experience with them. I just want you to know what it will take to contest someones will.

If your not ready for all that or unable to do that with your personal resources, I suggest you get some counseling for anger and work on that.

Best to you ;)

timeout
12-21-2009, 02:14 AM
What a B&%*^! I feel terrible for the mother and the family. I have no legal advice but I like to believe that it will come back to her at some point.... bad karma.

adoodle
12-21-2009, 01:08 PM
Now, his brother at the time already had a girlfriend, but he met a girl at his job.


Sounds to me like he was not dating exclusively. Are you sure he had a exclusive girlfriend? does not sound like it to me.
I don't think any judge is going to side with you that he had a real girlfriend and another girlfriend who was less.
The fact is, he was unmarried.

Was he even living with either of these women and/ or on a legal contract that he was? like a rental lease?
and if so, the judge will still not be inclined to think that makes for a common law or other exclusive relationship.

I'm sorry but I don't think your anger is justified. People can date whomever they want, even if the other person has other things in mind or delusional about the relationship.
My husbands daughter id like that... she dated a guy and kept breaking up with him but wouldn't leave him alone. I don't know why, maybe she did not want to face the rejection as he broke up with her, yet she kept calling him and begging to go back and work on her issues. He saw her maybe for casual as she made herself available to him for it, yet she sought other men too, maybe to spite him. This went on for a long time, she had no plans to marry him or live with him.
Made no sense to me other than her ego could not deal with getting dumped and she could not move on. She was full of spite and malice and did many things to build her ego by dating others as well as him.
It was seriously crazy ( as much of what she does is seriously crazy) and she kept on until he was killed in a unfortaunet turn of events which she claims she had nothing to do with. Now he is the love of her life.
so...
people can create senerios andf relationships in their minds that are not actually based on any reality or actuality.

gant77
12-23-2009, 07:43 AM
then I could care less about who he left his money too. This person was evil, she didn't deserve it, but no one is contesting it. She is already back in Oregon and the family is glad she is gone. He did have a exclusive relationship with the Vulture, after he cut it off with the first girlfriend. He was a HARD worker who was dedicated to his job, so he didnt have time for multiple realtionships.
He had been with his previous girlfriend for over 10 years and they had purchased a house together.

I guess I was looking for someone to agree with me that she was evil or what not and a real loving person would not have been motivated by greed, and disrespect his family. She was only with him for security and money, she was planning on leaving him if he didn't marry her.

I wish you the best adoodle, and pray that there are no Vulture type people in your life, and that you are loved with full honesty and value by all involved.