Depressed

[bdtraders]

Me and my SO have been through alot as my previous posts have stated. We have had out ups and downs like any relationship but this one takes a toll on my heart different then the others. 99.9% of the time when we have a disagreement or argument like all couples do I get real depressed and start questioning everything in my head.
Case and point last night we had a very small disagrement over a very trivial issue that was resolved and we were back to laughing and joking around in 30 minutes. Today I awoke and feel depressed and have lack of energy over the stupid little tiff last night. I called her at work cause she had a early moring shift today and told her I love her, she asked if everything was ok and I said yea well no for some reason I just feel sad. She said sorry and was there anything she can do. I said no its just me.
Can anyone offer me any suggestions on this, am i a basketcase, clinicaly depressed, need therapy, or is it just the effects of true love. Why do little things effect me so much that make me question if people care about me? I know she loves me with all her heart, she shows it and says it and writes me notes she leaves around our house to tell me how she feels. Why do I get like this, it effects my hapiness and my job. I already hate my Job but then when im like this i hate it even more and it effects my productivity.
PLEASE HELP!!!

[PreciousYaya]

I cannot offer you any advice because I feel like i am going through the same thing with my bf. Just recently i have been feeling depressed, like if he doesn't care and all that. I should not feel this way because he tells me how he feels, and he has not done anything for me to feel this way, yet i still do. Last night we had an argument, and like you, a few moments later we were laughing. I went to bed thinking everything had been resolved, yet i woke up this morning feeling extremely upset, and I dont know why. I do not want to be upset or depressed because i feel that this gets in the way of us having a healthy, happy relationship. I guess my problem is that when ever he says/does anything that upsets me i ignore it, and pretend it never happened. Then i guess I choose a day and let it all out, and I end up getting upset all over again. I dont think this is fair to him because many times he doesn't know why I am upset. I wish I could help you out, but I feel the same way. :(

[Rich]

You might be manic depressive?

You're definately an insecure person or else little things wouldn't bother you.

You're also a pessimist instead of an optimist.

Remember this. Happiness is not a destination, but rather how you travel.

You can go get help to get properly labled and treatment. Or you can go it on your own to somehow build up your confidence level and your outlook on life.

You're living, breathing, on this earth, doing ok in life and have a great girl that loves you to death and shows you that every day. Life is great, man! Enjoy it. Be happy.

Try reading the book, "Don't sweat the small stuff". That might help you.

Try looking all around you at what's happening on this planet with the earth quakes, tsunami's and natural disasters that affect so many people and then look at how good you have it compared to them. Feel lucky.

Life is good and is too short to always be worried and depressed. Enjoy life and live every moment as if you only had a short time to live.

Also remember that we're human beings. Not human doings. Be happy.

Rich

[eightball61]

Your probably feeling this way because you are sick of the fighting over small stuff. I did tell you that there will come a time when you aill see know hope and then you'll need to make a decision. I know you love her but are you prepared to live a life of this with her? If you are having troubles now its only going to get worse. She has proven no change yet so I don't think she will ever change her ways.

She acts this way to get what she wants. She doesn't want to be wrong and thats where these little fights come in. She has to expect that in life she will be wrong and has to accept that things won't always go her way.

She is working the relationship the way she wants it and she owns you. You are so whipped to her and thats why you have a hard time trying to stand up for yourself. Don't take this as a knock because I am in the same boat. I will be the first to admit that my GF's does own me but in the last few months I have gained confidence in standing up for myself. You are doing the same thing but as you see its not doing a damn thing.

I can't diagnose you with depression but maybe seeing doctor may help. You need to make an a choice on what YOU want. Sticking to her may just be a life full of this. You really need to think about what YOU want. Being tied up to her and being control by her I am sure is not what you want since you are feeling like this. You need to act as an adult and make an adult decision to what will be "healthy" for you in the long run.

[bdtraders]

Last night wasnt her it was me, I was the one that got the attitude and lashed out at her. As far as her changeing she has, little by little, its not all going to happen overnight.
Yea I am whipped, and so is she. We have both said that even though we have our fights we both care about each other tremendously, and that we are so in love with each other that we both get defensive and dont want to let the other person hurt us. She has made alot of changes in her day to day attitude, so your statement is not 100% accurate. She has made changes.
The whole point of this thread was why do i feel this way and how do i overcome it. I know me and her have our issues because of her, but this issue is because of me, and i dont want it to become a bigger issue.
She has opened up alot and has become the loving person that I once new before we got so serious and scared in love. I dont want to screw it up by feeling insecure or depressed at times and question her love for me when I know without a shadow of a doubt she loves me and wants me for the rest of her life.
This time its not her ITS ME.

[eightball61]

Your Question: "Why I feel this way"

I guess my opinion wasz not clear enough in the other post but to make it simple I think you feel this way because you are warn out over this whole thing....You are blaming yourself like you cause all the fights. You both had a little fight last night. You are at the point where you don't know what to do know.

You have been having nothing more but grief in this relationship than happiness. My point to the other post was to make YOU think about what is really going on here. My question to you is " wouldn't you love to share yourl life with someone you can be happy with?"

I am not telling you to break it off to her. I am just trying you to take a look at the real picture. Just because you start one fight doesn't mean you have to kick yourself and blame yourself as hard as you are. You feel like this (in my opinion) because you have no where to go and you are lost. You see all the fights happening and barely seeing any true happiness. You both play a triva game and that still irks a fight to happen.

You can't keep hiding the fact on whats happening here and its not ALL YOUR fault. She is the reason why you came here in the first place. I told you before a change doesn't happen over night but she should be catching herself when she does start up by this point. She should be able to see what she starts and try to work it out. I don't expect her to be an angle yet nor may ever. My girlfriend is still going through those phases but I see the change when she apologizes for starting up and issue.

There is hope but there is only so much you can give. I can't tell you why you are depressed but you need to start seeking more happiness and you need to decide where you are going to find that for the future.

[bdtraders]

I think alot of it might have to do with I live 60+ miles from my only two real friends. I like you have only a couple friends cause i dont trust others to not stab me in the back. Because of this i have no friends near wher eme and her live now. So my days consist of going to a job i hate, and then going home. I have no real hobbies cause most of my free time i try to spend with her and the kids.
I think I need a hobby! or something to break up the same $hit different routine of my life.
My GF is alot like yours and most recently (last week or so) she has admitted when she is wrong and apologizes.
She has also expressed the concern above that I need to get out more and its ok for me to do thing without her and the kids sometimes.
As far as me and her its been going really good lately except when I stick my foot in my mouth like i did last night..lol
but yes i agree im tired of what has happened thus far in our relationship that i am at the end of my rope. I know me and her will go on forever cause she does make me very happy and i love her with all my heart (much like you and your GF), and everyday is a progression.
So things i need to do is get a job that satisfies me, as well as a hobby to occupy my time.

[eightball61]

If you see the future with her in your heart then you go for that goal. Sure thier will be bumps along that path but you will have to learn to accept who she is. You now have gained the confidence to speak up and you keep that a float. Only time will tell where things really lead but if she makes you happy then keep in that direction. If you sense things are not changes and the fighting is still going on down the road you may have to rethink your plan though if you are looking to be happy...