My Godmother has left me (her godson) £3500, should I share this with my siblings?

[pondrop]

Hello, as above I've been left some money by my late godmother and I really don't know if the right thing would be to share it with my 2 siblings, or maybe some of it. I would really like to clear my credit card of £1800 but want to do the right thing - what is the normal thing to do in this situation - it was left to me in the will and my siblings don't know anything about it.

I'm pretty sure if the same thing happened to my sister she would just keep it all - but she is a bit more self centred than me! As for my brother, I really don't know. Many thanks for any advice.

J.

[adoodle]

Your siblings dont know about it and I wouldnt tell them. If she intended them to have any of it, they would have been named in the will.
Get the money, pay off your debt and dont ever talk about it. Its NO ONES business but yours.

[PrincessB]

I agree with adoodle. Your siblings were left out of the will for a reason and you should respect that. Clear your debt and let your conscience be free.

[Howard]

You could try to budget the money and divide the amount and give some to those who need it and help them out.

[Rich]

Your Godmother is dead. You will have to live with your siblings for quite a number of years. If it's a small sum, then keep it as they'll never know. If it's a larger sum, then divide it up and have a clear conscious.

Your Godmother might not have liked your siblings, but that doesn't mean that you don't like them either. It could also mean that she left it to you because she WAS you Godmother.

Again, if it's a smaller sum like a grand or two, just keep it and do your thing. Aske yourself this, what if she left you a hundren bucks? Would you share it? If not would you feel guilty about not sharing it?

[Howard]

What have you decided to do with the money?

[pondrop]

Thanks so much for all your responses. What I'm thinking at the moment is to pay off my credit card of £1800 and then give £500 to my sister, £500 to my brother, £500 to my mum & dad (not that they'll accept it but if they don't I'll just buy them a holiday) and then I'll have £300-£400 to put towards a new TV.

How does that sound? Am I being reasonable there?

My only concern is that when I say to my sister - here is £500 she instantly wants to know how much I was left - and then flies off the handle when she finds out - I don't know if she would, it just wouldn't surprise me.

Rich - if I'd been left anything more than £10,000 I'd have just split it equally.

Thanks again for all your help, it has really helped and any further help is much appreciated.

Cheers.

[Diablo]

She left you 3500 pounds. Pay the debt of 1,800 pounds and then decide what to do with the rest of it. You're not obligated to share it all or any of it for that matter. She left it to you because she wanted you to have it. If you feel like you have to, a hundred or two to your siblings would suffice.

[pondrop]

(I did send a msg before but it hasn't appeared yet so this might get duplicated)

Thanks a lot for all your advice it has been really helpful. I think I'm going to go with paying my credit card off of £1800, then with the remaining money: £500 to my sister, £500 to my brother and £500 to my mum & dad (though they prob won't accept it - but if not I'll buy them a holiday). That will leave a few hundred ( I actually got £3700) which I'll keep for myself.

Does this sound ok?

The only thing is I'm a bit concerned that when I offer the money to my sister she'll ask how much I got and that might end up causing a load of hassle when I tell her.

I should add that the reason I was left the money was because all her god children were left money - it was not because she disliked my siblings or anything like that, I think it was just her way of splitting the money up.

Thanks again for all the help and I really appreciate any further thoughts.

[Howard]

She left you 3500 pounds. Pay the debt of 1,800 pounds and then decide what to do with the rest of it. You're not obligated to share it all or any of it for that matter. She left it to you because she wanted you to have it. If you feel like you have to, a hundred or two to your siblings would suffice.

Right,divide the money in half,use some for stuff you need to do around the house then give some to the siblings.

[Diablo]

If giving your sister 500 pounds would cause a row if she knew how much you got; she's got some issues. This is going to be a free 500 pounds to her which is more than fair. Nobody should complain after getting a gift of 500 pounds. How much you got is shouldn't matter. You're giving her a free money. What you suggested is more than fair.

[PrincessB]

Your concerns have been addressed by many many etiquette coaches and relationship experts. From every response I have read or heard on the matter, you are under no moral/social/legal obligation to share your inheritance with your siblings. In fact, often people are cautioned about revealing such windfalls (even though yours was in the low thousands) as they can strain your living relationships.

Is it worth cutting in potentially ungrateful siblings which may result in a rift that could be altogether avoided? Its up to you but you would not be considered selfish or immoral by keeping the knowledge of your inheritance to yourself. It is a private matter.

[adoodle]

If you decide to share it, expect some drama as they will want to know how much you go tand then complain they werent treated "fairly"
Your opening up a can of worms in my opinion, and should just keep your mouth shut. There will be times in life you can help them with the money if youjust wait the opportunity will present itself.

[Howard]

or you can just keep the money for yourself.

[adoodle]

how much is L3500 in american money?

not that my feelings about sharing would change but just wondering.. is it like millions or something?

[Howard]

how much is L3500 in american money?

not that my feelings about sharing would change but just wondering.. is it like millions or something?

L must be British for pounds.

[pondrop]

Thanks again everyone.

I have to say I'm beginning to think twice about this now after reading some comments as I agree that it might just unnecessarily open a can of worms - maybe I might be best just keeping it and giving my mum and dad say a grand and saying to them that if they want to treat my bro and sis then fair enough (my mum and dad know about the money btw). OR maybe I should just split it all - 1200ish GBP each (split between me, my sister and my brother). Aargh this is getting complicated!!!

To be honest I was originally meant to be getting around 7500GBP (1200USD) and I had planned to just split it as this would have given me enough money to pay off credit card, however because of complications with the house and the housing market not being great in UK at the time the house was auctioned and so I received 3500 (which I'm obviously still very grateful for). I have asked my parents but they just say it is up to me, however when we found out it was going to be quite a bit less than we thought my mum did say I might as well just keep it for myself - I wish I'd just said I would but I thought it would be best to split some of it.

adoodle yes L is GBP and 3500 is approx 5600 USD - does that change things, what do you think you would do given the circumstances?

Many thanks again.

[Diablo]

I'm not sure, but I think a pound is worth approximately twice as much as a dollar, or at least it was a while back ago. That would make the inheritence approximately $7000.00. The rate may have changed since the recession started.

[Howard]

I'm not sure, but I think a pound is worth approximately twice as much as a dollar, or at least it was a while back ago. That would make the inheritence approximately $7000.00. The rate may have changed since the recession started.



Wow,that sure is a lot of dough to leave behind. :eek:

[charles457]

Just do what you want with it unless it makes you feel bad too spend it by yourself. I personally would spend most by myself and save the rest to spend with family.

[Diablo]

My advice is the same. First pay off that credit debt because it could a long time before you get another opportunity to do so. Then decide what to do with the rest of the money. We really can't tell you what to do here. Since it's less than expected, perhaps you should just keep it, or give your bro and sis less than you originally planned. But first and foremost, pay off the credit debt. That being unpaid can hurt your credit for a long time. Your Godmother meant for that to be your money, so you're not obligated to give some to your siblings. Perhaps you could get the two extra nice Christmas gifts. Ja, Christmas is long ways off, but you would have Christmas covered for them and they don't have to know about the money.

[pondrop]

Hello, thanks a lot for all your advice. If anyone's interested I decided to pay off credit card then give £500 to my bro, £500 to sis, £500 to mum&dad and I kept the rest (£450).

My sis did ask how much I got - I just told her around £3000 which was a little bit of a lie (but not too far off) but she was ok about it - in fact they were all chuffed so I'm glad I did that.

Thanks loads for all your help.

Best wishes