My girlfriend doesn't seem commited.

[Mingolsbane]

Hello, had to delete this.

[eightball61]

You are coming in the real world while she still has a few years of the relaxed life. You have goals that you want to fulfill while she is still unclear to what she wants with her life. What you are trying to get out of her is something you may not get till she is older. She still has the mind set of sophmore and many kids her age don't really know what the term commitment is. You are trying to push her to be an adult and she is clearly telling you that she is not.

LDW relationship can and can't work. I don't want to put any doubt in your mind but you have to understand when you leave it will be very hard to maintain a relationship at her age. Teens can go through change rapidly and down the road she may not want to have this relationship and may want to live a little before she gets to committed.

This is something that you both will need to talk about and monitor really well. Its not a bad thing to try things out to see what happens but you need to remember it will take two people to make this whole thing work. Communicate with her more and see what works out from there. If she keeps saying she is just not ready then you know your answer to your problem and its time to move on and seek elsewhere when you hit the realworld.

This may not be what you wanted to hear but to me this is what it seems like she wants at this time. Its really hard to pick what she is thinking in her mind and communicating with her will help you out getting to know that but in the mean time time will only tell what may or may not happen. In life things are not always fair and you will see that more as you go on more with hitting the real world. This is how you learn about life though.

[Diablo]

Snap out of it and join the Navy. My read is that she changed her mind because she's set on marrying a virgin and you're not one. She's dancing around the subject because she's afraid to say it. She has feelings for you or she wouldn't be. She could decide later on that marrying a virgin isn't too terribly important, but right now to her it is. Leave open the option of staying in touch when you go to school because this could work out in the long run if you keep things amicable with her.

[Rich]

I agree with Diablo. Join the Navy!

You're making a life altering decision on a 16 year old girl whose thoughts and wishes are going to change daily and monthly. Why?

If joining the Navy has been a life long dream, with family history, then it must be something that is felt deep within your soul.

Who knows, maybe it was what you came into this life to do.

Your GF's decision to only want to marry a virgin is a childish fairy tale desire that will die a quick death within the next few months or year. She's holding to the view now, but it will change.

Go into the Navy and live your life for YOU. Make YOUR way in this life. What if you don't join the Navy now and you don't wind up with this girl in the end? You'll live with regret and what could have been dreams for years to come. Don't do that to yourself.

For someone who is supposedly smart, has passed entrance into the Navy's nuclear program and who is making a choice to change their life's dream on someone who has told them that they can't see them getting married together, your decision doesn't seem that intelligent. No offense intended.

Also, relationships that ultimately work over the long run are ones in which two people truly desire to WANT to be with each other. Not that they NEED to be with each other.

You mentioned in your post of your NEED to be with this girl to make you complete. So in effect you're telling us, that as a person, that you're incomplete. What's incomplete about you that you need this girl to fill? Wouldn't it be better to go into a relationship with another person as a WHOLE person as opposed to an incomplete one? I think so.

Over time, needy people in relationships become a burden and nuisance to their partners. People have a tough time making it through life trying to live their own lives. When one has to prop up and or support their partner to help THEM make it through life, it becomes too much after awhile and the relationships fold.

IMO, live your life and work to make YOURSELF whole and well rounded as a person. Don't count on others to do that for you.

To me, an incomplete person can be viewed symbolically as a half of a circle. When two incomplete circles, or people come to together,they form a whole circle. Now, most weddings that you go to today, the priest or minister will use that circle or ring as a symbol of the relationship never ending. That's all nice and everything, but it's crap. Two incomplete people never last. That circle is a zero in my view.

Now, take the flip side of that and view a complete person as a whole circle. What happens then when two complete people come together? Passing the nuclear test you must have a good knowledge of math. What's two circles side by side? Why it's the symbol for infinity. Infinity is forever and it's my belief the two whole people will last alot longer than two incomplete people. Logically, which is more, a zero or infinity? ;-)

I went along way there, but my point is that you should work to make yourself and your life complete. Do what YOU need to do to accomplish that. Don't do things for your GF's life, do them for yours.

Join the Navy if that's what you wanted to always do. Become a nuclear engineer if that's been your life's dream to do. BTW, it's also a very good living. You can very adequately support a wife and children as a nuclear engineer.

I passed the Navy's nuclear program as well when I was deciding what service that I wanted to go into. I know that they will send you to school (a lot of schools) and you will earn you B.S. in Nuclear engineering. Not a bad degree to have if that's a life dream. And they pay for it. Actually you will strictly go to college for the next 4 years and then you'll owe them 6 or 8 more years after that. At least that was the deal back in 1985.

All that I am saying is that you're young and you have your whole life in front of you. The decisions that you're making now will affect you for the rest of your life and you're basing it on the wishes and thoughts of a 16 year old, virgin girl??????????? Hello...earth to Mingolsbane.

Are you sure that you want to be a nuclear engineer. What are you going to do if you're on shift, the core has started melting and YOU'RE faced with a life and death decision that will possibly affect millions of people? You need to know your shit and be confident way beyond all hell and make the right decisions on what to do. Can you do that? Do you want to do that? IMO right now you're certainly not confident in who you are, what you want or in making the wise choice.

Just some things to consider and no offense to you.

Good luck.

Rich

[inquisitive]

You should join the Navy. Don't change your mind because of her.

Her wanting to marry a virgin is not childish, and not a fairytail. Depending on her background she may stick to that. I know numerous religous people that waited til' they got married to have (both parties) What if she does? Then you'll be giving up your dream for nothing. I know you don't want to hear about ages, but she's 16. She's going to change her mind alot in the next little while. When I was 16 I was with a man I thought I'd marry. We both thought, and said so. He was 18 at the time. We broke up and I am now with someone completely different, and have been for almost 4 years.

Don't give up on your dream. If she loves you and chooses to be with you then she can wait for you!