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WhatAMess
01-09-2010, 03:20 PM
So Thursday night I told him that I wanted to end our relationship. We have had lots of fights, one night even pouring alcohol on me. My older daughter hated him and was to the point of saying that if he and I stayed together she'd either hurt him or herself... so enough was enough.

I told him it was over. I told him that we got along well in many areas but in others we were too different. Our fights were not good. He'd always threatened when I'd go to my friends that he'd kill himself and it always brought me back.

So I left Thursday around 7pm and went to my girlfriends house. He texted me over and over and over and around 10pm the texts stopped. I thought he'd drunk himself into unconsciousness so I went to bed, got up, went to work yesterday. I tried emailing him and calling him with no response. I had my girlfriend call him to see if he was just ignoring me. When I didn't hear back from her. I called her and she said she had texted me and I didn't get it.

It was then that I realized my memory was full. I cleared out all my texts and restarted my phone. This was around 2pm yesterday. I saw he had continued to text me and the last three I received from him were: "thank you for leaving me your antidepressants" "say goodbye to Meagan (my younger daughter) for me" and "make sure Brodie (our dog) goes to a loving home for me"

At that point I called the cops and had them go to my house. They found him unconscious but alive. The paramedics took him to the hospital. I went to see him and after he was stable they let me go in. He had come in with a body temp of 93 and some other signs of major distress. They had half a dozen iv's in him, a catheter, he was in a serious ER room with plugs and machines everywhere. It was the worst thing I've seen in my life. Eventually he started coming around but was very incoherent. I was able to understand him a little bit and he wanted me to free his arms... hew anted to yank the ivs and his catheter out.

He would get agitated and his pulse would spike up to like 170 at one point when I wouldn't untie him. Eventually the ER staff said I should go home that he'd be admitted to ICU and I could call and check on him.

The ICU doc told me to call today before coming in. He warned that he may become aggressive and that he was a definite suicide attempt. So they will get him stable, then move him to a regular hospital room, then when they believe he's fully rational, a psych eval. THen they will put him in the psych ward, he has no choice and must go.

I don't know what to do. I do know that I simply can't live with someone who is suicidal and I'm damn sure not taking him back or ever having him come in contact with my children.

Do I just pack his things and take them to the hospital and never go see him? Should I see him and try to help him recover? What do I do? My brother, mother and friend all say I should get a restraining order and change the locks on the door... but he is on the lease.

I will call the leasing office and see what they say... I'm torn with grief and guilt and rage. I'm so angry. Furious.

I just don't know what I do now....

alwaysunloved
01-09-2010, 04:02 PM
wow....thats crazy
well if you care about him, maybe see him once, but i wouldnt suggest going more than once or he may get false hope.
it has to be over
and you will have to call the leasing office and figure everything out
good luck

smackie9
01-10-2010, 12:16 AM
Your family is right, get a restraining order. Statistically the majority of women that are murdered are killed by their spouse or partner. He is very unstable, and you need to stay away from him so he can get the help he needs. I would suggest moving so he can't find you. Just remember not only is your life at stake, but your daughter's lives are too.

adoodle
01-10-2010, 06:50 PM
OMG

how scary !!!!!!
Just think, if he starts to think homocide is a better idea than suicide ! yikes...
you should seek police assiatnce to see what the right thing to do would be to make distance between you and this person. Last thing you want is to be around them, to where they blow their brains out in fron tof you and others.
or have them do a murder suicide.
That is some FRIGHTENING STUFF... RUN and seek legal assist to do the right thing to keep this person as far away from you as possible !!!

thats downright CRAZY stuff.

WhatAMess
01-10-2010, 07:00 PM
I know it is nuts. I wonder how I got myself into this situation. He's well and recovering. I did go see him today to check on him and let him know that I do care about him. The psychiatrist came in while I was there and she talked to us both. I made it clear that it was still over between us.

He has MS which also leads to depression and the psychiatrist is going to put him on antidepressants low dose for now since he OD' on antidepressants... and then they will up him up to normal dosages. Whether he goes into the psych ward depends on how he responds to the medication and his behavior.

He kept telling me he loved me and I told him I knew that. He wanted to know if I still felt the same way I did the other day and I told him I did, but that I also felt very numb and that I was very angry with him.

He thanked me for coming to see him and told me he appreciated it. He's going to be in for several more days at the least. He seems to not be suicidal anymore and is responsive to seeing a psychiatrist and going on the antidepressant. But we all know there is no way to know what he's really thinking until he is released.

He won't be coming here, that's for sure. I may help arrange a hotel or other short-term location for him to live.... but it is over.

Course, my 12 year old found out about it and she's having nightmares and thinks it is her fault. I couldn't talk to her yesterday. I actually ended up in the ER with a massive panic attack and slept from 3pm till about 8am this morning. TOday I feel much better having seen him.

The guilt was getting to me. So I feel better reassuring myself that he's well and that he's going to be under psychiatric care. I think I needed that. Now it's going to be easier to let go. I have to talk to my daughter and try to make her understand it wasn't her fault and that she is ok.

Life really sucks sometimes and I'm so mad at myself for bringing him into my home, but at the time, I did love him and had no idea he was so over-bearing, dominant and not fully mentally stable.

jefff
01-10-2010, 08:13 PM
Restraining order... just to be safe

smackie9
01-10-2010, 08:36 PM
Contact your daughter's school and set up appointments with the school counselor for her. She will find it easier to talk through this kind of thing with someone who wasn't involved.

WhatAMess
01-10-2010, 08:41 PM
Contact your daughter's school and set up appointments with the school counselor for her. She will find it easier to talk through this kind of thing with someone who wasn't involved.

Thank you, that is some excellent advice and I'll call the school first thing in the morning. I hadn't even thought of that yet.

E.

thewhiterabbit
01-10-2010, 09:03 PM
I know I can't speak from anyone else's perspective, but I tried to kill myself in an attempt to get out of the situation I was in. I regret every second of it for the pain I caused everyone and would never do anything to physically hurt someone else. I'm not saying the same is true for him, but it might be. I think you should TRY to just be his friend. If that's not enough for him THEN follow the advice of the other guys in the forum. I know it would have just made me more desperate if I didn't have the love (maybe not the kind of love I wanted) and friendship of the person that "caused" my situation in the first place.