queensdude
01-16-2010, 12:07 PM
i am a successful guy, mid forties. id like to think i have somewhat of a brain. but intelligence doesnt matter
when emotions are ruling your body. here is my situation, you can be as brutal, helpful, mean as youd like.
im at my wits end with this, and am open to all suggestions besides killing her or killing myself! believe me
im sure a poster or two will say that
1. ive known her for 9 years, friends for first three, in a toxic relationship for past 6 years
2. im dvced for 5 years now, was separated for a year before that, ended amicably
3. after many years of each hurting, lying and cheating on each other, im at a point in life
where i have to act
4.i never wanted to be w other women. shes a compulsive liar who always seems to need the affection of
other men. weve tried counceling, always saying im to mean and she always feels like im abandoning her
5. ive walked out many times after finding out shed been on a date, or setting up a date. sometimes shed beg for me back
other times, id call her after not speaking to her for a week or two
6. her parents and friends hate me and will not accept me. she has painted me into a monster who breaks up w her
for no reason and acts irrationally( her parents know she is a compulsive liar but its their only daughter, her friends dont
know she has this serious mental problem)
7.ive tried to break things off w her many times, been involved in relationships w other women, only to gravitate back to her
8. when we r together we always have a great time, very comfortable w each other, no problems, healthy life
9. at this point she has told me her parents will never accept me, so she will be dating, she also says she cant commit to me
because i am not nice in general.
10. i harbor alot of resentment against her for her constant lying and cheating(which i, as a baby, also did to her) but i am not
nasty to her at all, i just dont buy her presents ( shes jewish, i guess this means alot)
11.i pay for everything,food,entertainment,vacas, i am not cheap at all, but find it hard to buy presents for a liar cheater
12. right now she is on match, im on another dating site. she is 38(says 36 on her profile) im 43.
13. i have access to her phone records, she is texting 5 guys, some who have dated her and dumped her inb the past,
one she ed in cali after reconnecting w him on facebook after talking to him for two weeks, and three new match guys
14. i do pretty well w the dating but find myself putting her ahead of any other dating prospects.
15. she told me she was eating at her parents tonight,which i believed. after all, we are both admitting to dating
16. after asking her what shes eating at her parents, she gets annoyed at me and says" look,im going on a date tonight
to meet a guy for a drink, and i didnt want to tell you because u act all weird".
17. id been honest about my dating, she has another match date for sunday that she told me about, why the need to lie
about this one?
18. i doubt these are first time dates
19. im torn between telling her to off and have a good life(ive tried this many times already)
or keep her on as a outlet until i meet someone who gets me excited to be with
ive become a pretty shallow person from all of this. ive been mean to girls who didnt deserve it. ive messed up
opportunities to be w good girls over fear of losing this POS. im suppossed to hang w her and go to a play
sat night, then have her over for a jets party which she has to leave early for to go meet the other match guy.
ok lay it on if u can, give me the good the bad and the ugly.
when emotions are ruling your body. here is my situation, you can be as brutal, helpful, mean as youd like.
im at my wits end with this, and am open to all suggestions besides killing her or killing myself! believe me
im sure a poster or two will say that
1. ive known her for 9 years, friends for first three, in a toxic relationship for past 6 years
2. im dvced for 5 years now, was separated for a year before that, ended amicably
3. after many years of each hurting, lying and cheating on each other, im at a point in life
where i have to act
4.i never wanted to be w other women. shes a compulsive liar who always seems to need the affection of
other men. weve tried counceling, always saying im to mean and she always feels like im abandoning her
5. ive walked out many times after finding out shed been on a date, or setting up a date. sometimes shed beg for me back
other times, id call her after not speaking to her for a week or two
6. her parents and friends hate me and will not accept me. she has painted me into a monster who breaks up w her
for no reason and acts irrationally( her parents know she is a compulsive liar but its their only daughter, her friends dont
know she has this serious mental problem)
7.ive tried to break things off w her many times, been involved in relationships w other women, only to gravitate back to her
8. when we r together we always have a great time, very comfortable w each other, no problems, healthy life
9. at this point she has told me her parents will never accept me, so she will be dating, she also says she cant commit to me
because i am not nice in general.
10. i harbor alot of resentment against her for her constant lying and cheating(which i, as a baby, also did to her) but i am not
nasty to her at all, i just dont buy her presents ( shes jewish, i guess this means alot)
11.i pay for everything,food,entertainment,vacas, i am not cheap at all, but find it hard to buy presents for a liar cheater
12. right now she is on match, im on another dating site. she is 38(says 36 on her profile) im 43.
13. i have access to her phone records, she is texting 5 guys, some who have dated her and dumped her inb the past,
one she ed in cali after reconnecting w him on facebook after talking to him for two weeks, and three new match guys
14. i do pretty well w the dating but find myself putting her ahead of any other dating prospects.
15. she told me she was eating at her parents tonight,which i believed. after all, we are both admitting to dating
16. after asking her what shes eating at her parents, she gets annoyed at me and says" look,im going on a date tonight
to meet a guy for a drink, and i didnt want to tell you because u act all weird".
17. id been honest about my dating, she has another match date for sunday that she told me about, why the need to lie
about this one?
18. i doubt these are first time dates
19. im torn between telling her to off and have a good life(ive tried this many times already)
or keep her on as a outlet until i meet someone who gets me excited to be with
ive become a pretty shallow person from all of this. ive been mean to girls who didnt deserve it. ive messed up
opportunities to be w good girls over fear of losing this POS. im suppossed to hang w her and go to a play
sat night, then have her over for a jets party which she has to leave early for to go meet the other match guy.
ok lay it on if u can, give me the good the bad and the ugly.