weetabexx
01-23-2010, 04:56 PM
Hi guys, I'm new to this forum and I couldn't have joined at a better time.
I was with this guy for a year and a half. We met through mutual friends and got chatting. I had a boyfriend when we first started talking but I was deeply unhappy being with him (we fought pretty much around the clock and I realized we had nothing in common) and so I ended the relationship.
Soon after, I got with the guy who I had met through my friends. We knew each other well enough from the start as we had been talking 4 months before we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We got along really well and bonded very quickly and pretty much lived in each others pockets. We went everywhere together, did everything together and basically loved being in each others company.
Things were going very well and I felt like I had not only a boyfriend, but a best friend as well. Then my nan passed away in July 09. She had been battling with cancer for many years and July was her time to go. It hit me VERY hard since it was my first time loosing somebody close to me. My boyfriend was there at the funeral, being supportive, holding me when I was crying, holding my hand etc. He promised he would always be there for me and if I ever felt sad to text him or call him at any time at all and he would listen to me.
I felt reassured. We went on holidays to Berlin in August and we had a great time and it truly cheered me up. But then around September there was a change. He was going out with his friends more and me less. He would talk to me less. He would occasionally cancel our plans. I felt like I was being taken for granted and it really hurt. Don't get me wrong, of course I wanted him to go out with his friends but at this stage we rarely saw each other. I knew in my heart of hearts things were going downhill. And the more he pulled away, the more desperate I became- which probably made him pull away more!
Things came to a head. We were supposed to meet up on a Saturday but he couldn't "because the weather was too bad." Which was RIDICULOUS of him to say. It was raining the night before but it had cleared up and it was absolutely fine out. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and I didn't reply to his message. Then I wrote to him later saying I need time to think about things with us. And he wrote back saying OK. I panicked and called him and long story short, we had a HUGE fight and decided to break up. The next few days were hell. He made no contact with me so I contacted him. We decided to try patch things up. But then he changed his mind two days later, which was yet another disappointment.
Its been two months since we've broken up and I'm still finding it difficult to accept what has happened. He's been acting really really insensitive, posting stuff on Facebook about being with other girls, not contacting me at all, and just being an ass in general. It's like he's a different person and its very hard to accept he just doesn't care anymore, after caring so much.
I'm trying to move on but I feel like I can't because I still care about him very much despite the way he's carrying on. I keep wanting him to have this realization that his behaviour is ridiculous and that he should cop on. I keep wanting karma to sort him out. I keep wanting him to contact me. I know its nuts to think that stuff but I'm hurting. I just don't know what to do in regards to the whole thing. I don't know whether or not I should contact him so things aren't over on completely bad terms, or maybe should I just accept this one can't be fixed? I've tried to get through to him and being honest my efforts are probably futile, he doesn't seem to want to know. Should I just accept he's not the person he used to be, and he really just doesn't care about me anymore? I need an outside perspective to try help me make sense of the situation.
Thanks in advance for any help :)
I was with this guy for a year and a half. We met through mutual friends and got chatting. I had a boyfriend when we first started talking but I was deeply unhappy being with him (we fought pretty much around the clock and I realized we had nothing in common) and so I ended the relationship.
Soon after, I got with the guy who I had met through my friends. We knew each other well enough from the start as we had been talking 4 months before we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We got along really well and bonded very quickly and pretty much lived in each others pockets. We went everywhere together, did everything together and basically loved being in each others company.
Things were going very well and I felt like I had not only a boyfriend, but a best friend as well. Then my nan passed away in July 09. She had been battling with cancer for many years and July was her time to go. It hit me VERY hard since it was my first time loosing somebody close to me. My boyfriend was there at the funeral, being supportive, holding me when I was crying, holding my hand etc. He promised he would always be there for me and if I ever felt sad to text him or call him at any time at all and he would listen to me.
I felt reassured. We went on holidays to Berlin in August and we had a great time and it truly cheered me up. But then around September there was a change. He was going out with his friends more and me less. He would talk to me less. He would occasionally cancel our plans. I felt like I was being taken for granted and it really hurt. Don't get me wrong, of course I wanted him to go out with his friends but at this stage we rarely saw each other. I knew in my heart of hearts things were going downhill. And the more he pulled away, the more desperate I became- which probably made him pull away more!
Things came to a head. We were supposed to meet up on a Saturday but he couldn't "because the weather was too bad." Which was RIDICULOUS of him to say. It was raining the night before but it had cleared up and it was absolutely fine out. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and I didn't reply to his message. Then I wrote to him later saying I need time to think about things with us. And he wrote back saying OK. I panicked and called him and long story short, we had a HUGE fight and decided to break up. The next few days were hell. He made no contact with me so I contacted him. We decided to try patch things up. But then he changed his mind two days later, which was yet another disappointment.
Its been two months since we've broken up and I'm still finding it difficult to accept what has happened. He's been acting really really insensitive, posting stuff on Facebook about being with other girls, not contacting me at all, and just being an ass in general. It's like he's a different person and its very hard to accept he just doesn't care anymore, after caring so much.
I'm trying to move on but I feel like I can't because I still care about him very much despite the way he's carrying on. I keep wanting him to have this realization that his behaviour is ridiculous and that he should cop on. I keep wanting karma to sort him out. I keep wanting him to contact me. I know its nuts to think that stuff but I'm hurting. I just don't know what to do in regards to the whole thing. I don't know whether or not I should contact him so things aren't over on completely bad terms, or maybe should I just accept this one can't be fixed? I've tried to get through to him and being honest my efforts are probably futile, he doesn't seem to want to know. Should I just accept he's not the person he used to be, and he really just doesn't care about me anymore? I need an outside perspective to try help me make sense of the situation.
Thanks in advance for any help :)