Engagement rings

[Dude]

Anyone have any tips on buying them?
I've done my research so I know about the 4 C's. Am looking around to get a general idea of prices. I also know the design i'm after and roughly the type of rock I want.

Wondering what people's experiences are?
Can you haggle with a jeweller, or is that generally not considered acceptable?
Do women care about how many carats a diamond has? Not point having a big diamond if its colour and clarity are rubbish. IMO a smaller diamond (0.5-0.75ct) with great colour (D-F) and clarity (VVs or Vs) is much classier than a big diamond +1ct but with the other Cs being questionable. But what have you guys experienced?

Do jewellers generally sell what's in the shop window, or can you make an order to your specs?

What about ring size? Do I just buy a big one and have it adjusted later or do I steal one of her rings (good luck to me) and get them to match the size? I can't ask what her ring size is as she'll know what I'm up to.

I've considered giving her a token engagement gift, then going ring shopping later. But a) I want this to be a gift from me and not one she chose for herself (more sentimental value IMO), b) I know what she's like and the first thing she'll consider is price as she wouldn't want too much being spent on her and finally c) I want her memory of the proposal to be special, which includes seeing the ring, having it placed on her finger, etc.

All help & comments appreciated.

[eightball61]

First of all congrats. second some are really big on the size because its like a prize to show people. My wife though was very easy as she was happy to anything as long as i ws with her. Worked out for us both lol

[somechick]

Congrats!! What is some of the jewelry she wears currently? That will give you an idea on what kind of ring she would like. I think your idea for a smaller diamond with good quality is fantastic. Have you decided on a metal? Gold, white gold etc? IF you find a ring you think she would like just go with the size if comes it. Usually sizing is free with the purchase of a ring. It is a general rule not to haggle with a jeweler.

[PrincessB]

The tradition is to spend 3 month's salary on the ring. If that is a bit steep for you then go to sites like bidz.com to get more value for your buck. The size and cost of the rock are not that important but some women will measure your ability to provide a future by what you present. . . I don't mean to stress you out and some "woman's libbers" will totally disagree but it is not totally unreasonable for a woman to assume a man is incompetent if he doesn't have a solid plan for the future otherwise.

The engagement is a stepping stone to what your future holds. If something small is all you can offer right now then you should have no worries if she's the right woman... a good woman in love will appreciate whatever you can provide, but before planning a wedding be sure to have that all important financial plan.