Boyfriend wants to move in and I'm nervous!

[PonyGirl]

Hey all! This may have been posted but I'm new and it's late so I'm too lazy to search...lol

My b/f of 2 years recently suggested I move into his house w/ him. We have opposing work schedules plus I'm going to school full time. The only free time I have is on the weekends and I have to divide that between homework, family and him. He's been very patient in trying not to let on that the situation bothers him and last week he suggested moving in together as a way for us to get to see each other more.

Now I'm 28 and haven't lived with anyone since I moved out of my parents house over 6 years ago; quite frankly I'm scared! The usual what if it doesnt work stuff, etc. I've told him this and he has the same concerns but adds it could be wonderful too!

I guess my question is should I do it or not? We've both agreed marriage isn't for us while I'm still in school; yet every single person I know says that after this long living together is a way for him to get the milk w/o buying the cow. Thoughts anyone?

[Diablo]

This is something you really should decide for yourself. He probably does want the milk without buying the cow, but since marriage isn't an issue here, I don't see what that would hurt as long as you took precautions against pregnancy. Another variable is living together would probably benefit both of you financially. Having different schedules would still be a strain on the relationship though. Is there any way you two could get more compatable schedules? I suggest you think this over for a while. Consider all the pros and cons and then decide. Using your head and not your heart.

[PonyGirl]

This is something you really should decide for yourself. He probably does want the milk without buying the cow, but since marriage isn't an issue here, I don't see what that would hurt as long as you took precautions against pregnancy. Another variable is living together would probably benefit both of you financially. Having different schedules would still be a strain on the relationship though. Is there any way you two could get more compatable schedules? I suggest you think this over for a while. Consider all the pros and cons and then decide. Using your head and not your heart.

No worries on the pregnancy, I've been on the pill since we hooked up so that's a done deal. The financial aspect is a part of it; it'd cut down on my expenses since I don't make alot at my current job. I would help out w/ bills as I am not a mooch and don't expect him to pay for me.

As far as the schedule, I'm working on that too. I'm trying to get switched to a day shift with my supervisor's help so that may be a moot point here soon. I am in definite agreement on the thinking over for awhile. What he recommends right now is like a 'trial' where I spend the week there and see how it goes.

[eightball61]

I see no problems with moving in. If you move in this may set a foundation on how this relationship may or may not work in the future. I suggest moving in to give it a shot and see what works and what doesn't work.

If you are afraid about him milking you then suggest a few things like; he keeps the lease in his name, you both write a contract on terms and conditions, you pay half for all cost, ect.

You don't want to put yourself in a position where you'll be screwed if he screws you. So if he wants you to move int his place then it stays as his place until you both were to purchase something together or married. You will be there t help pay for what you use and living but don't put all these things in your name that could screw you over.

Overall, I say take the chance and see what happens. This could be agood thing to give you both the chance to grow.

Goodluck and please let us know your outcome.

[Rich]

IMO I wouldn't. It'll just turn into a hassle all around if you break up.

But if you're both engaged to be married and that's a def...then I would. But just BF and GF...I wouldn't. Stay your course. You've been doing it for this long by yourself, so continue.

Rich
www.awesomerelationships.com

[inquisitive]

I don't see why not. I'd say it's definitely worth taking the chance! You sound like your pretty serious with eachother - you've talked marriage etc.

Work things out previously on who will pay what, and when. Who will do what housework etc. That way those problems won't come up since you'll have worked them out already.

I don't think a week is long enough for a "trial". It takes a while to get use to living with someone. Even more so, I'm sure, since you've lived on your own for so long.