confused....

[quadrajet988]

:D :D :D

[SALly]

It sounds to me like you shouldn't be a baby about it. You are wondering how YOU are going to get over this stuff--- OMG imagine how she feels.

[eightball61]

There nothing she can do to change her past nor there anything you can do. If you were with another girl then her past may bother you also. We all have things in the past we either regret doing or can't help from happening. Basically, you need to suck it up and try to live for the present and the future. Changing partners will not help out your fear unless they have no past. What you need to do is try to live for what you have now before you lose it.

[2BDMD]

Think of it this way, you're her first that she is willingly to do it with or kiss! Isn't that enough? As pasts tend to hunt us, don't let it get to you.

[sagg22]

Everyone has a past. It is what makes us who we are today. It is what made your girlfriend who she is and the one you are falling, have fallen for.
The worst thing that you could do is hold her past against her. We all do things and make mistakes that later on we regret and wish we hadn't done. In her case some of the things were not even her fault. The fact that she has told you all of this, even the shameful things shows how much she is willing to open up and trust you.
You not liking the thought of another man with her or forcing himself onto her is proof of how much you care about her. Just don't let it come in between the two of you and what you have going on. Go ahead and deal with it and go through emotionally what you need to to get past it. Doing this and talking to others is a good way to help with that. Just don't take it out on her or make her feel guilty for anything she has done that can't be changed. That will only cause problems.

[quadrajet988]

thanks a lot for the support fella's... i know the bad things that happened to her wasnt her fault.

i just feel so helpless sometimes.... it just sucks when these feelings come up.... i dont wanna discuss these feelings w/ my GF anymore, coz last time i did... it just brought back bad memories...she felt really bad and ashamed.....and i felt even worse for bringing it up with her.....

she's a real nice girl, and i'm soooo lucky to have her. :)

[SALly]

Yeah good idea about not bringing it up too often with her, it would be a lot better to speak here to get your feelings out about it. Your future with her is what matters! Goodluck.

[eightball61]

she's a real nice girl, and i'm soooo lucky to have her. :)


Print this out and keep this qoute in your wallet. Anytime you feel the past creeping up on you then just take this piece of paper out and read it to remind yourself how lucky you actually are to have her.....

You need to just build off from this and move on. She is really lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her. You know you can't change the past and thats hy you just need to look foward and move on. she has the same goal to move on from her past and when you bring this stuff up it really doesn't make her feel that she may be wanted.

She had a rough past and your goal as a boyfriend should be to change that rather than put it on her mind that what she did was soooo wrong. We all have a past that we don't like but we seek the future to move on. She wants to move on and you need to give that to her along with the happiness she needs. If you keep going back to the past then it may just push her back and I am sure you would hate to lose her. It will be tough but sometimes you just gotta suck it up and move on.

[quadrajet988]

Yeah good idea about not bringing it up too often with her, it would be a lot better to speak here to get your feelings out about it. Your future with her is what matters! Goodluck.

yeah, i just had to let out all the emotion... all i want is for my GF to be happy.... :)

[quadrajet988]

I'm trying my best to get all those bad memories out of my head. It scares me to think that one day it might get the better of me and I might just get mad at my GF for no reason.... i dont want these stuff boiling inside my head anymore.... hopefully time will heal it.....

[eightball61]

Is this the first girl that you have have insecurities about the past? Is so, then why do think that has happened that way?

If you keep allowing this to bothering you then it will over woer you and you'll lose out on a future with her. You have to realize that every person you will date will have a past. Each person will have a different past but you have to learn to suck it up or yu'll be a lonely guy into the future....

Nobody can't have a perfect past. By making mistakes in life is how we learn about life. If you get insecure about someone elses life then why don't you get insecure about yours?