Married and feelings for another

[Ann75]

I am married now for 10 years with 2 kids. After a while we diecided to spice things up and have a 3 some. We have done this for years and everything went fine. Now I am afraid I have feelings for someone else. He is going through a divorce and he is so lonely. I think about him all the time and I want to make him happy. My husband and I have not been happy for a while. And we both admit it. I am a stay at home mom and have no real work experience. Where we live does not have much to offer. Should I leave and struggle or stay and be miserable?

[Rich]

Maybe some additional info.

Just to clarify. Is the guy that you're in love with the one you had a threesome with?

What were your initial reasons for wanting a threesome? Was your husband lacking? Do you like two guys taking you at once? Was it just because you weren't in love with your husband?

If you were to leave your husband and wound up marrying this other guy, would you still want to do threesomes? If you say no, are you sure that you would be satisfied by one guy after being married again for sometime? If you did still want threesomes, do you think that you might find another guy that interests you more and would leave again? Would a pattern develop?

So, was it just that your love life was boring or are you just very turned on to have more then one guy at a time and you need that?

IMO you never leave a relationship for another person. You leave a relationship because of the relationship itself and that's it. Let the relationship work or disolve on it's own merits without the interferrence of a third party.

Rich

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[eightball61]

Will you cheat if you stay?

Its only fair to him and you if you both split apart. Its your life and the decision you make is the one you will have to handle yourself. Most people rather be happy than miserable. I know I would rather be happy.

You may struggle on your own but you can pull yourself out of it. If you don't pull out of it that because you didn't put the effort to. I know you are a stay at home mom but why dont you start getting active. There not much around you but even working as a waitress or a low pay job will give you money and experience to get out there.

If you keep thinking of things that will block you from moving on then you won't get anywheres. You need to keep your head up and start from the bottom and work to the top. We all start somewheres and this would be a start.

[Diablo]

You and your husband are both unhappy, so it sounds like you've already decided. The big worry is keeping the divorce amicable. Speaking as a child of divorce, it's a for the kids when parents have a hostile divorce. You need to decide wether or not to try to work things out with your husband though. Y'all have admitted that y'all are unhappy, so maybe you could talk to each other about why and what can be done about it. If you can't fix it, then perhaps you should consider a marriage to the other guy. Having no jobs skills condems you to a life of poverty if you're hung up on making a living honestly. Perhaps your husband would agree to let you stay while you date around. He was liberal enough to go along with threesomes, so he might. The bottom line is, it's your husband that you need to be discussing this with.