hi, could really use some advice

[sunshine]

hi, well im back, i posted a thread help sad and confused. and now i have another prob, i have cheated once before and so has the hubby. we seem to have gotten past it and things have been great for about a year now, but here's the thing,our life dosent have any life to it at all and i have kinda met someone else. i know this guy dosent want to be married or even to be in a relationship but we have a great time together,i feel the need to cheat to make a long story short. i have turned him down already but he still wants to do more than be friends and in some ways so do i.my marriage isnt bad at all but i guess the saying is true once a cheater always a cheater, b/c i feel like i just cant overcome the want to be with this guy, i cant tell the hubby about this and talk out our probs, b/c there arnt any really. im stuck i want to be with this guy but i dont want to cheat and do something wrong to hurt my hubby. i just dont understand why i feel this way, what can i do? :confused:

[inquisitive]

If your life isn't great, don't you think that you do have a problem? Instead of cheating why not find a way to spice up your life with your husband?

[SALly]

Don't cheat again. It will only make with your husband even worse. I'm the same way- I cheated, now I always long for that hot, fresh, - not the boring same old hubby.... You've just got to commit to not cheating again if you want to stay with your hubby. Or end it with him so you can move on and live out your fantasies.
Eightball and Rich will help you- they know everything!!! :D :D :D

[inquisitive]

with the same person doesn't have to be boring! It can be fun, exciting, dirty, passionate, loving, and oh so many things :) If your life is lacking look for a way to fix it within the relationship.

[eightball61]

Cheating as you see doesn't resolve anything. All cheating does is create a bigger problem and puts it on hold for the 15 minutes of love making you have with this other person. Cheating is not worth it now and wasn't even worth it then when we talked to you in the last post.

Your husband also done his share and you are still thinking about doing your share. You wanted to seek help in your last post and if you cheat again you will be going against what you are asking for.

My over opinion to this is just leave your husband. You need to save a headache for him and you. If you feel you need to cheat then you feel you need to be single.

You are in a marriage and its either be denicated or not be. Right now you want to go out and explore. You can have it both ways and with these thoughts that you are carrying then its best you just end the marriage because you are not doing anything to save it....my opinion though.

[SALly]

[the 15 minutes of love making you have with this other person)

What? 15 minutes??? When I think of hot , I think of hours!!!!

[eightball61]

Oh boy then I must be boring :eek:


It was just a time I threw out there. It doesn't matter if its hours, days, or even minutes. The pleasure is fun but not worth the risk or hurt it can cause the other partner.

[SALly]

Just teasin' ya---- :cool:

[eightball61]

......i know ;)

[Diablo]

Sunshine, if I had a dollar for every woman I wanted and could not have, I could take a woman out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Forget the guy and find a way to spice things up in the sack with your hubby. Try new things, try role playing, kama sutra. Typically, couples lose interest in with each other because it becomes a set routine. The same thing over and over again until it becomes a chore instead of a pleasure. Try some new things. Anything that you both agree on is okay.

[2BDMD]

Get best of two worlds

sucks with your husband and you want to have with this new guy?

Ask your husband for the possibility of having a threesome! Tell him that your has been horrible and how about spicing it up?

This can be dangerous though because if the 3some did happen and you find yourself more into this new guy, cheating and a divorce is inevitable. For you to want with another person, your love level is no longer the same with your husbands love level for you.

For a relationship to work and thrive, love interest/level must be balanced between two lovers. I've cheated before, but I refuse to cheat again. If my SO provides me everything that I look for in my dream girl, then I have no reasons to cheat. There will always be a more attractive person out there, but why risk the person you love. So I disagree that "once a cheater, always a cheater" statement.

If you have these tendencies/urges, then you're in a very fragile state. Do not cheat, talk with your husband about your urges, he might be mad at first, but he'll appreciate your honesty.

Talk, talk, talk, communication is one of the best medicine to a relationship crisis.