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View Full Version : Don't know what to do! (relationship with a friend)


lambodiablo205
02-09-2010, 09:18 AM
Hello,
This is the first time vising this site, and i have a ton of questions on what it is i should be doing to build a relation with a girl.

I am 19 years old, never been in a relationship, and I am starting to feel the emptiness of not having someone in my life. I have had crushes on various girls though high school and college. There was one girl i started liking freshman year in high school. We were friends for 4/5 years, off and on (mostly because we didn't see each other at school, and we didn't know each other very well). About one semester into college, i finally told her how i felt about her, and she didn't feel the same way. After that, i decided to focus on school and work more, because being around her and talking to her hurt me too much.

About 6 months ago, i started getting to know one of my co-workers. She is really cool and beautiful, and the more i got to know her, the more i began to think she was the one for me. She likes a lot of the same things i like, and she has even told me she likes me more than anyone else in the store (don't lie, nice, try to keep peace with everyone, go out of my way to help people). There are about 400 associates employed in the store. We have started doing a lot of things together (working out together, texting a lot, watching her sporting events). The only problem is that she has a boyfriend currently, and they have been together for 2 years. She has been having problems with the relationship between her and her BF, and even tells me about it and asks me questions on whose right during an argument and so on.

My dilemma is, i really want to ask her out. Obviously not when she has a BF, but just sitting back and seeing how everything plays out. If they do break up, should i ask her out a week or 2 later? Wait longer? Not even ask her at all, and just leave it as a friendship? I am mostly afraid of loosing her as a friend, because i've had this happen to me twice before. Also, what are the signs of knowing if she likes me as more than just a friend? I've seen some signs already, but i can't tell because she already has a boyfriend.

Thanks!

smackie9
03-06-2010, 03:31 AM
You are falling into the "Friends zone" again. If you find someone attractive you ask them out asap. Don't do the friends thing ever. It's the kiss of death. How do you know if they like you? I will tell you, if a girl wants you bad you will know it. It is never subtle because they don't want to miss out losing you to some other girl. Heavy flirting, touching, finding every opportunity to talk with you, eye contact, twirling their hair, tilting the head looking up at you, lots of smiling, hints when they say like "oh I would really like to see that movie" "Wow I can't believe you don't have a gf". But when things get going you play it kool, maybe give a little attention back, but go back to keeping it kool. Make them work for it. Girl's like that stuff. They also like confidence, but don't get overly anxious. And never express "your feelings" to someone you are not in a full on relationship with. That is how you lose their interest real fast. You can tell them that they are hot or something like that, but no "I really like you'' crap.

smackie9
03-06-2010, 03:36 AM
Oh and if a girl really is interested in you they wouldn't be discussing their BF issues with you.

lambodiablo205
03-06-2010, 08:21 AM
Thats where i get a little confused. She keeps telling me how i'm really nice, and has asked me why i don't have a girlfriend. I told her i was shy at asking girls out (which i am).

smackie9
03-19-2010, 03:11 AM
Ya that's friends zone talk buddy. They say s h i t like that so you will keep giving them attention.....kinda of a way to keep you around for their needs.....bf without benefits.

Diablo
03-19-2010, 08:10 PM
Sometimes that bf without benefits gets a promotion. However, you shouldn't wait on her. If you don't mind just being friends with this woman, keep seeing her, but try and find another woman to date. You'll get along fine with this co-worker when she's fighting with her bf. When they patch things up, she'll withdraw some.

Monstertoad101
03-20-2010, 03:59 AM
Try talking to her about girls that you like or say that you're going out on a date etc, and tell her all about it.. that will show you how she really feels about you.

If she does like you, it will show her what she's doing to you by talking about her boyfriend, and, she will probably quit with the talking about him to you.