OMG, this is the worst time ever in my life

[dvs ladii]

Okay so guys, this is my second thread, right now I just read my "bestfriends" online diary called Xanga, and here is what she wrote... "i promised i would hook my future brother in law (My boyfriend) with my girls hes pretty excited & so am i...i`m gonna take my lil brother in law to the finest clubs in chicago & i`m gonna take him to the strip club that kiki works at * muahahahahaha * gotta treat my guests when they come down nah mean hahaha i`m SO excited anyways i got a big test tommarow i`m gonna go study BYE"

Okay now that just put me to total shock, and just while I was reading this my boyfriend, well my ex i should say, called me and i mentioned this to him, and his response was "haha, no its not true", I then asked him a couple of times over and over again, he kept switching his answer from no to yes and from yes to no, and then in between hes like i'm tired of this relationship, i want to let go of you, I don't wanna be here no more, I want to move on. And, when I mentioned about what he said a couple of days ago "I f*ckin love you so much", he told me it's not true, his love was BULLSHIT...i started to break down and cry, and what he said was "OH GOD" and hung up. Guys I don't know what to do. I'm trying so hard not to think about what he said, I want to ignore everything and move on with my life, but the past just keeps coming in my way. I'm very very upset right now. I need help!

[eightball61]

As I said in your first thread that I would be willing to bet there is more to this. I didn't bring up those thoughts because I didn't want to make the assumption the way you were currently feeling but this is what I was thinking was happening..

It seemed like they were waiting for a good point to break it off and they used your words as an asset.

As you see nothing is helping here. You so-called friend is no longer a friend so stop reading the gossip because its not doing you any good. Next you need to stop talking to them all together. I know its hard but what are you trying to get accomplished by talking with people that will just hurt you anyway?? When you talk to them you get hurt. You need to smarten up and just tell them to stop calling and you do the same. If they continue then it is a form of harrassment and use a threat of them. I am thinking about you right now and the only way to get yourself out of this modd is if you take the first step in not picking up your phone when they call or you calling them.

[dvs ladii]

This really sucks, I know he loves me but he's hiding his feelings so he won't look like a herb. But I don't understand the fact that all of a sudden he wants to end this relationship because that girl told him I tell his youmger brother everything, which is not true at all, I tried explaining this to him many times, he just doesn't seem to believe me, he thinks I'm a LIAR!...

As for that stupid b*tch, I'm not even going to pay any mind to it because shes doing all of that to get me mad and she knows that's the only way she can do it, so whatever.

I'm so upset at the fact that my boyfriend doesn't appreciate what I've done for him for the past 3 years, I gave up my happiness so he can be happy. He's going to come over in a little while and I'm just putting an end to this no matter what happens, because I came to realise he's not the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I was blinded when I was with him and I didn't see all the other people around me and who liked me. I'm giving up on this relationship. :(

[eightball61]

This really sucks, I know he loves me (



You are wrong about that.....If he did love you then he still wouldn;t be treating you like this. You need to stop tricking yourself for hope. You don't need this abuse from him. You need to get strong and try to move on. Shit happens to us in life but we learn from it and get stronger from it.

She is not a friend nor does he love you. He has proven that over and over. Even if that journal online was a joke it was still cruel and that shows no love. You need to see all the bad thing here instead of tricking yourself. Its only going to get worse if you dont stop and look at the reality of things.

[dvs ladii]

I guess you're right, I'm just telling that to myself to keep myself happy, but it's not true. This drama is not worth my time, and I don't need to waste my breath on anyone and I don't need to prove myself right over and over again when I know I'm not wrong.

Theres so much anger built up inside of me, and I think its time I let it out :mad:

[eightball61]

Theres so much anger built up inside of me, and I think its time I let it out :mad:


Buy a journal and write in it....This will help alot when you are alone. In mean time still post here and someone will get back as soon as then can...

[dvs ladii]

Yeah I think I will buy a journal, but theres only so much you can vent in there about. At times I feel like breaking down and crying my eyes out all because of the past that keeps coming up. I really need to work on that right now, stop thinking about the times we spent together because that's whats really bothering me right now.

[eightball61]

Hang with some family if you need to for the time being. ITs hurts and you want to be alone but you also need to have interraction. Also dont feel bad if you cry because its normal to do. Let your feelings out anyway you can but remember that you have to work on moving on at the same time.

[inquisitive]

You don't even have to buy one go to
livejournal.com or
diary-x.com

and start an online one til' you can write it all down. You can make it not viewable to anyone but yourself. Thats how I have mine. That way even if someone found it they wouldn't be able to read it :)

[eightball61]

You don't even have to buy one go to
livejournal.com or
diary-x.com

and start an online one til' you can write it all down. You can make it not viewable to anyone but yourself. Thats how I have mine. That way even if someone found it they wouldn't be able to read it :)


Are those private though? I know I like to keep mine private (well my GF sees mine but I don't like to make it public). She found out nasty things about her ex and her ex friend from an online journal so as long as its private or she keep it quite thats not a bad idea.

[dvs ladii]

Eightball - My family is all I really need right now, just by spending some time at home, I feel better but at the same time I feel hella depressed, everytime I do something I always find myself thinking about the past, and that really hurts me a lot.

I want to go out and have fun, but then I dont want to,. Ugh I'm so confused with myself right now :confused:

[inquisitive]

Yea it's private. If you got to livejournal.com and try to look at my journal you won't be able to. Unless you know something I don't lol.

My username is live2run if you want to check it out.

[eightball61]

Jus hang with the family this weekend. Dont forget that you have us also ;) Only go out when you feel up to it so you can enjoy your time out.

[dvs ladii]

That really sucks when someone finds out things about someone later on. Eek!!!... I'm thinking about keeping one and leaving it private.

[dvs ladii]

I'm definitely going to spend some time with my family, and thas the only escape I see right now, and I'm glad I have you guys to talk about things with, and I'm happy I found people who are mature and good at giving advice. :)

[eightball61]

A journal will only help you vent and hopefully set your mind straight. You need to stay on top though and try your very best to move on. Its going to take time and you know that so please be patient.

[dvs ladii]

I'm trying very hard to stay up right now, its very hard especially when this happened in a blink of an eye, definitely wasn't called for. If I saw it coming and I was aware of something like this happening, I would've prepared myself. I'm trying my best to stay very strong and think of all the bad things he did to me so there can be atleast a little hate for him inside of me. I want to break down and cry right now and let everything out, because theres so much that's bottled up inside of me. But I think I'm going to be okay soon.

[eightball61]

But I think I'm going to be okay soon.


The sooner you keep your head up the faster it will be. It will still take some time but you have to help yourself rather than feel sorry for yourself. Like I said though its ok to vent and cry but you need to think straight.

[dvs ladii]

I'm thining straight already, I don't feel sorry for myself, I just think its a blessing from God that I got to see true colors of these people before I got myself into something really serious.

He's already calling me, and I haven't picked up his call, on the other hand I want to change my number so there can be no way that these ppl can get in contact with me. I hate assossciating myself with losers.

[eightball61]

Changing your number may be a benefit and keep it unlisted if you do. I will say they may not stop calling for a while. Just be strong and dont pick up that phone. If you need to say threat for harrassment your more than welcome to pick up but that just may lead to a conversation.

[dvs ladii]

The only reason why I want to change my number is because I know, if not today, tomorrow I will want to pick up his phone for the urge I'm going to have, and I don't want to do that because I see myself getting hurt again.

Now, if he calls and I do happen to pick up, I'm not going to make it to a conversation, although I know he is going to try and talk things out, but I honestly think its a bit too late to talk about anything.

I guess i'm going to stick to my number and torture him a bit here and there so I can feel a bit relieved too. But now i'm not taking this guy back for anything at all. I'm finally starting to see who I am, and I want to love myself now, not anyone else. :D

[eightball61]

If you pick up and its either him r her then just tell them not to call anymore and if they try then you will file harrassment charges.

[dvs ladii]

That won't call me, and if she does I know her number, and even if she tries calling me from a blocked number, I wont pick up cuz I don't pick up any unknown calls.

As for him, I'm not going to pick up at all, I'm just going to keep rejecting or let it ring. He doesn't have the guts to threaten me because I can go tell his father everything so he's scared about that.

[eightball61]

Sound like a plan :D

[dvs ladii]

Lol, well its a very stupid plan, but I want to do it so I can feel better about myself. I'm not a bad person and I'm not going to do anything harsh to mess up anyones life so I think ignoring them and their calls is enough, when they see that I'm not getting effected by their words or anything, they'll eventually stop and see that it's not making a difference to me.

[eightball61]

Lol, well its a very stupid plan, but I want to do it so I can feel better about myself. .


& thats why its a good plan ;)

[dvs ladii]

Thanks a bunches ::hug::. I really appreciate you talking to me. I feel so much better now :)

[eightball61]

No problem....A girl like you deserve a better and caring guy. Don't lose hope because you will find that man and marry that man.

[dvs ladii]

Yup, and I'm pretty sure theres somone out there for me, who respects me for who I am, and is committed to only me.

[eightball61]

Yup, and I'm pretty sure theres somone out there for me, who respects me for who I am, and is committed to only me.


Your damn right there is one out there....Heck there may even be more than one but you'll never know until you are ready for the dating scene again. as I have always said, there will be a few wrong before you hit that right one.

[dvs ladii]

I'm not ready for another relationship, both my past relationships have been a real bad experience...I don't think I'm ready to date because my mind is still not out of this incident. It is going to a longgggg time especially with a girl like me who loved someone so much and would do anything for him.

[eightball61]

Stop thinking back to that situation....I know its hard but my job is to make you try to see that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.

[dvs ladii]

I'm trying my best not to think about the situation, I'm listening to music, joking around with my sisters and just trying to be myself. But somehow I find myself thinking about him, everything I do, theres a bit of him in everything, its really pissing me off.

[eightball61]

Its only going to take time. Try to be patient and things will come around ;)

[dvs ladii]

I really hope so, because I've been pretty restless ever since all this happened. I can't sleep at night, I try my best to put myself to sleep but I keep thinking about the harsh things that happened, and the past, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this, I'm broke right now, and I haven't been eating the right way either. I just pray to God to help me through this tough time.

[eightball61]

Just have a restful night and I will talk to you sometime this weekend. Have a good night ;)

[dvs ladii]

I will definitely try my best to have a restful weekend. Thanks again for all your help, I appreciate it a lot. And you have a good night too :)

[eightball61]

Leave us updates anytime ;)