Flirty talks, even when you are dating?

[starrynites]

I was wondering if anyone has a friend that they feel they are more flirty with when they talk. Flirty as in, not leading to anywhere, just harmless talking but in a flirty way, in person or online. But not with everyone, just one or a few particular person(s).

I'm asking because there is this girl my bf is friends with. Well, theyve been friends 2 years before he has met me. I find that he is flirty with her when they talk online. I can't explain it exactly, but i just have this gut feeling that it is. It bugs me a little. I know that they had a thing for two weeks when they met, but now theyre friends (it's about 4yrs now). I'm not sure if its just the way they talk to each other. There was also this friends network thing that was popular when they met(this is 3-4yrs ago), and they use to post public msgs to each other on their profiles. I've read them before and they appear to be kinda flirty. ( i don't wana bring up what he wrote 3-4yrs ago! but i was comparing their msgs before and now) So I don't know what to make of this.

My guy friends tell me there are particular girls they are flirty with because they started out like that, but they don't have any feelings for them in any way. It's just the way their relationship is. They also think that they need to flirt a little, even when theyre tied down. I guess it's hard for me to understand because I find that I don't have any relationship like that. I also feel that I don't NEED anything like that. What can I make of this? Do some of you have similar relationships with friends like that, some talking/flirting that don't really mean anything in a deeper sense?

[eightball61]

It can be very botherson to the other partner but flirting is all over the place today and very hard to get rid of. I will admit that I can be a bit flirty myself but I know my limits on how far to carry it. If your boyfriend know his limits then I see know wrong doing. It seems he has been very open about this whole thing and willing to communicate back with you on.

I once told my girlfriend (we have jealousy issues) that we won't be able to go through entire life without at least getting hit on. Its totally natural and happens. Flirting back is vey harmless until you take it overboard and when I say that I mean ually talking or having alot of active touching.

This girl was a friend before you both got together. He picked you over her and you should see that as a positive. They have a friendship that you can't really stop or control. If you have examples of the flirtiness that you think is going over board then point it out to him along with how it makes you feel. Let him know you are not trying to stop the friendship but as a girlfriend you like him to work with you a little more on feeling secure about thier friendship.

[bdtraders]

One of the first things i notied when my and my fiance started going out was theway she talks and at times flirts with other people. I used to get so insecure about it, then i realised that is just how she is and dosent mean anything by it, shes a really outgoing person.
It is very normal for people to flirt and also window shop, i go by the rule that it dosent matter where you get your appetite as long as you always eat at home. If her flirting gets to much (ual in nature) to me then i call her on it, but other then that shes in bed with me everynight.
I know i am guilty of flirting as well be it the girl at the checkout counter or females at work, but to me it goes no farther, i know my limits also and dont cross certain lines.
Flirting is human nature and it helps us to confirm that we are still desiarable and boosts are egos, im not saying that our SO's dont do that as well but everyone still needs to feel that they "still have what it takes" even though it may never lead anywhere.
To me its healthy to flirt, but know the limits. If his flirting goes across one of your lines then inform him that it upset you and that you dont wish that he stops just can he tone it down a bit.

[Loving romantic]

Me and my fiance have trouble with this issue. He tells me that flirting is cheating because you shouldn't be talking like that knowing you have someone else. I don't feel the same way. He knows I'm generally a really nice person and people flirt with me all the time. I flirt back, but I also know my limits and I stop if it goes further than I think it should. It helps my ego out alot to know that someone else is interested cause there are times when it doesn't seem like my mate is. I can't see how it's cheating if you aren't going to far or touching each other. I want to know how other people feel.

[starrynites]

Thanks a lot. I guess I just wanted to hear it from other ppl!! :)

[eightball61]

No problem and please keep us posted on any changes that may come ;)

[Howard]

I think flirting is a way of getting the other person's attention to try to acknowledge them.I've had that done to me and it didn't bother me at all.

[Rich]

It's just not flirting if they had "a thing" with each other for a couple of weeks.

They shared a bond and closeness and still do.

There's no right or wrong answer. If two people get along on that level but just know that they're not the type of person (for whatever reasons) that each one wants to marry, then there's nothing wrong with "flirting". But if there are still unresolved issues and it's happening, then it can lead somewhere. Depends on the maturity of the people involved and how often they're together.

I'm married, but I'm flirty. But I know that maybe it might bother my wife sometimes, so I'm cool about it. Don't do it in front of her and trying to limit it regardless. She is flirty too and knows that it bothers me sometimes and she cools it when neccessary. It's all about the people involved.

Rich